Chapter 60 Episode 60
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She opens her mouth and then closes it wordlessly. She backsaway from me. “I don’t know. Why the hell do you need toknow?”
I watch her eyes shift as she does the mental math. The colordrains out of her face, and I know she’s thinking what I’mthinking.
“You’ve been throwing up,” I say. “You’re tired. Emotional.”
“I just found out I was your secret mistress and I lost my job,”she hisses. “Of course I’ve been emotional.”
I step forward. She tries to back away, but there’s nowhere forher to go. Her back is pressed against the countertop, pinned inthe corner.
I stop in front of her, looking down. “Belle.” My voice isgentle, but she still flinches. “You’re pregnant.”
“I’m not pregnant,” she spits. “I’m not. Because… I can’t bepregnant. I can’t, okay? I’m not. This isn’t happening.”
“Who did you sleep with last?”
She glares at me. “Who? Who? Who the f**k do you think,Nikolai?”
I arch an eyebrow in response, although I have to clasp myhands together behind my back so she doesn’t see themshaking violently at the thought of another man laying somuch as a finger on her.
“It was you! You’re the last person.” She crosses her armstightly over her midsection, almost like she might be able tohide the truth with her arms. “And I should have had a perioda month ago… but I was feeling sick and stressed, so I thoughtI just skipped a month. Maybe I did. Maybe this is nothing.”
“You need to see a doctor.”
“If I want to do that, I’ll do it on my own.”
I ignore her, mind racing already. “You’ll come back to thecity with me, and I’ll make an appointment with the bestOBGYN there is. Then I can set you up in a nice place with achef who can make sure you don’t lose any more weight. Thatcan’t be good for the baby.”
“We don’t even know if there is a baby!”
“And Elise will come, too, obviously. You’ll both come withme, and—”
“I’m not coming with you!” Belle shouts. Her eyes dart to thehallway where I assume Elise’s room is, and then she clearsher throat. “I’m not coming with you. I’m staying here. Itdoesn’t matter if I’m pregnant or not. I don’t want to be withyou. I’d rather raise this baby on my own.”
“Luckily for the child, you don’t get a choice in that.”
“The hell I don’t! This baby is mine and—”
“This baby is mine,” I growl, cornering her against the counteragain. Belle tries to back away from me, but there’s no space.Nowhere for her to go. “This baby is mine. And as long asyou’re carrying it, you’re mine, too.”
So much for making her think I don’t care. Then again, I’venever done “aloof” very well. Tepid isn’t an option. I run hotor cold.
And when it comes to Belle, I’m burning up alive.
Nikolai’s body is pressed against mine. The hard, flat expanseof his abs and the steel beams of his arms might as well be acage.
“This baby is mine,” he growls, his gray eyes alight with apossessiveness I’ve never seen before. “And as long as you’recarrying it, you’re mine, too.”
And there it is. The other shoe.
Ever since he showed up outside the bar, I’ve been waiting forit. I’ve been trying to understand why he’s here at all. Whathas changed since Iceland? Is he going to call things off withXena? And if not, am I fine with being “the other woman”?
The answers, respectively: nothing, no, and absolutely not.
So back to the original question: why the hell is he here?
And here’s one final answer. He’s here for this. This maybe-baby.
I grit my teeth and slam my fists into his chest. My hands stingfrom the contact. I might as well be punching a concrete wallfor how much good it does.
But I have to do something. I’m so sick of doing nothing. I’mso sick of letting the world have its way with me.
“I. Am. Not. Yours!” I shout, punctuating each word with apunch.
“Wrong, kiska,” he murmurs. “You’re mine in every way, inevery place. On land, in the water, in the air. On top of a
mountain, you’re mine. You’re mine, Belle Dowan, and noone else’s.”
I punch him again because what the hell am I supposed toeven say to a growly, possessive, somehow-heart-melting littlespeech like that? Punching is the only logical response.
It once again does approximately zero good, though. Nikolaidoesn’t even flinch, but something in my hand crunchesunpleasantly.
