Why Can't I Hate You?

CHAPTER 7

MICHELLE

I walked into the classroom restraining myself from turning to my left. I don't want to look at Elijah. Not that I don't want to, but I can't. If I look at him, I feel the intensity of my decision will be reduced. Instead, I kept my eyes on Arthur, who was already seated in his place. I gave him a warm smile as he said hello. I opened my books and waited for Mr. Brant to start the lecture. From my peripheral vision, I could see that Elijah was looking in my direction. Look ahead. Look ahead, she kept repeating in my head.

In the middle of the class, I heard Arthur say, "Did something happened between you and Elijah?"

I turned to him, confused. "No, why?"

"He is staring at you from the moment you stepped into the class?" he answered. Why was he looking at Elijah?  she interrupted and I controlled an urge to slap her. Instead, I asked something more important.

"Does he look angry?"

He glanced back at Elijah and replied, "oh, he definitely looks angry. All okay?" His eyebrows drew closer.

I looked at Elijah from the corner of my eye before answering Arthur, "I don't know." I sighed.

"You fought or something?" Arthur questioned further. My gosh, he is nosy. And, this time I agree with her. But, I think I need to speak with someone about this. It might help me. So, I decided to go ahead and feed his curiosity.

"No, that's the thing. Nothing happened." I shrugged. "At least, nothing that I know of." And, then it hit me. May be I did hurt or offend him in some way. Something I didn't know would offend him. Something I said or did. Because, if I really think about it, why would anybody get angry or hate someone without any reason. There has to be one. I think I should apologize for whatever I've done to offend him. I better talk to Ashley about it. The way she spoke today tells that she knows him well. She might know if I've hurt him in any way.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out." I almost forgot I was talking to Arthur. I turned to him and gave a smile while nodding. Now, I was impatient. Anxious to meet Ashley during third lecture. This would solve at least one of the mysteries at hand.

After my second lecture, I ran for my literature lecture with Ashley. She was sitting in our usual seat and I rushed towards her almost tripping on the way. She kept her eyes on my face while I sat beside her.

"Hey!" I said.

"Spit it out!" she exclaimed, smirking at me.

"What?"

"You have an agenda. You want to ask something." She replied. What the hell!

My jaw hit the floor in shock. "Oh, my gosh! I don't know how you're doing that, but you've gotta stop. You know, It's creepy." I chuckled and she laughed.

"It's true then. Go ahead, ask me." I thought about it for a while, trying to form a coherent sentence in my head.

"The other day, did you see something I said, or perhaps did, to offend Elijah?" her eyes left mine and she bit on her lip, recollecting the events.

"Nothing that I can think of." She shrugged. "Did you meet him somewhere after?"

"He left abruptly, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Well, in that case, I don't see anything offensive. And, moreover, Elijah is not someone who is easily offended. I'm sure he must have had something else in mind, perhaps some personal thing, and that got vented out on you. He looked fine today when I met him. So, don't worry." Ashley insisted. One thing I know for sure is Elijah did not vent his anger on me, the anger was toward me. It was pretty clear being on the receiving end of it. And, even Arthur could tell that Elijah's rage was focused on me.

"May I ask, why do you defend him?" she smiled and joined her gray eyes with mine.

"Do you know the feeling of having a person support you, when the rest of the population aren't that amiable towards you?" I nodded in response. "Yeah, that's what Elijah is for me. When the college had just begun, people used to ignore me, pass mean comments and everything. Apparently, I wasn't cool enough to hang out with. If it weren't for Elijah, guess I still would have been alone sitting in some corner, unnoticed."

I place my hand on her shoulder. "You've been nothing but cool." Her smile widened.

"Yeah, that's what he said to me. He introduced me to some of his friends who eventually became mine too. I still wonder sometimes if they're around me just for the sake of him." She bowed her head and her bottom lip jutted out.

"That can't be true. Even if it is, you won't be alone anymore. You've unquestionably got me as well now." Her smile returned and looked at me with glossy eyes.

