Why Can't I Hate You?

CHAPTER 9

ELIJAH

I drove back home as fast as I can. I need to speak to Gloria, tell her about the vision I saw. The vision kept playing in my mind all the while, and the cries of the babies made me want to be deaf. Gloria was sitting on Elmer's lap when I reached home. There was no one else in the house except for the three of us. Gloria and Elmer smiled at me when I reached them. I gave them a stern look and watched their smiles fade. That look meant different to each of them. To Gloria it meant that I need to speak to her about something important right away, and to Elmer it meant that he needs to leave both of us alone for a while and not eavesdrop on our conversation. Elmer doesn't seem to mind this, as she will tell him everything later, anyway. She looked at Elmer, who gave her an encouraging nod, before getting off his lap. I spun on my heels and strolled into my room, shutting the door behind me. After a moment, the door rattled and Gloria entered my room.

"What is it, brother? What happened?" she asked. Her tone worried.

"I saw us today." I mumbled under my breath and sat on the edge of the bed.

She sat beside me. "Saw us? What do you mean you saw us?"

"I saw us, Gloria. The moment we were born." I said, looking straight into her eyes and watched her gray eyes go wide.

"What did you see?" she said one decibel lower than what's called a whisper.

"I saw it. Our mother's body fell lifeless on the floor, her abdomen ripped open, two newborn babies completely drenched in blood were crying their lungs out. There was blood everywhere. It was dreadful, Gloria. Believe me, it was dreadful." I placed my elbows on my knees and held my face in between my hands. "It was us, Gloria. The loud cries are still ringing in my ears."

We sat in silence for a long while until Gloria spoke. "What do you mean you saw it?" Her voice unrecognizable.

"It was like a vision." I thought about it for a second. "Do you know Michelle?"

"The girl who joined a month later? I nodded. "Yeah, what about her?"

Contemplating my thought sensibly, I said, "The vision flashed when she touched me. She saw it too, Gloria." Gloria's jaw drop and her eyebrows knitted together. "It was more like she showed me that vision. The vision of us when we came into existence."

Nothing made sense. What is she and how did she do it? One thing is certain that she is not just a human. There is more to her. "I cannot make sense of anything." I said, and sighed in defeat.

"Do you think she can be one of them?" Gloria didn't have to mention who she is talking about. I shook my head in reply. They cannot be that irresponsible.

"She showed the vision to me in an accident. When she touched me, she got the vision, and unintentionally shared it with me. If she was one of them, she would not have done that. She was emanating a lot of emotions. One of them was fear. She ran away from me after the vision. When I followed her, she asked me what happened to me. If she was one of them, she should have had enough information about us, already. I don't think she is one of them." Gloria looked at me skeptically, but nodded in agreement.

"You are right. Then, what does that make her?" I didn't know that. My mate. She's not just a human. Perhaps she is like me, like Gloria. The thought gave me a hope. A hope of having my mate by my side. Without having to hate her. Probably, just like I did, she got a new power after meeting me because I am her mate. Maybe this was the first time she saw it. Maybe I was blaming her for nothing and the fact that I lost my human side actually had nothing to do with her. That would change things.

"I think - I think she is like us. Half and half." I stuttered frantically, and Gloria looked at me in disbelief.

"How can it be possible? It's just you and me." The more I entertained this thought, the more I felt confident about it.

"Why is it not possible? I mean, Chester didn't even know our kind was possible until he met us. How can we be sure that it's just two of us?" She pondered on my reasoning for a while. She drummed on her knees with her nails, something she does when she is in deep thought, and nodded.

"That makes sense. But, I think it's better to talk to Chester. See what he has to say about the whole thing." She suggested. I bit my lips and nodded in agreement. I don't think talking to Chester is necessary because no other explanation sits perfectly to the current scenario. She has to be half vampire. My mate, then I could accept her easily into my life. Even if I had lost one of the most important goals of my life, at least I'll have a good enough reason to carry on with this endless life.

"Just say nothing about this to anyone." I commanded. She pretended to zip her mouth and placed the key on my palm. As I was about to close my palm, she hurriedly grabbed the invisible key back and unzipped her mouth again. I glared at her.

"Not Elmer. I can't hide anything from him. Around him I become a terrible liar." I rolled my eyes. What else did I expect from my sister. Well, I didn't think she would keep this from Elmer, to be honest. She is my twin sister I know her better than that. But, it's always good to try our luck now and then.

"Fine. Just him. But, ask him to zip it." I instructed, and she nodded.

After Gloria left, I lay on my bed and entertained the idea of Michelle being just like me. That would solve many things. I won't have to keep my feelings in check and my life would be meaningful and more happening. Guilt rushed into me when I realized I blamed her for my problems, when she had nothing to do with it. She was not the one who took my human side away and not the reason Maria won't forgive me anymore; she was not the one to blame why I can't be among humans and feel normal anymore. I blamed her for nothing. I need to talk to her and apologize for my hostility and bring her into my world.

The thought of accepting my mate into my life spread an enormous smile on my face and dissolved all the creases which were dancing on my forehead from the past few days. But the creases returned shortly when I recalled that Michelle too had seen the vision. If it was her first time, she might be as terrified as I am. It's better to go check up on her and talk to her about everything. Before that, let me talk to Chester and see what he has to say.

Chester was in the library, reading one of his favorite books in psychology. He sat on a chair, spreading his legs forward on the ottoman. He gave me a smile when he noticed me standing by the door and closed his book.

"Tell me what can I do for you." He said. I sat in the empty chair beside him and explained to him what happened today. The dance, the touch, the vision, the cries and my theory about Michelle being like Gloria and me. Chester listened to me patiently all the time. He had a constant frown on his face while I spoke.

"So, what do you think about this whole thing?" I asked him. He got up from his chair and paced back and forth, thinking about something.

"This doesn't sit well." He said. I looked at him, disappointed, and waited for him to explain. "Let's say that she is like you, a half human, then why did you lose your human side and why does she still have it?"

"I don't know. Perhaps that was not because of the mate thing. Maybe, the human side dies automatically after a while." I tried to convince him and myself.

"Okay, and why do you think Gloria still has her human side?" Chester questioned. I was getting annoyed now.

"I don't know, Chester. Perhaps her time has not come yet." I blurted in a harsh tone. Chester opened his mouth and closed it again.

He smiled at me and said, "If that's true, I will be happy for you, son."

I sighed, exhausted. "I want to believe it's true." I mumbled.

"I see that." He nodded, keeping his smile in place. His crimson eyes burning into mine. "But, just keep your options open."

I nodded and walked out of his library in annoyance. Now, I was back to confusion. Nothing was clear again, and the image I'd built in my mind in the last few hours was getting shattered slowly. I strolled into my room and picked up my car keys from my dresser to go visit her. She must be terrified. Vampire or not, she still is my mate, and somehow I feel responsible for her.

I parked my car far from her house and hid behind a tree right opposite her room. It's dark and she cannot see me from here. She sat in her room drinking some kind of soup. A look of panic and restlessness on her face. The vision really terrified her. An urge to comfort her spread across my body. After the soup, she took some medicines and checked her phone. She frowned, looking at her phone, and I got curious about what was she thinking. She bent sideways and placed her phone on the bedside table. As I was entertaining the thought that she might sleep any time now, she began reading the novel Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Wow! That's unusual. I chuckled and watched her intently.

It was past midnight and her eyelids were dropping, but she was fighting it by pushing her head close to the book. What is she doing? Seems like she doesn't want to sleep. Not sure of her intentions, I kept watching her until she finally fell asleep with the book in her hands at around half past four in the morning.