Love is not only Romance

Chapter 11 - Part 2

James had gone to Samantha and the other girls to tell them what I had done, how I had broken his heart. I wonder if things would have gone differently if I had gone to them first. If I was the one who cried on their shoulders. Like other things I would never know because someone beat me to it.

A tear. A lonesome tear is what caused everything to crumble down.

Before I could register the conversation I just had, I was being bombarded with questions, with claims.

“How could you do that to him. He loves you” Samantha had said, in an extremely loud tone

“Why is it so hard for you to give him a chance” Pauline chimed in

I stared at them. They were acting as if I had never told them that I don't want to be with him, as if that was not reason enough.

“I don't understand Keehara. He just told you how he felt, how much he cares and now you don't want him?” Sam shook her head as if I was someone who wasn't her best friend

I stared at Charlotte and Trinity for help, but their crossed arms indicated that they weren't happy with me either.

“I just don't want to be with him. You should know why since its all we ever talk about. Maybe if you just listened to my side for once, you would actually understand” I defended myself against my friends

“What do you expect from us? You are barely with us anymore, instead you're running behind Elle as if you're some lost puppy” Pauline snipped in

“You guys are insane.” But I knew she was right, deep down.

“Sure Keehara. You need to stop living in this fantasy world of yours. Things aren't always going to go your way. You can't just do this to people and move on.” Sam's words unleashed the tears I held in. For some reason I knew this was ending. I was losing them.

“If you think you crying is going to do anything, you're wrong. You can't cry all the time Keehara. It doesn't work.” Pauline goes on “We have tried to be there for you, but you never want us to be your friends. Do you expect therapists”

As I try to calm myself down, I look to my other quiet friends who just stood there. Not helping. Not defending. Agreeing

As Samantha and Pauline go on, I stand there. Have I really been such a bad friend? Am I such a horrible person?

My breaths get short and I start to feel dizzy.

“You guys win. Ill stay away from you all.” I walk away with them screaming at me. my feet carry me to the other side of the school yard. I find myself looking around with despair.

“Keehara?” Elle's voice calls out and soon her arms wrap around me, trying to take away the pain I am consumed with. Alexa's hand rubs my back as they try to understand what happened.

I manage to get a few words out to give them an explanation, but the words are stuck with the lump in my throat.

“Why am I not surprised” I hear Pauline say and I don't have it in me to say anything.

“I don't know what happened but you can see she isn’t okay. Maybe it would be best to talk when everything is calm??”Elle try's to divert them

They had none of it and started to attack Elle with their dislike towards her.

“If you want to hate me, go ahead. But I’m not going to stand here and entertain you when there is a someone who I care about. Unlike you, I know when a friend needs my help”

Elle and Alexa took me to an empty classroom for peace. I barely spoke to them as they tried to get my mind of everything. But how can I not think about it? I just lost my friends. I don’t understand what just happened yet my tears can't stop falling.

When I got into my mother's car, I broke down. Sobbing until we got home. Sobbing in the shower. Sobbing while my mother held me and gave me advice. Sobbing while my sisters cuddled me as they put on movies to soothe my soul. Sobbing while I realized change is happening and I'm not ready.