“Ouch!” I shake out my hand. “Shit.”
Nikolai plucks my hand out of the air almost tenderly and useshis thumbs to straighten my finger out. I’m so surprised by thetenderness that I don’t move. I just watch him work,inspecting my hand with his silvery eyes.
“Would you make some kind of effort to keep yourself safe?”he grits out. “It’s exhausting to do it for you.”
I yank my hand away. “Would you get away from me?”
Once again, I try to push him off of me, and once again, I failmiserably.
My cheeks are flaming as Nikolai bends towards me. His lipsare mere inches from mine. “No. Looks like you’re stuck withme.”
“I don’t want to be ‘stuck’ with you. That’s why I left. You’regetting married to someone else. You can go be stuck toXena.”
“I don’t need to be stuck to her. She doesn’t almost get herselfkilled everytime I look away for one f*****g second,” he saysdarkly. “And even if she did, I wouldn’t care.”
My heart lurches. But as soon as the hope rises, I swat it down.
The baby. He cares about the baby and that’s it. He’d give thismuch attention to any woman carrying his Bratva progeny. I’ma breeding mare, nothing more. A means to an end.
“You don’t even know if I’m pregnant. Women skip periodsall the time.”
“Then let’s go get a definitive answer.”
He arches an eyebrow. “Why not?”
I don’t have a good reason and he knows it. I shove on hischest again, and finally, he gives me a little space. Nikolaisteps back, and I can take a deep breath at last.
“Fine, I’ll… I’ll call a doctor,” I tell him. “Tomorrow morning,or whatever. But you have to leave. You can’t be here. Oranywhere near me.”
Those four little words sit on the tip of my tongue, but I bitethem back. I don’t want him to know how much he affects me.Even now. Even though it must be blindingly obvious.
I flew halfway around the world with him on a whim. I let himfinger me in his office when I didn’t know a thing about him.It’s well-established that Nikolai Zhukova shuts down therational parts of my brain.
Which is exactly why he has to stay away.
“I can’t protect you well from far away, Belle. Stop makingthis difficult.”
“The only reason I need protecting is because of you to beginwith! So stop showing interest. Stay away and no one willlook twice at me.”
Xena seemed to think Giorgos wouldn’t pay me any mind if Idisappeared. It’s why she gave me the plane tickets. But now,Nikolai is here and ruining everything. Xena forgave me foralmost ruining her wedding once. Will she forgive me again?
And if she doesn’t… what is she prepared to do to get even?
“People will always look twice at you, Belle.”
Again, my heart clenches, but I know what he really means.“Only because I got tangled up with the wrong person. I musthave I’M STUPID tattooed on my forehead.”
His expression is cold and unreadable, but he’s looking at melike he can read every one of my thoughts. Like heunderstands me, inside and out. For all I know, he does.
The palpable chemistry between us has always beenoverwhelming, but now, it has me feeling actually dizzy.Nikolai came rushing back into my life like a tsunami, andsuddenly, I don’t know which way is up.
He says my name, but it sounds far away. His handsome,frustrating face swirls in my vision, spiraling like a whirlpool.I reach out to him. My hand clamps around his strong bicep,my nails digging into his skin, but even then, the sensation isdistant, ethereal.
Even as black dots appear in the corners of my vision, I fightto look at him. His hand smooths down the side of my face.Calloused thumbs brush across my cheeks so softly that Iknow it has to be a dream. My eyes flutter closed and thenthey snap open again.
All at once, the fog in my head clears. The dizzy spell passes.
“What?” I snap irritably. “I’m fine.”
Nikolai is kneeling over me. A lock of dark hair has fallenover his forehead. We fell to the floor somehow, but I’mcradled in his arms now.
For the length of one breath, I relish how good it feels. Wordshe’s never said and never will say echo in the valleys of mybrain. I caught you. I’ll always catch you.
But then I see them for what they are: a fool’s fantasy.
- Writer
