Why Can't I Hate You?

CHAPTER 8

MICHELLE

Elijah's hostile countenance insisted me to scream 'No' and run out of this place. "Can we?" he repeated and before I know it, I found myself nodding at his request. He gave me a smirk and got off his chair. I looked at Ash while getting up and she gave me an enthusiastic smile and I nodded. Elijah walked ahead and I followed him. What does he want to talk to me about? Maybe he wanted to apologize for behaving like a jerk yesterday. Maybe I should apologize first for whatever I did and pushed him to behave that way. He took me to a deserted part of the library and turned to face me.

"Okay, before anything, I would like to apologize for whatever I did to offend you. I -"

"Cut the crap. Your apology means nothing to me." I am sure my drumming heart stopped for a second after encountering his rudeness. Now, I was beyond angry. I was apologizing for whatever the f**k I did to hurt him. I don't even know what that was but still I was generous enough to apologize. Look at him, how could someone be so rude. "I brought you here to ask you just one thing: Who was the boy you were talking to the other day?"

"Boy? What boy?" I recalled all the boys I spoke to in the past three days. But, they are from this college, Elijah already knows them.

"You were speaking to some guy on a call yesterday, who was that?" he said, through gritted teeth. I was talking to Alex yesterday at lunch. But, how did he know about it. Surely the call was not on speaker phone. How does he know that I was talking to a guy?

"Answer me." He whispered clenching his jaw. Is he kidding me! I scoffed.

"I don't see how this concerns you." I answered, blankly. "Whomever I talk to, who are you to question me about it? And, why the hell should I even answer to you?"

"You have to answer me because I am asking." My blood boiled witnessing this man's impertinence. I could break his jaw in one punch.

"Who the f**k do you think you are. You bring me here to talk and when I apologize to whatever the hell I've done unintentionally to offend you, you act like a rude asshole and ask me questions about my personal life and expect me to answer them for you. Well, get ready to cope with disappointment because I shall never answer any of your damn questions." I snapped and strolled out of the library, leaving him to turn red with anger.

I went back to the cafeteria to grab my bag. The cafeteria was almost empty and Ashley and others had already left. I checked the time on my phone. Great! I am late for my music lecture. I grabbed my bag and rushed for my class.

All the seats were already taken when I reached the class. I rushed to the back and sat at an empty desk. My heart was still thrumming, but this time with rage. Who the hell does he think he is. I listen to my mother's rudeness and hostility out of respect and the fact that she gave birth to me. But, I am not obligated to listen to anybody else's crap. I am officially done with him.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. There's a message from Ashley.

'Elijah just entered into the classroom. Did you guys sort things out??? Reply me.' I scoffed. Not even close.

'NO.' I hit the send button.

'Why?? What happened? Are you okay?'

'Nothing. I am fine.' I replied and pushed the phone back into my pocket.

Though it hurt to hear such harsh words from Elijah, it's good that it happened. I don't know what I was thinking about him. I don't trust people. And, somewhere in the back of my head, I wanted to trust Elijah, even though I know it won't end well. It never does. I was giving him an opening which he could have exploited. Whatever it is that I was thinking or feeling about him, this little confrontation has proved against it and now I can have a clear head.

My phone vibrated again and it was Ashley once more.

'You're coming to my place tonight, right?'

I huffed. I really hope he is annoyed enough to skip this little get together. I don't want to be anywhere around him for a while, at least. But, it's unfair of me to ask Ash to choose one of us. So even if he is there, I just have to suck it up and tolerate him.

'Yes.' I replied and shoved the phone away. I need to talk to Judy and see if she has things to do. I don't want her to be in that house alone. It's too risky and I cannot even tell her the reason. All this is crazy.

After the classes, I called Judy to see what she was up to and inform about my change of plans. She was cool with me coming home late. She was in office herself and was planning on doing overtime. That's a great relief. I came to know that Ashley lived on campus dorm at Vi Hilbert hall on eight floor. All of us, minus Elijah, assembled near the parking lot and Ashley guided us to her dorm from there.

Ashley's dorm was the size of my own bedroom. Everything was equally divided: two closets, two beds, two work desks, each of the item one on the left and the other on the right. A tiny little refrigerator rested right in the middle of the space between the two work desks. A huge window exactly opposite to the front door displayed the view of SeattleU from the top. It's a small room, yet cozy enough. We sat on the beds across from each other. I'm glad Elijah wasn't here. Just as I expected, he was annoyed enough to skip this thing. I thanked the lord for that.

