The Alpha's Lost Luna

17

Rowan

I shouldn't have done that. I should have pushed her away. But the minute her lips pressed to mine and I felt their pillow softness, I was lost. She was injured. Scared. Hell, before all of this, she had been trying to run from this place. From me, from everything this bond represented. I knew that. I should have remembered it.

But none of it mattered. The only thing at the forefront of my mind was the taste of her lips and the sound of her breath coming out in soft, shocked pants against my mouth. She didn't shove me away. She didn't curse me out.

No... her fingers curled into the fabric of my shirt, grabbing me just as desperately as I was holding onto her. She kissed me back like she had been starving for it too, and that realization nearly sent me over the edge. Was this the made bond at work, or was this truly what we both wanted? I couldn't think of anything I wanted more.

I wanted her to lean into the safety I so desperately wanted to provide. I wanted to break every chain keeping her trapped here — fear, control, obligation, all of it. I wanted to tear this entire place apart and rebuild it from the ground up if it meant giving her peace. For her, I would change everything.

Careful of her wounds, I slid my fingers into her hair and gently tilted her head back, deepening the kiss. My tongue brushed hers and every part of me ached to pull her closer, to erase every inch of space between us. She whimpered softly against my lips. The sound hit me like a warning shot. This was moving too fast. Not for me. For her. Reluctantly, I pulled away.

My eyes dropped to her mouth, to the soft shimmer left on her lips — evidence of what had just happened. A reminder. A temptation. A fire was starting to burn inside of me, all of it sparked by the taste of her on my tongue.

Her beautiful doe-like green eyes opened slowly, dazed and unfocused, like she was just as lost in this as I was. Her fingers lifted and pressed lightly to her mouth, like she couldn't believe what had just happened. I realized then that I was still holding her. Her hair was like silk between my fingers, and my mind immediately went somewhere dangerous. I wanted to see that hair wrapped around my wrist. I wanted to dominate her. I wanted to see how willingly she would surrender, how soft she would become beneath me, how completely she would trust me with every vulnerable piece of herself.

Her mind... her body... her soul. I wanted all of it. Even knowing that keeping her would nearly be impossible.

A low groan nearly escaped me as images flashed through my mind. Possibilities, fantasies, futures I had no right imagining. Yearning was not something I had ever allowed myself to feel. Wanting was dangerous. Attachment was weakness. But I could feel it building.

My wolf didn't care about any of that. He had found his mate. That was the beginning and end of it for him. He wanted her. He wanted to claim her, protect her, keep her close enough that no one could ever touch her or hurt her again. His devotion was immediate. Absolute and violent in its certainty. I envied how simple it was for him.

Elizabeth looked up at me, her eyes glassy with emotion, and panic immediately clawed its way into my chest. Was she crying? f**k! Why was she crying? Had I upset her? I wasn't good at this. I wasn't good at feelings. I had been raised to believe emotions were weaknesses. Cracks people could use to break you apart. The academy didn't teach emotional control. They taught strategy, strength, dominance, and survival. This? This was foreign.

I released her and pulled my hand back, tucking it against my thigh to hide the slight tremor starting there. She was still touching her lips, staring somewhere far away, like her mind was running a hundred different directions. I wanted to ask. I wanted to pry every thought from her head. Did she feel what I felt? Did she want this bond? Did she regret that kiss? Did I? I didn't have an answer for that.

These were dangerous waters, and I had no idea how to navigate them. I couldn't ask my parents for advice. They were fated mates and still managed to hate each other. Maybe more than they hated Elizabeth. I didn't trust Cade's father as far as I could throw him, though he had been devoted to his mate wholeheartedly. Growing up, I thought I could trust all of them. Coming home — seeing this place with clearer and fresher eyes — I realized how blind I had been.

Elizabeth's stomach growled softly. She didn't react. She didn't blush and didn't apologize. She didn't even acknowledge it. That hurt more than I expected because it told me exactly how normal hunger was for her. My eyes shifted to the tray Cade had brought earlier. I smiled slightly when I noticed Stuart had added an extra dessert.

No one would question extra food being brought to my room, but Cade had made sure Stuart had known it was for Elizabeth. That thought settled something in me. She had at least one person looking out for her. Even if it had to be done quietly. I wondered what Cade thought of us being mates and if he would be willing to accept her standing by my side or if he would revert to hating her the way everyone else seemed to.

I reached for the tray and placed it carefully across my lap. Her eyes locked on the food instantly. Hunger flashed there so quickly it made my chest tighten. Meat. Potatoes. Vegetables. Warm spices. The scent of it all filled the room, rich and comforting. Even the sweet scent of the cakes had my mouth watering.

I scooped up a bite of potatoes, and without thinking, brought it to my own mouth first. Her expression shifted instantly. Pain and sadness. She thought the food was for me, not her. She didn't know I was testing it. That despite trusting Cade with my life and trusting Stuarts' quiet kindness, I wasn't taking chances. Not with her.

Everyone in this pack likely knew what happened in the town square. They knew she was here. And I wouldn't put it past any of them to make a move. All it would take was one person slipping poison onto this tray. I would never forgive myself. I chewed and swallowed the food. I waited. Seconds. Then longer. Long enough to be sure.

When I was satisfied, I scooped up a fuller bite and held it toward her lips. She reached for the fork. I gave a low warning growl and shook my head. No. I wanted to do this. The alpha in me — my wolf — needed to care for his mate. I wanted to provide for her. Protect her. Be the person she could rely on for even the smallest things. I needed her to see she was safe with me. That I could be safe.

I had spent days convincing myself letting her go would be better for her. But that kiss.... it changed everything. Now I needed to convince her that this was real. That I meant it. Because so far, I had given her no reason to believe I cared. She needed reassurance. I would give it.

Slowly, hesitantly, she opened her mouth and let me feed her. Her eyes fluttered shut as she tasted it, and her whole body seemed to soften. A victorious smirk pulled at my mouth. Good. We continued like that until the plate was empty. Me tasting every bite first, then feeding it to her. Every single time.

When she was done, Elizabeth crossed her arms over her stomach and rubbed her hands up and down her arms. Nervous. Cold. Her gaze landed on the pitcher of water across the room, and her tongue darted out to wet her lips. She hadn't asked. She hadn't said a single thing. Without hesitation, I reached for it and poured a glass. She reached for it and I pulled it just out of reach.

Her eyes narrowed and mine did too. She leaned back with quiet resignation. "Good girl." I purred down the pack bond to her. Her eyes widened, hearing my voice in her head, but she didn't speak. I lifted the glass to her lips and tilted it gently. I watched, mesmerized, as her throat moved with every swallow.

When I pulled the glass away, a few droplets lingered on her mouth. Without thinking, I brushed my thumb slowly across her lower lip, wiping them away. My eyes drifted there again and my wolf surged. He wanted her, desperately, and if I was honest, so did I. Too many emotions threatened to surface. Too many things I didn't know how to name. So instead, I did the only thing I could. I reached for her hand and held it tightly in mine.

"Stay," I said. The word came out rougher than I intended. It sounded like a plea but it felt like a command.