A Suicidal Love Story #romance #suicide #fate #goodboy

I opened my eyes. For a few seconds, I tried to recognize where I was. Trying to find something familiar to hang on to, to kick my brain to life again. From the dim light coming from my window, I estimated the time to be about 5 am. If I was at home, my alarm clock would still be hours away from ringing. I inhaled slowly, stretching my sore muscles a i did. The dinstinctive smell of toast and bacon was in the air, along with a hint of something else. Someone else. I turned my head abruptly, the silly fog in my mind vanishing immediately. "What the **** are you doing in my room??" Not 5 paces away from me, on MY BED, sat my bad friend, Jim. The evil redhead flashed me one of his b****y smiles. "Haha, sleepy head. I was just about to call in the Calvary. I could have tap danced on your bedpost without waking you up." "It's 5 in the morning, you f***head." I growl. "We still have like 3 hours before school starts. And get off my bed, you're ruining my manly musk with your girlish perfume" Another voice rang out from the door "I think you meant to say monstrous stench." The owner of the voice was leaning against my door while wearing an apron. He wore glasses that was more of an accessory than an actual sight aid. He thinks it'll help him get the ladies.. Two years now, and he's still a virgin. Seems he's the one cooking.. Hmm. "Hey, where did you get that apron from?" I asked. He walked closer to the bed, his eyes squinting so much, it looked like black beads. With his ever present glasses, and lithe frame that seemed to bear no ill will, Aiden looked like the kind of guy you'll want to have as your best friend. The type that'll always have one's back, and comfort you whenever..... "Jim, you were right. You really need to wash your bed sheets, Billy." ....He's not that kind of guy though... I groan. "Could anybody please explain what both of you weirdos are doing in my room at 5 am on a school day?" "Wait up, wait up" Jim chips in from his corner "Does that mean we could come here by 5 on a weekend?" I answer him, even as I keep staring at Aiden intensely "When I said anyone, Jimmy, I never did include you." "Ouch" Aiden looked at me confusedly "Erm... I thought you said we should meet up by 5 am today, so we can read for a bit before heading to school today." Ugh... I don't remember. "It was at the cafe yesterday, remember. You saw some blonde haired girl, you talked with her for a while. After she left, you forced us to promise you that we'll join you in your mega plan to get the best grades in the country." I laughed heartily. Aiden kept on looking at me with his face like some one who lost all his money in a poker game. His expression was making this all funnier."Best grades in the country? Are you kidding me?" "Of course not. I wouldn't have left my bed tho morning if you didn't earnestly swear in the name of all things existing, that you'll buy our tickets for the Alan walker concert." "But why dont I remember any of that?" I asked. "The only thing I remember was the there of us leaving for the cafe together..." I trailed off at that point. I remembered seeing someone, a girl. She made me so angry, that just thinking about it, I started gritting my teeth unconsciously. "Do you seriously not remember? She even introduced herself to us. Her name was Madeline or something..." "Its Madelyn, Jim. Guys, we gotta go now, if we wanna catch the first bus" I walked over to where Jim was so I could grab my tee shirt. Bathing would just have to wait, after all I could take a bath in school or sneak to the swim club at noon..... "Uhmm, Billy who's that girl to you really??'' "Hey, guys. The pancakes are ready now. Are we eating them now or..." I looked over my shoulders for a split second "No. We'll take the food with us. There are some wrap papers in the cabinet." Jim was staring at my face intensely "What?" "Yesterday when you were acting strange, I thought it was a one time thing." I stiffened up while arranging books into my bag. He continued "But today, firstly, you forgot about everything we talked about yesterday. I know your memory is terrible but its not at that level yet" "Gee, thanks man. Get your lazy butt out ta my bed, the bus is in 20 minutes." I crammed the last book into my bag and checked the table for my phone. If we hurried, we could read for a bit at the library for a bit before practice. "Secondly, you have been avoiding my questions about that girl since yesterday. Apart from her name, and of course her bust size, I know next to nothing about her. Seriously man, I thought it was 'bros before hoes.'" I looked up at Jim. He was giving me this 'I'm gonna reveal all your secrets' look. His smug smile was so stupid, I was tempted to b***h slap it right off his face. I nearly did. "Hey, stop teasing him, we gotta go" Aiden poked his head into the room for a second to say this before leaving. I grunt in frustration, making a beeline for my wardrobe, hopefully to get dressed. Twenty minutes later, myself and my whatevers had boarded the first bus to Premier High. By my watch, the time was 5:30 am. We had lost nearly 15 minutes of precious time, trying to get Jim out of my bed after he suddenly decided that the whole issue was bullshit and he wanted out. There's no way I would leave that criminal in my house alone. It wasn't easy. Really. Jim could be difficult sometimes. The bus was silent now. They always were at this time of the day. The only peeps in it were a man, who looked like he hadn't been in a shower for a terribly long while, and a young woman carrying a baby. We sat at the back of the bus, each of us and made light banter. I took one wrapped pancake from Aiden and we ate it together while waiting for the ten minute drive to end. "......don't even believe. They think they own the world. What they gonna do now? I ran away... Hahahaha!!!" Ugh. Why now, lord. "Hey you, whatcha looking at?" ............ We finally got off the bus. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been so happy to leave a bus in my whole life. The man kept on yapping during the entire 20 minutes, obscenities spilling out of his mouth like he was contesting for worlds dirtiest mouth. I spent half the time trying to keep myself from walking over and punching his gut. Aiden just watched on uninterested. Jimmy kept on toeing the line between dreamland and reality. I guess he was trying to make up for lost sleep. The ride was dreadful so when it finally ended, I ran out of the bus like a cat on wheels. Jim was still inebriated. He walked the school grounds bumping into just about anything we found. I got a kick out of watching him suffer though. He deserved that, for making me awkward earlier. Greatest friend ever, yeah that's me. Smile* We headed straight towards the library. We didn't talk much, each of us instinctively taking care to make as little noise as possible. We walked past the sleeping guard and I thought I saw a silhouette on a bench we passed, otherwise the school was as empty as a haunted house. Getting into the library was easy. A single swipe of our student IDs did the trick. Our principal lived close to the school and it wasn't a really rough neighborhood so the IDs we scheduled to work on doors from 5 am. Principal Bassett advocated pre/after school study a lot, and it gave us some perks. By the time, we had finally settled down, it was already a few minutes to 6 am. We started studying, focusing on strengthening our weakest points first. Biology for Aiden, Arithmetic for me and chemistry for Jim. After about one hour, we took a break to eat the pancakes. Jim was already drooling even before the wrap papers came off. It tasted heavenly though. Aiden really knows how to make a mean pancake. " Hey, Bill." I turned to look at Jim who had smudges of stuff on his face. "What?" "You okay?" He asked. "Yeah." "You sure you don't got stuff on your mind." He pointed at my hand. "Either that or that pancake is way too good to let go." Shiet. I laughed awkwardly trying to dispel the fog in my brain and the tension those words brought about. There was no denying it. I had something on my mind. But I couldn't just bring myself to tell them... Yet. Not like this, at least. So I lie. "No it's just my taste buds are kinda off today" Aiden turns to look at me "What? Are you sick or something?" He asked "No, I'm not. It just happens sometimes" I reply. I see Jim raising an eyebrow at my words, so I take a bite from the food to avoid eye contact. From the corner of my eyes I see him struggling with whatever he had to say, in the end opting to keep his mouth shut. I breathe a sigh of relief at that. Any more questions and I would have popped like popcorn. We soon went back to studying. After about an hour, people started trickling into the school. Noises from outside were getting increasingly closer to the library. It was time for us to get a move on. No one, I mean nobody, wants to be seen inside a library by 7 am in the morning. Just one person, that's all it takes to start a rumor that could destroy all of your reputation, and then some. High school's a meat grinder. Its cruel, unforgiving and gossip has no brakes. Literally. We slinked out of the library unseen. I made for the teachers bathroom to take a quick shower before school officially resumed. One of the benefits of being a honors student who's also an athlete is that you could have access keys to everything in the school. You never know when you need one. I met Mrs Jameson at the staff office. The 5 foot plus brunette taught us life science. She was also one of the school counselors, and after a couple of sessions we got familiar with each other. She always seemed to be in a cheery mood. I flashed a smile which she reciprocated affectionately. "Good morning, Mrs Jameson." Lovely morning to you too, Bill. You're quite early today" "Yeah, I have some stuff I needed to do before the bell rings. Mind if I use the bathroom?" "Oh, of course not. Go ahead." I walked briskly to the bathroom eager to get this done with. Ten minutes later saw me out in the halls drying my hair with a flower patterned hand towel. Another gift from the kind teacher. Pity though that I couldn't be seen with it. Nothing says girlish than a pink flowered pattern. So into the trash can it went. I really liked it though. The corridors were starting to get crowded now. Kids were opening lockers everywhere, small clusters of people here and there, the usual stuff. I strained my sight to catch a glimpse of Jim anywhere, but no such luck. Aiden would be at the gym by now so that was where I went to. The school's soccer team was having a rough season and coach said that all members should be present at the gym by 7:30 am everyday except Sunday for training. It was way past 7:30 by now and knowing Aiden, there was no way he wouldn't be there. The poor soul needed enough course credits to get a scholarship and training seemed to take his mind off things for a while. Our school was built with only two entrance, front and side. And the soccer field was way out back. I didnt want to be seen much so I took the side entrance. Still.. "Hey Billy" I looked at the blonde dickhead who had his arms around a girl. Another one of his acquisitions. This one makes what? 16? 18?... "You know you don't get to call me that, Mike." I said. "Yeah. Only your boyfriends do. Haha" The girl joined him in his laughing, making the issue even more awkward. I mean, who does that? What are we, Five? "You know, not every one is still confused about their sexuality like you." I reply. "You should really take some time off girls to figure it out." The smile on Mike Donnis's face disappeared as quickly as it came. "Wha..What makes you say that, punk. You looking for a beating?" A mean smile crossed my lips " No, I just happened to seea few videos of you kissing...um, Jake, Blake... What's his name again? Honestly it's just a friendly advice. I couldn't blame you though. The emotions in that kiss were explosive." .... The shock on his face gladdened my heart so much that I nearly laughed out loud. The girl's expression was also to die for. They looked like two year olds who took a spooky ride through Frankenstein's castle. I walked right past them, making sure to hit Mike with my shoulder. As I walked out the door, I could hear the sounds of argument coming from behind me. Mike was gonna have a rough week, that fact was certain. .... I let myself feel for a moment once I got outside. The wind on my face, the serenity. I could still hear the sounds of students all around me, but in that single moment they all seemed like background vocals for the silence I wanted to hear. Putting down Mike did wonders for my mental state that morning. I really needed it, after my meeting with Madelyn yesterday. The moment was gone as soon as it arrived though, as I was drawn back to reality by sounds of sobbing coming from the back of the sole oak tree in Gregor High. Normally I wouldn't give two f***s about it. People get bullied all the time and crying behind a tree was a bit cliche even for a girl, but, I don't know how it happened. In that second all I wanted to do was to see that person and comfort them. Fate.... Is a very terrible thing. And I found mine, hiding, crying behind an oak tree.