Why Can't I Hate You?

CHAPTER 4

ELIJAH

I strode out of the building utterly restless and short of breath. Something was not right, I could tell. My body was getting hotter. If I could, I would be sweating by now. I was feeling something or some things that I could not put a finger on. But I did know that something wasn't right because this has never happened before in my existence.

What's wrong?  Said a voice in my head. It was Louisa.

"I don't know. Meet me at the lot. I need to get out of here. Inform Chester, its urgent." I said, under my breath loud enough for each of them to hear. I began walking swiftly towards the parking lot. Walking in a human rate was getting on my nerves, I wanted to run out of this place in my regular pace. But, there's too much risk of being seen in this crowded college. I couldn't look or walk straight. I was overwhelmed by whatever it is that effected me in this very instant. It's as if a tsunami of something was hitting me every now and then, overpowering my senses.I unlocked my car as soon as I entered the lot. They were all already there in our usual parking spot waiting for me to explain.

"What is it, brother?" Gloria ran towards me. Each of them had a troubled look on their faces.

"I can't tell. Something is happening inside me." I replied her, "Have you informed Chester?" I looked at Louisa who just nodded. Gloria and Elmer got into my car where as Louisa, Carlos and Agatha got into Carlos's car. As we got out of the campus, Gloria turned to look at me.

"Brother, are you okay? You seem... breathless."

"What exactly happened?" Elmer asked.

"I don't know, I was talking to humans and all of a sudden I felt something. I don't know what exactly. I hope Chester knows about it." Chester is the oldest and most experienced vampire in our coven. He has been my mentor since the time I first met him. He will definitely have some information about my condition.

I drove as fast as I could to the suburb. When we reached, Chester was already there, leaning against his parked car with hands crossed at his chest. He straightened up once we parked our cars in front of the house.

"What is the emergency?" Chester inquired.

I yanked the door open with my mind control. "Let's get inside." I insisted before walking inside the house.

Gloria sat next to me on the living room sofa. Elmer sat by her holding her hand. Rest all stood in front of me waiting for me to say something. Chester knelt down in front of me. He pushed his wavy golden blond hair away from his face and narrowed his crimson eyes at me.

"What happened?"

"I cannot breathe. Something is happening and it's too overwhelming. I cannot make out what it is precisely." I answered, panting.

"Tell me exactly how you feel."

"I think I'm feeling many things, like all at once." Chester thought about it for a while and nodded slowly. "Do you know what it is?"

"No idea," he answered in a gruff tone. "But, I think, maybe, changing your diet might help."

My body stiffened. "My diet? I've been on the same diet for more than a century."

He got up and walked sluggishly to the end of the couch. All eyes oscillating between Chester and I.

"Yes, I'm aware. But, all I could think about is, perhaps your body is craving for blood. Human food cannot serve creatures like us."

"I am not a creature like you, Chester. I'm a human too and I've been surviving on human food from hundred years." My voice booming into the room.

"You are a vampire too. Perhaps, the vampire in you needs to feed to satiate his hunger." He was quiet and patient.

I sighed and held my head between my hands. "I cannot do that." I shook my head rapidly. "I go to the university crowded with humans who have a fresh supply of blood. If I suddenly start this after a century, I might lose control and end up killing them. I cannot do that." I looked at Gloria, "She will never forgive me." She gave me an understanding look.

"Chester, I think Elijah's right. He and I have been living this life striving to get forgiveness. Elijah especially has worked every minute of his existence helping human kind, to lessen his guilt and as a note of begging for forgiveness. If all of a sudden he drinks human blood, there is a high chance of losing control and past hundred years will make absolutely no sense." Gloria stood with me.

"Okay then, let Elijah get familiar with the idea of blood in general." Carlos suggested. I turned to him and raised my eyebrows. My temper was withering by each passing minute.

"What he means is," Louisa took over, "Elijah could get familiar with animal blood at first and then move to the blood bags." We looked at Chester, who was pacing around the room, he joined his palms and his lips touching the index fingers.

