Life After Love

"WHY?" I screamed at him. He's looking down, can't even look me in the eye. If this is not showing guiltiness then I don't know what is. I can't help it anymore I started breaking down, crying. He started to look panicked, he doesn't know what to do. He tried to hold me but I took a step back as a sign that I don't want him to come close. I'm disgusted. He still doesn't say anything. It's like he is admitting everything with his silence. Which makes everything worse because deep down I am wishing that this is just a big joke he is trying to pull on me, deep down I want him to deny it, say that this is all just a big misunderstanding and that he really didn't do what he did. But he kept on being silent. "I -- " i tried to say something in between my sobs. "You -- " still trying but I really can't and still proceeds on crying. My heart is breaking, I put my hands on my chest trying to massage it as if it's going to suffice my broken heart. I really can feel the heaviness of my heart and it's like it is breaking into tiny little pieces. "How could you do this to me, Sean?" i said in my lowest voice possible but loud enough for him to hear it. I kept on crying and we both stayed silent for a long time. I found myself sitting on the edge of the bed while he is on the other end of the room. Trying to keep his distance. "8 years, Sean. That's 8 years." i said when i finally calmed myself but still silently sobbing. I tried to look at him but the moment my eyes landed on him I feel another surge of tears about to burst so I looked down. "8 years" I whispered in disbelief. "Of all people Sean, i can't believe you'll be the one who'll hurt me like this." "I gave you everything. Everything." I continued then became silent again. The aura of the room is heavy that I know anyone who enters will definitely feel it. After a long silence I stood up and went towards the door of our bedroom. I just held the knob, there's a part of me that's waiting for him to stop me, that wishful thinking that he'll say it's just a joke, because if it is, even though it's a sick joke I would've prefer that than having this situation my reality. But he still didn't say a thing. I look back at him. "I hope what you did is worth it, Sean. I really hope it is." I said then I went outside our bedroom, picked up my keys and left our unit.