"Right, that is why I want both of my friends to be on good terms. So, you guys have to work it out." She warned pointing a finger at me and I nodded rapidly pretending to be scared of her fake anger.

In no time, it was lunch hour and my heart began to pound anticipating my conversation with Elijah. I will apologize to him for whatever I've done, at least I have nothing to lose from it. Ashley and I placed our bags on the table and stood in the food queue. Christina and Rachel joined us soon after. They were discussing about some college festival that is to take place in a month from now. Rachel planned on having a shopping spree with all her friends.

"Michelle, you should come with us. We can find a cool dress for you too," Rachel said, excited. Ashley nodded in agreement.

"Already! The event is like a month later," I chuckled.

"Yeah, don't you see? It's just a month away. We need to be prepared." Rachel replied while Christina collected our food from the counter.

"And, I am not ready to take any risk with my outfit." Christina agreed with Rachel while Ashley and I laughed at their solemness for such an inconsequential thing.

We walked, chit-chatting, to our table where the boys were already seated. My heart thrumming in my chest, but this time I wasn't anticipating our conversation, but the things his electric blue eyes do to me. Calm down Michelle! Remember not to look straight into his eyes for more than two seconds. We planned on talking to him, so might as well get it over with, she said, and I let out a sigh of determination.

Paul, Jackson and John flashed a big smile at me and I waved back. Elijah was not sitting with them. I looked around the cafeteria and found him sitting with some other group, staring right at me. I immediately hung my head as he caught me looking for him.

"Where's Elijah? Is he not eating with us today?" Ashley asked.

I kept my eyes locked to my plate while everybody else looked for him. "Ahh! There he is, sitting with that group," pointed John.

I moved my head towards Ashley as I put a hand on the edge of my mouth to hide it. "Is he not sitting with you guys because of me?"

"Oh no! Absolutely not. Elijah is friends with everybody in the campus. He sometimes sits with some other group when they ask him to. He is friends with literally everybody. Well, except for one." She whispered, looking for someone across the cafeteria, "There! Except for him." I followed her gaze and my eyebrows drew closer in confusion. That was Arthur.

"Arthur?" I said.

She narrowed her eyes at me, "You know him?"

"Yeah, he sits beside me in History."

"Oh! Well, for some reason, he is the only one Elijah doesn't speak with, or at least I've never seen them talking." Ashley shrugged. They both don't speak to each other? Arthur seemed pretty eager to know about Elijah and me this morning. What was that about? If Arthur doesn't speak to Elijah, then, he should not have any sort of interest in Elijah's businesses. And, if Elijah is friendly with almost every soul here, then why not Arthur? Arthur seems good enough. Then why leave out one? Not just one. Guess who Elijah doesn't talk to other than Arthur, the voice in my head reminded me. Yeah, right. I better focus on my problem right now and think about how should I apologize to him if he is not sitting with us today.

"Has anyone ever noticed the group Elijah is sitting today with? They don't talk to anybody other than him. I have never seen someone so reserved." commented Christina.

"Not just that, I have this weird feeling when I am around those people." Jackson glowered.

"That's mean Jackson. Maybe they are just shy to talk to new people." said Ashley. Jackson was funny looking. Honey blond hair, small round eyes and a button nose. His face reminded me of a monkey when he scowled at Ash for defending those people. I bit back a snigger.

I looked at the group Elijah was sitting with. They are five people, excluding Elijah. Five most beautiful people I've ever come across in my life. Three girls and two boys. Of the two boys—one was burly and tall with pale skin and brown hair, a couple of shades lighter than my own. The other one was also tall, but lean and muscular with alarmingly shiny pitch black hair. It was impossible to decide which one of the boys was better looking. The girls were different from the boys. The tallest of the three was undoubtedly the most beautiful among the others. She had a perfect hour glass shaped body, immaculate skin with a pink tint and long golden blond hair. Her features were strikingly similar to that of Elijah's. Maybe they are related or something. The other one too had a medium blond hair, but she was lean and still managed to look flawless. The last one was the shortest of the girls with a lean body and short blond hair. They all had pale skin and light violet rings under their eyes except for the tallest girl. She had the perfect skin.