With a loud thud, the door opened, revealing a beautiful lean girl with long curly red hair and brown eyes. She was wearing denim shorts and a white tank top. "Hey Ash!" she sang in her sweet voice.

"Meg!" Ash greeted her and turned towards us, "Guys, this is Megan, my roommate." She waved at us and we waved back.

"I'll get out of your hair in just a minute." She chuckled while grabbing her things. "See you, guys." With that, she was out of the room.

"Whoa! That's one hot roommate you've got there." Exclaimed Jackson while the other boys nodded with wide eyes. There was a knock on the door again. Perhaps, Megan left something behind. I presume the boys also anticipated the same as they were looking at the door eagerly when Ashley went to open it. But, to my disappointment, it was the only person I didn't want to look at.

I glued my eyes outside the window while he entered the room. Why did he come now? If he wanted to come, he should have joined us at the parking lot. At least, I wouldn't have expected a lovely time without him. Perhaps, he just wanted that: to disappoint me. That's literally what he has done since day one.

"Elijah, why don't you sit there?" Ashley said, pointing at the empty space on my right. I glared at her and she winked. I expected Elijah to protest at this but he couldn't do even that. See, disappoint me, again. Yeah, right! Like you are not happy about this one, she intervened and I want to kill her for that. Elijah slowly walked towards the bed and sat beside me while I scooted away from him a little. I'll have a talk to Ashley about this. I mentally noted.

"Awesome! So, everyone's here." Ashley said, clapping her hands in excitement making me forget my annoyance and smile at her. She lifted her index finger and said, "I'll just be back." before strolling out of the room. Rachel and Christina began describing how they wanted their dresses to be like while the boys were whispering something in each others ears. I kept myself distracted by the traffic outside the window not paying any attention to the hideous man seated beside me. In a couple of minutes, Ashley was back, holding a glass bowl, with a couple of chits in it, in her hands. "Here are the rules. The boys names are in these chits and girls will have to pick a chit, thus selecting our partners. No exchange or negotiation. Cool?" She commanded and we all nodded in agreement.

"I'll pick first." Christina yelled, enthusiastically.

"No! Not you. Michelle will pick first." Ashley declared and walked towards me holding the huge bowl in front of her. I eyed her suspiciously while she mimed at me to pick a chit. I sighed and was about to push my hand into the large mouth of the bowl when Ashley shouted, "Oh come on! You're too slow. Let me pick one for you." She pushed my hand away and plunged hers inside the mouth of the bowl, picked a chit and pushed it towards me.

I stared at her, perplexed by her actions and took the chit from her hand. I looked around and realized I wasn't the only one confused.

"Open it." She said and all eyes were set on me including the one I don't want to name. I unfolded the chit and stared at the name inside it. Oh, my gosh! This is a disaster, she exclaimed, and I agree with her. This is a disaster. Before I could make up my mind, the chit was snatched out of my hands. Ashley had a mischievous grin on her face while she looked into my chit. 

"Elijah!" she chimed.

Elijah's head snapped up at the prompt of his name. He stared at Ashley for a brief moment and then looked down at me. I am one hundred percent sure that Ashley had orchestrated the whole thing. I was beyond annoyed and could happily hit her head repeatedly with a brick until she fell unconscious. I waited for Elijah to deny this whole thing, but he didn't utter a single word. Disappointment, once again. Why are you waiting for him to deny? Just deny it yourself if you're not very happy with your partner, my conscious suggested and I rolled my eyes. He clearly has a problem with me, then why should I deny it. Let him do it for his own benefit.The bowl was passed forward and all others picked their partners: Jackson was paired with Rachel, Paul with Ashley, John with Christina.

"Okay! Half of the work is done. We can have a mini practice session to match our rhythm with our partners." Ash said and all others agreed while Elijah and I were nearly frozen. "First couple, Michelle and Elijah." Ash announced, "You two, decide your steps while I quickly get my music player from Meg." She said to both of us before running out of the room. All others sat beside their partners and began discussing about the dance. I stole a glance of Elijah's face from the corner of my eye. He appeared to be in deep thought or some kind of dilemma. Maybe he was trying to figure out a way to get out of this dance.