"We could give it a try, surely." He answered after a few minutes of pondering. "Let's get to the forest."

In the forest, we stood in a circle discussing about the Do's and Don'ts of the hunt. Chester explained how the hunt is done as I have never hunted before this. My sister was with me all the while. Agatha's hard and cold hands kept touching mine. She could take away my pain, which I don't think was working because her touch made no difference in my suffering.

"Chester," Agatha called, "Elijah's body temperature has dropped slightly." Gloria immediately took my hand in her own to examine what Agatha had just concluded.

"Yes." She whispered. The feeling of unease grew further within me and I was restless once more.

"Let's not jump into any conclusion. He needs to feed first." Chester declared.

"All of you will be on high alert. Keep humans away from him while he is feeding. Any kind of reckless behavior can end up in killing an innocent because he will be out of control." He instructed. "Elijah, look for a mountain lion or a bear or something. Don't try to chase your prey. You have an advantage of controlling the objects. Use it well and stop your prey from getting away." I nodded.

"Right. Let's go." We all at once started running in our supernatural speed.

"Elijah!" I heard her call. Michelle. The new girl. I particularly remember her honey sweet voice. I spun around looking for her all over the place. She is here at the wrong time, she should not be anywhere near us right now. Could she have seen us running at inhuman speed? But, she was nowhere to be found. I concentrated to listen to her heart beat but nothing. She isn't here. But, that was her voice. So clear and sweet.

"Elijah?" Carlos called out, startling me. His eyebrows drew closer on my reaction, "What is it?"

"Nothing, let's go." We both started running towards the group.

My first hunting went fine. I found a mountain lion, which was after its own prey. Chester helped me catch hold of the animal by trapping it. The rest of them, as instructed, were on high alert and looking for any movement in the woods. I have to say the blood did help me calm my senses. Although, the restlessness still persisted.

After hunting, we all got back to our house. For the first time ever, I actually felt a need to rest for a bit, but I couldn't sleep. I was wide awake. I paced around in my room trying to calm my senses further down when I heard a soft knock on the door and Chester stepped in.

"Shall we go for a walk, son?" Chester asked. He never did this unless he had to discuss something that he did not want others to know about.

"Sure." I nodded before following him out of the house.

We walked in silence for a mile or two to the nearby barren land before Chester stopped to turn to me. His face held so many questions like mine. "What is it Chester? Why did we come here?"

"I have a theory about what might be happening to you."

"What is happening to me?"

He nodded, "I'm coming to that. But first, eat this." He said, holding out an apple. I didn't question him. I took the apple from his hand and took a big bite from it. My face crumbled with its taste. It tasted like its rotten. I immediately spat the bite and looked at Chester still grimacing. Chester was observing my every move.

"It's rotten." I said. He sighed and held my left arm looking straight into my eyes. I looked at him bewildered unable to comprehend his activities.

"You said you felt as if all the emotions came up at once, is it?"

"Yes."

"Are you still feeling the same?"

I nodded, "A bit less, but yeah. I still feel something."

"Concentrate and tell me what exactly are you feeling." Chester said.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to concentrate on what Chester asked. I felt some skeptical, unsure emotion. Like unconvinced about something.

"I feel a dubious kind of emotion." I said, opening my eyes.

Chester slid his hands into his jeans pocket and took a couple of steps away from me. "Concentrate on me. Shun every other thing and say what you feel."

I did the same. It was his feelings. The only difference is that now I felt conviction and confidence emanating from him. I drew my eyebrows closer in confusion. "It's you. I felt your emotions."

"Yes. So, here is my first theory." I waited for him to continue. "You have been gifted a new power. You can know the emotions of the people around you. You have all the emotions rush into you all at once. It was overwhelming as you said." What? That means...

"That means—"

"Yes. That's right. You've crossed paths with your mate." My mate.