The tallest girl held hands with the burly boy while the other boy put his arm around the shoulders of the medium height girl. The short one kept stealing glances of Elijah's face while he glued his eyes on me, not paying any attention to the group he is sitting with.The funny thing among all this is that I felt as if I have seen them before. But, I could swear if I had had seen his kind of beauty before I would definitely remember it. After I scrutinized them, my eyes automatically moved to Elijah and he held my attention. He wore a navy blue shirt with black jeans and perfectly messy hair. I quickly looked away as something about his gaze made me anxious, nervous even. Looking away from those magical pair of eyes is the hardest thing to do, but staring isn't an option either. I fixated my eyes on Rachel, who was sitting across me.

"Who are they?" I asked, hoping for help to recall where I might have seen them. I half expected them to be some kind of models or something.

"Well, nobody really knows. There is a rumor that they have moved to Seattle four years ago. Family friends, you know. Seems like they want to keep it that way by not making new friends." Rachel said, lifting her shoulders.

"Gorgeous and hot, though," said Christina. Her eyes sparkle while she rested her chin on her fist.

"Oh, f**k them!" cursed Jackson with a scowl, "Tell us something about yourselves, we don't know a thing." He said, looking at me. Everybody's eyes were now on me. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair from this sudden shift of attention.

I cleared my throat. "There is nothing much about me." I replied, chuckling.

"How do you like Seattle?" asked Paul flashing his bright white teeth.

"It's nice. I haven't seen much, though. Just my aunt's house and the college." I replied with a shrug. Just about when Jackson was to open his mouth again, I tried to divert their attention from me by asking, "So, when do you guys plan to shop?"

"This weekend?" proposed Rachel, pointing her index finger at the girls.

"Sure." The girls replied in unison and the boys groaned.

"Don't you girls get f*****g tired of shopping?" Jackson cursed and made the monkey face again. I mentally imagined him with a lot of facial hair to make the resemblance more accurate. A giggle fell out of my mouth and I covered it by coughing a little.

"Good thing that nobody invited you. So, mind your own f*****g business." Christina snapped and all of them laughed.

"But, before that," Ashley shouted, "we've all got to meet at my place so we can pick our dance partners. Everybody, I repeat, everybody has to be there. No exceptions." Ashley crossed her arms in a dominating attitude and all of us nodded. "Are you guys free today? Like after the classes?"

"Yeah, cool." John replied while everyone else nodded.

Ashley looked at me as I did not reply to her demand. "If you want to go home and come back that's cool too." She said to me. And, that is when I recalled about the biggest problem of all. My haunted house. I would do anything to stay away from that place, but I cannot leave Judy like that. I am as responsible for her as she is for me.

"Can I get back to you on that?" I asked Ash and she nodded understandingly.

"What? Your boyfriend doesn't approve?" Rachel teased. Ashley and Christina laughed while the boys snapped their heads toward me waiting for my answer.

I smiled and was about to answer Rachel when I heard a velvety voice say, "Hey!" My eyes went wide and the drumming of my heart returned when I recognized the voice. All others turned to look at the speaker while I glued my eyes at the table.

"Hey Elijah!" Ash chimed. I squeezed my eyes shut and balled my fists under the table trying to subside my drumming heart when he dragged an empty chair from the table close by and sat next to me. I sucked in air from my mouth before turning to look at him. His face was hard, angry, even but his eyes were soft and electrifying. I recalled my two second rule and looked away, not falling into the trap of his deep blue eyes.

He pushed his hair back with one hand. "What were you guys talking about?" He asked looking at me.

"You have to come to my place today after classes. We're going to select our dance partners for the coming event." Ash answered Elijah, but he looked unsatisfied with her answer. What did he think we were talking about? Maybe he expected us to talk about him, she said, and I mentally scoffed.

Elijah turned his body toward me and asked, "Can we talk somewhere private?" There was no walking away from him this time. I had to look into his eyes and before I know it I was lost.