It’s always been you

It had been almost five years since I had last seen him. My parents had let their work consume every part of our lives for as long as I could remember now, but from the moment I entered high school it peaked past what I thought was the worst it could ever be. Neither of my parents had social lives outside of the office anymore. Family members didn't visit, we didn't take vacations, they sent me to my grandmas for most holidays and they were never home for my birthdays. Although I missed them and I did wish they could be with me more… The worst part about the entirety of it all was missing him. And now he was suddenly in town. I got the text alerting me while I was in my last period at school via my mother. The way my heart started to pound and the way my palms started to immediately sweat… I felt like I did when I was in a room with him. I was having trouble breathing and my skin felt like it was on fire… My body reacted the same way every single time. -Elias will be over for dinner tonight, about 6. Make sure you’re home in time to change and freshen up. -xo mom After five years. Talk about last minute warnings as well. This didn’t give me anytime to coach myself into the proper head space. I needed to shower, I needed to do my hair, I needed to PRACTICE. NORMAL. BREATHING. Elias. Elias Kane Quinn. My fathers oldest friend. Their mothers knew each other since before they were even born. They went to school together and then they married and moved into houses right next to each other. And then they had my father and Elias. My grandmother even considered Elias to be like a second son to her. He was always around. He knew me just as well as my parents and I know… loving him was incredibly wrong. I know, the dreams and the fantasies… incredibly wrong but I honestly couldn’t help it. He was everything a man should be. Loyal, kind, hardworking, respectful, dependable and the list went on. Whenever my father needed him, he was there. Elias had, had a lot of free time since his father owned his own business which now expanded across the entire world. The last time I had seen him, he had only just begun to really take over as owner and CEO since his father had passed away recently at the time. Elias had gone to Ireland from what I gathered from the small things I overheard my father telling my mother. I didn’t know how long he had been there but he was back in America now. I remember the last time I had seen him. It was my thirteenth birthday party. He had bought me this beautiful vanity set that I had wanted. I was just starting to really care about my appearance as a “young lady.” My father called me “ridiculous” and “immature” but Elias always respected who I was and what I wanted. When Elias brought it over and put it together my dad complained and rolled his eyes but after a little coaxing, Elias convinced my father it was normal and not over the top like he initially thought. Although I didn’t fit the vanity anymore, I refused to get rid of it and kept it in my closet. Everyday when I would get dressed, I opened my closet and stared at it. I thought that I would never see him again. With what life had turned into because of my parents and their work, it seemed implausible. I looked forward to going to bed every night because I would see Elias in my dreams. I had dreamt about him for a long time now but over the past five years they had gotten more… intense. Every morning I woke up with my heart racing and my cheeks heated. My dreams alone were going to make seeing Elias again much more nerve wracking… As soon as the bell rang I was running past everyone else, out of the classroom. I ignored my locker and went straight outside to the back parking lot and got into my black jeep cherokee. I couldn’t help but nervously tap my finger nails on the steering wheel as the cars ahead of me slowly crept out towards the main road. My mind was completely on tonight so, being on auto pilot got me home safely. I drove this route five days a week and my body was so used to the lights and the turns. What I wasn’t ready for was the black dodge challenger with dark tinted windows just sitting in our driveway. I didn’t know anyone who drove one of those and a pit opened up in my stomach. Sweaty palms sweatier, heart trying to pound out of my chest now, I pulled up next to it and turned off my car. Why was he here already? There was no way it could’ve been anyone else. This was it and I had no time to change or anything else. My parents' cars were always missing. Elias and I were the only ones here it seemed. I took a moment to steady my breathing as much as I possibly could and I got out of the car ignoring my backpack and other things. He wasn’t in his car. I took the liberty to brazenly peak into his windows, cupping my hands to help me see better. What if he had been in there? I might have peed myself, it was a stupid thing to do. But in finding out that he wasn’t inside, I now knew he was most likely in the house. That scared me more thinking about it. So close to my things, so close to the place I laid my head every night thinking about him.. ugh! I had to stop right now! I couldn’t think about those things at a time like this. I had to prepare myself as much as I possibly could to finally face him in the flesh after all of this time. What would he look like now? Intensely more handsome and breathtaking than ever I’m sure of it. But what would he think of me?