Ash returned with a white iPod in one hand and a Bluetooth speaker in the other. "Go ahead," she said, pointing towards the space between the two beds. Elijah instantly got up and walked to the middle while I followed him reluctantly. Once we were face to face, Ash started playing a light background music. "Go on," she pushed and I glared at her. I noticed Elijah was looking at me, probably hoping for me to start the dance. I sighed while stepping closer to him to put my arms on his shoulders.

As soon as I touched his right shoulder, I had a flash in front of my eyes — a woman's body lying lifeless on the floor, her stomach open and her intestines in the display. Two new born babies completely drenched in the lady's blood, crying out loud. I gasped and immediately pulled my hand away from him while I took a step back. A shiver ran through my nerves making me weak and giddy. What the hell was that? I stared back at him with wide eyes and jaw almost hitting the floor, trying to understand whatever that vision was about. He looked equally startled. There is something wrong with him. Something I don't understand. It's like some dark energy, or...death? Elijah's eyebrows drawn together and his eyes as wide as mine, as if he knew what I just saw or was thinking about. You must stay away from him, the voice instructed and all of a sudden I was ready to do exactly what she said.

Everyone's eyes were on me, perplexed as ever. But, I cared less about anything right now. I could not stay in here for another minute. "I have to go," I declared, still unable to take my eyes off of Elijah's bewildered face.

"What? Where?" I heard Ash speak as I rushed out of her dorm, "What is with you guys?" she groaned.

I've never experienced such an evil aura emanating from someone, ever, in my life. I ran out of the building. Images of that horrible vision flashed in front of my eyes in an endless loop. I stopped near the parking lot to catch my breath, my hands on my waist and my chest heavy. I slowly sat on the sidewalk holding my head between my hands. My body shivered and my head was pounding. What was that? Was that something about him or me? Or is it both? I could still hear the babies crying in my head. I shut my eyes to shun all the negative thoughts gushing on my mind. The terrible flashes played when I close my eyes. A sharp gasp escaped from my lips as I saw Elijah standing in front of me when I opened my eyes. I swiftly got up and took a step back. My breathing still heavy.

He looked at me with furrowed eyes and deep crease on his forehead. The words escaped from my lips before I could think them through.

"Something is wrong with you...What - What happened to you?" My voice laced with worry. A wave of relief spread on his features and was quickly replaced with confusion. His face appeared as if he was having a silent discussion within himself. "And, How did you come after me so quickly?" my words came out as a whisper. Why is he so silent?

"What are you?" he questioned catching me off guard. What's that supposed to mean. I didn't have it in me to ask him further or quarrel with him anymore. "Why did you run?" he questioned further and I don't have an answer to that. What am I supposed to say - that I saw a dead lady with her stomach open and two babies drenched in blood crying their lungs out? He would just think I am insane. He already hates me.

A gush of strong wind blew, carrying a lot of dust and dried leaves, making it even more difficult for me to breathe. Elijah glanced at the sudden change of weather and looked back at me. He took a step in my direction and whispered. "What are you?" My head was pounding hard with all this nonsense and his stupid question was not helping. Leaving him stranded, I ran out of the campus.

I looked behind me half expecting him to follow me and let out a sign of relief when I didn't find him anywhere near me and hurriedly booked an Uber to get out of this place. I quivered every single time a loud lighting struck and my headache got worse every passing second. It started to rain when I climbed into my Uber. The weather in Seattle is strange. It's sunny one minute and raining the other. When I reached home, Judy was watching the television. I chose to ignore her and rushed to my room, locking it behind me.

Judy pounded on my door like an animal. I couldn't even reply to her as I needed a moment to catch my breath.

"Oh, my God, Michelle! Is everything alright? What happened? Why did you run to your room like that? Are you not feeling well? Did someone say or do anything? Tell me, Why are you silent?" Judy bombarded me with a set of inane questions right after I opened the door.

"Judy, relax. I am fine." I put my hands on her shoulders. She looks really worried.

"Why did you run like that? What happened? You look so pale."

"I was riding back home and, I suddenly got nauseous. I am fine now. Just my head hurts," I said, rubbing my temples, "you can stop worrying."