"Who did you meet today? She must be someone in the university as it all began there." I tried to recall my day right from the minute I stepped out of the house. I heard the heartbeat of every single person I had spoken to. All were humans. That's not possible.

"But Chester, I did not meet any new vampire today. It's not impossible." I said, shaking my head.

"You are given a new power. Who did you meet for the first time today?"

"Michelle, but she is a human. I particularly listened to her fast rhythmic heartbeat when I was speaking to her." Chester gave a thought to it for me minute, "So, that doesn't make any sense."

"Tell me about this Michelle."

"Michelle is," I thought about her for a second, "She is very sweet, polite and beautiful. Her voice is honey like, sweetest sound I've ever heard in my hundred years. Her emerald green eyes sat perfectly on her fair oval face. She smiled so much when I spoke to her making her cheeks turn red. Her skin looked so soft that I wanted to feel it with my fingers. Her lush deep brown hair covered her ears like a curtain. The most beautiful was the sound of her racing heart. That sound made me want to be around her all the time." When I looked back at Chester, he had the widest grin on his hard pale face. That was when I realized I was smiling too. She is it. She is my mate. But, human?

"Is it possible?" I asked. My voice cracked in disbelief.

"Not that it's not possible. Most of the time it is a vampire paired with us. I guess there are exceptions like yours." He lifted one of his shoulders and dropped it at once. I laughed at the thought of finally finding my mate. Chester laughed with me.

I recalled when she asked about me to Arthur Whitmore in history this morning. I looked at her in the prompt of my name. She turned to see me and then immediately looked down when I caught her looking at me. The red of her cheeks was too adorable. When Ashley brought her to sit with us during lunch, I was stunned to see her so close. Now I know why I felt all of that. Because she is my mate. My mate. Subconsciously, I did recognize her. After a long wait, I finally found her, found my mate.

"I can't believe it, Chester. I finally found her." He just smiled at me. Why did he give me an apple to eat, and touch my arm. There has to be something more to this.

"What is the other theory?" I asked, eying him in suspicion.

He sighed heavily, turning his back at me. "Son, I think - I think you're losing your human edge." My brain stuttered for a moment and my muscles went rigid. Every part of my body was awfully still and my thoughts strove to catch up with what Chester had just said.

"That's not possible. Gloria is my twin, half human just as I am. She is still the same. How can I lose my - lose my human?" This makes no sense. It cannot be different from my own sister to me. That's not fair. If I lose my human, I cannot be among them anymore. I'll have to stay away from all of them just like others do. I cannot help them or feel normal. And primarily, she won't forgive me.

"Elmer is a vampire, he is strong enough for any kind of consequences. So, there was no effect on Gloria other than acquiring new power because of her mate. But in your case, it is a human. Your mate is a human. She is weak and vulnerable and fragile. One little blow on her head and she is dead. Humans cannot protect themselves. Perhaps, your vampire side is getting more powerful and strong by turning into a complete vampire." Chester explained. After a short pause, he continued, "Remember that Gloria and you are a little different from the rest of us. Anything that has happened to the two of you has always been a puzzle. All we can do is guess and come up with a reasonable theory. There is a chance of me being wrong."

"Your theories were never wrong, Chester." He averted his eyes from mine and nodded. "Is there a way to stop this? I can do anything to retain my human." I took a deep breath before saying the next part. "Even if that means an eternity without a partner." Chester looked at me with compassion. He has known us for a long, long time and is well aware of the fact that how desperate both Gloria and I are to get forgiveness from Maria. I had promised myself to serve and help humans to lessen my guilt. But, if this happens, all hope is lost. She will never forgive me.

"No son, I don't think there is anything we can do. You have already crossed paths with your mate. There is no way to undo it. The only choice you could ever have is to accept her into your world or not. But, the powers you gained and the traits you've lost can never be overturned."

"There is no question of her coming into my world, Chester. I lost the most important thing of my existence because of her. I hate her and she means nothing to me." I declared.