Metamorphosis

Chapter 18: Get me a hammer and some tissues

As the mountain peeked out of the clouds, I was in Awe of its massive structure. This is where my father was? This barely looks real; if anything, it looked like it was pulled out of a mythology book. Eros glided down the cave entrance.

As I slipped down off his back, I could feel the heat coming from the cave. It glowed with glossy oranges and yellows. An echo of avid hammering rocked the ground under my feet.

I couldn't get myself to move...

"Dove, I'm cloaking you now so that he won't see you, okay?"

"Yes," I say with a shaky voice. Eros gentle lays his hand on me.

"You can still back out of this."

I shook my head, "No, I want to see him," I said. Eros nods his head and leads me into the glowing cave. The hammering got louder the deeper we went, and soon we were right at the core of the mountain. A shadow of a man slamming down on a sword enveloped one of the walls. I stopped and stared as Eros continued forward.

"I hope you are working on making me a new Bow Hephaestus; the one you gave me has a dent in it," Eros says. The hammering stops, then an uproar of laughter comes from the shadow. 

"Eros! What a pleasant surprise, my boy. What do I owe the pleasure?" A man with a deep, rugged voice says.

I peek from behind the corner and see a muscular man with a beard and his arm around Eros.

"Actually, I did have some questions."

"Well? Gone on then." Hephaestus starts to hammer a glowing hot metal on an anvil.

Eros takes a moment, "I met Dove."

Hephaestus stops hammering and looks up at Eros, "How did you find her?" Hephaestus's voice was serious.

"Mother, she wanted me to kill her."

Hephaestus stood tall, and a worried look furrows his brow, "You didn't..."

"No. She's alive, Hephaestus, but I need to know who her mother is. Can you tell me?"

"Is that why you've come? To blackmail me?"

"No, Dove is safe, for now, but Phobos is after her, and you know Phobos as I do. He won't stop."

Hephaestus slams down his hammer, "Ares needs to get a hold of that boy..." he says, then he sighs. "I'm sorry, Eros, but I can't tell you. If they know where Dove is, then they will be watching her like a Hawk-" Hephaestus stops and narrows his eyes at Eros, " Your mother doesn't know you have her, does she?"

"No, she doesn't, and I'd like to keep it that way; for some reason, Phobos has not told Ares."

"Hm." Is all Hephaestus says. 

"Did you know that woman was pregnant with Dove?" Eros asks.

Hephatusus takes a heavy sigh, "Yes, but I knew It would be better if I stayed away. I did love her, but the best thing I could have done was never go to her again..."

I could feel my anger boil to the surface of my skin, and suddenly I was visible whether I wanted to be or not.

"Are you f*****g kidding me?" I said, letting my emotions take over. Eros and Hephatusus look over at me, shocked, "You know, I don't know which thing I'm mad at more. The fact that my birth mother was a hit it and quit it for you or that you just ran away with your tail between your legs."

Eros looked at Hephaestus, then me, and sidestepped away from him, leaving Hephaestus to my raging whirlpool of mixed feelings.

"You know I tried so hard to justify my real father leaving me, but I just can't, and maybe it's my anger that's blurring my perception," I started to say as my father looked back at me, " but not having you in my life, f****d me up." I couldn't help the burning behind my eyes, and I didn't want to cry in front of him, but, damn it, he was going to know how I felt. God or no God.

"I've had this hollowness inside of me that I've tried to fill unsuccessfully, and I just now realize that it's because I never had a male role model," A tear slides down my cheek, "You were supposed to be that to me, and you failed. You say you loved my mother, but yet you didn't have the guts to stand up for her, and now she's hidden away. Now I can't even find her, I thought meeting you would give me the slightest bit of closure for not having known my father my whole life, but now, I think I was better off not knowing how much of a coward you were."

My father sets down his hammer and stares at me, and for a while, he says nothing. My heart feels like it's going to burst at the seams, I wanted so badly for him to be the person I had imagined in my head, but I was sorely mistaken.

"I hear you, my child, and I don't blame you for hating me," Hephastusis says then looks to looks at Eros. "You never should have brought her here," he says under his breath to him, but I could hear him.

"I wanted him to, he told me I didn't have to, but it was my choice, so if you're going to blame anyone. Blame me."

Hephaestus looks at me with warmth in his eyes; he half-smiles, "You have the spirit of your mother."

His comment catches me off guard; here I was in a mountain, finally seeing my birth father, and all I want to do is cry...

I hadn't realized how damaged I felt and how much healing I needed until seeing him. And my mother, well, I had to find her, but all I had was this stupid gold rock. I pulled the stone out of my pocket.

"Do you know what this is?" I asked Hephaestus; his eyes widened, he took the stone from my hand.

"Your mother is a very clever woman; she knew you would want to find her." He said as he examined the golden stone. "She's left you a tracking stone; it will sense her presence even if it's just something she has touched." He gives the stone back to me.

I grab the note from my other pocket and place the stone on top of it; the stone starts to glow on the paper. I take it away, and it dims out. 

"Why didn't she just give me a damn cell phone?"

Eros chuckles behind me; I turn to him; his boyish smile makes my heart feel lighter. 

I sighed, "So, where do I go from here? How is this going to help me?" I ask Eros. He walks over to me and places his hand on mine.

"I think I have an idea," Eros says. As he starts to lead me toward the entrance again, he stops for a second, "Hephaestus?"

"Yes, boy?"

"Don't mention I was here," Eros says. Hephaestus goes back to hammering.

"I never do."

After we leave, Eros takes me back to his home. I felt mentally drained, and I was so disappointed to know my mother was just dropped like trash after she got pregnant with me. 

"How could someone do that to someone they love?" I asked more to myself than anyone else. Eros sat beside me on the garden bench. 

"I really couldn't say, because I will never understand it either..." Eros says. I look towards him realizing he was talking about what happened to him and his psyche.

"Oh-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring that up again-"

Eros starts to chuckle," Don't worry about it love, I've had time to heal from it but the scar is always there. But yours is a fresh one. I'm sorry that didn't go the way you wanted it to."

I don't know what was happening to me but everything I had been holding onto spilled out of me like a weepy toddler. I was sobbing so hard I could barely breathe. Eros' wings push me closer to him and he wraps his arms around me.

He said nothing yet it was everything I needed. I had to let it out and I had to let it go. I needed to feel it and acknowledge that it was there only then would I be able to help myself get better. So I sat there in Eros's arms and just poured my heart out onto his shirt.