"Sick? Should I call a doctor or something?"

"My goodness, Judy. Calm down. I am totally fine. Look at me."

"I am looking at you, and you look ghastly," she pushed me slowly towards my bed, "you better close your eyes awhile, I'll get some tablets and cook chicken soup for you."

"No!" I shouted, "No closing eyes. I'll just lie down here." My heart hammered against my chest just by the thought of closing my eyes. The whole appalling episode will just repeat itself.

"You need to rest, you look —"

"Judy, either I am just lying down or walking back to the living room." I yelled at my sweet aunt, adding an extra line of crease on her already crowded forehead.

She nodded before leaving the room. Michelle, you really need to simmer down, she doesn't even know anything, said the sane voice in my head. I rubbed my forehead in an attempt to calm myself down. I sprinted to my washroom and stood in front of the mirror to discuss this situation with my best friend.

"What do you think that was?" I whispered, looking at my reflection. I don't know, was the answer. I sighed heavily, unable to breathe.

"Do you think it's him or me?" I blinked rapidly trying to hold my tears back. I don't know, was the answer, again.

"I mean, that happened when I touched him, it has to be about him." 

All of his friends touch him, you think all of them have a flash like that. We cannot just push this on him, alone.

"What the hell do you suggest? We are seeing things, do you want to say that we are insane, mental?" I raised an eyebrow at my reflection.

Everything is so uncanny after we've moved to Seattle.

"Or, after we've met him. It all started after Elijah."

That's insane! How can he possibly effect such things about us. I huffed.

"I've no idea what to do?"

I think we should discuss this with someone outside.

"Someone outside! To whom? And, what do we tell them? That we see things that aren't actually present?" I practically shout.

Don't shout! Judy has been already worried about us, she yells back.

"See, we have never discussed our problems with someone outside. And I can't suddenly go around and tell people about my mental issues. So, you listen to me," I point a finger at my reflection in the mirror, "Elijah is a bad news. I don't give a f**k what you think. The problem is with him and we need to stay as far away from him as possible. End of discussion." I dashed out of the bathroom and paced around in my bedroom, looking for a distraction.

You could always work on your subjects, you know, the classes you've missed, inner me suggested. Classwork needs a hell of a concentration and I certainly have no strength to concentrate on anything right now. So I decided to read a book to distract myself from that hideous boy and the terrible argument I just had with myself. I would usually prefer my favorite classic, Pride & Prejudice, but the love story of Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy is the least I need right now so I went for Harry Potter, something that is out of this world. I internally begged Harry to help me get out of this nonsense and take me to the world of Hogwarts.

"What are you?" Elijah's words rang in the back of my mind. He kept asking me "what are you?" What does that even mean? What am I? A simple college-going girl who moved to Seattle in an attempt to escape the stress she was having back home. What the hell did I know? At least I was habituated to my previous "mom-related" stress. Now I am all confused. I'm not even sure if I'm stressed about that gorgeous boy or my own self. I need to stop calling him that. He is hideous, obnoxious and definitely not gorgeous. You know he is, said the voice.

My train of thoughts was interrupted when Judy entered with a strip of tablets and a hot bowl of soup. She gave me a weak smile before placing them on my side table. "Feel better." she said before walking out of the room. I have to talk to her and apologize.

After I had my soup and medicines, I picked my phone from the side table to send a good night message to Dominic. I had two missed calls from Ashley and five new messages: one from Dominic and four from Ashley. I clicked on Dominic's message which read:

'Night night, sweetheart :)' which I reply.

Then, I clicked on Ash's messages:

'Hey! You okay?'

'I got worried when you ran away like that... call me back.'

'I really hope you're okay. You better have an explanation for having me this worried... :('

'Hey!!!'

I know she is really worried about me and I need to have something to think of as an excuse.

I'm fine. Don't worry. Good Night. I replied her and I set my phone aside before resuming reading the book.

My eyelids got heavy with sleep and I bend to lift my phone from the table to check the time, 3:45 A.M, it read. I was too afraid to close my eyes even though sleep dripped from them. I rubbed my eyes and sat up pressing my back to the headboard. I cannot take another attack of that horrendous vision, it just scares me to my core. I pressed my head into the book in an attempt to focus more into the plot to avoid the sleep.