Love Misunderstood

Chapter 2

After retrieving my borrowed Chemistry book, I returned to class. My teacher was not angry, but warned me to not take too long next time. Upon hearing the bell ring, I am relieved to know that class is done and that lunch is now. I have an English literature lesson after, which is one of my favorite subjects to take, I enjoy reading and I love to write poems trying to get my emotions down on a page.

As I continued through the lesson, my mind kept returning to Caden. He never talks to anyone and is often referred to as the “Outsider.” Girls are attracted to him, yet he does not show any interest in them. Many have tried to be the one to 'fix' him, none have succeeded so far.

I don't think he needs to be fixed, just someone there for him, that he can be himself with. It's obvious he is extremely handsome, and I believe he does not care about his appearance, which adds to his attractiveness. I have observed him and I notice he has bags under his eye, as though he had not slept the night before. He typically sits alone at lunch, with no food, and reads a book beneath the blossoming tree.

I never realised I had analysed him so much.

He is so interesting, I just want to know more, but the rumours kept me away. I heard he has been arrested, has many tattoos that aren’t visible to anyone as he has sleeves on all the time, beaten up his dad, and even murdered someone.

But who knows what’s true anymore unless the person tells you?

I walked to the canteen with my phone in my hand while reading a novel online about two people who never met in person who fell in love over the phone, met, and lived happily ever after. I like that they never met each other because it means they fell in love with each other’s souls.

I look up as I am about to walk into someone and pass them, as well as noticing a girl sitting at my regular table, and I walk up to her, my best friend Clara. She has brown hair and very bold hazel eyes. She has a very strong opinion and will tell you how it is. Some of the time it’s helpful; other times I want to hit her with a chair.

We met when we were fifteen, when I moved from another school to hers, and she saw me and how scared I was, and she said anxiety was totally normal, she has been there from when I passed my hardest art exam to when I had my first ever heart break.

"Hey, are you alright?” I ask as I sit down, noticing a troubled expression on her face.

“Yeah, fine, why?” I do not buy that response for a second.

Let me guess...

“The canteen is out of fries, isn’t it?” She looks at me in a shocked and annoyed way. “How did you-”

“- know what you were going to say?” I reply, cutting her off. “We have been friends for too long, you are so predictable.” She then went on to ramble for the next few minutes about how pissed she is that there aren’t any fries, or was it no hot guys? I don't really listen since I'm looking over her shoulder at a particular person I met this morning.

Caden looks bored out of his mind being in line for a drink; he shakes his head lightly, giving up, and starts to turn, but not before taking my gaze with him. Somehow, he already knew I was staring at him, but he caught my eye, and he didn’t react.

It was almost like we were having a staring contest to see who broke first. I kept staring at him like a secret was about to be revealed.

Caden was the first to break, shaking his head a little more and he turned and exited the door without looking back. He headed over to his usual spot, and he went on his phone without looking up.

Every now and then, while me and Clara are talking, I couldn’t help but let my vision wander to the outside, where Caden is sitting. He is so mysterious. A puzzle I want to piece together.

I turn to look at him again, and this time I almost s**t myself as i see he's already fixed his eyes on me. I hide my hair in front of my face to pretend I wasn’t looking at him. A few seconds later I look back and I swear I saw a ghost of a smile.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do anything other than be miserable or, as of today, be anxious.

The bell rings and everyone disperses from the hall, and I get my bag. I look back, and the tree doesn’t have anyone sitting under it.

Caden is gone.

I get a sense of disappointment wash over me. I think why I am so interested is because we are more alike when we are vulnerable, like a deer in the headlights.

It is now the end of class, and I am so happy it’s a Friday. That means I finish at three in the afternoon. It’s not early for others, but I’m just glad it isn’t four o’clock with everyone rushing out at the same time.

I get to the bus stop, and I'm waiting for the next one that comes in about five minutes. I scroll through my phone mindlessly, and I'm daydreaming too much I see that the bus is already here. I ask for an adult single and get in, I usually use my baby face as a way to get cheaper tickets for places however nothing gets passed the bus drivers.

I need to pick Brody up from school. It’s how it usually is: I pick him up, and mum takes him.

I look around the inside the beaten up vehicle and there is only one space left to sit, and it is for an elderly lady. Wearing pearls around her neck and a big fur coat, making sure her body is nice and warm. I take a seat and offer her a warm smile; she returns it.

Ten minutes later the bus approaches Brody’s school, and I get off and thank the driver. Walking up to his school, I am eyeing the area before waiting outside, where the parents usually are. It is clearly a very old building that looks like a small mansion. Someone must have lived in it at some point. The beaten-up walls are still somehow standing tall with ivy growing up the side of them; it’s rather beautiful.

I hear the children before I see them, and they come from the front of the school, and within two minutes all I hear is children laughing, screaming, and playing in the playground.

"Lala,” I say to a voice I knew too well, and the smile is automatic on my face. Brody runs up to me and pulls me down for a hug. “Hey buddy, what did you do at school today?”

He thought for a moment before giving a response. “Demicals and drawing”

I laugh at his misspelt pronunciation, and I say the word “decimals?” and he nods his head frantically. We start walking away to the exit and turn to the corner close to our house. As we are walking, Brody runs ahead, and I don’t understand how he still has energy. I wish I was like that, I run out of breath within five minutes.

We approach a shop we always pass and I already know what’s coming.

Three...two...one...

“Can I get sweets?”

I think back to how mad mum will be. We aren’t allowed too much sugar, eating something bad brings back bad thoughts but I don’t ever want Brody to go through it. However, it’s been a while, so I say yes to him but tell him not to tell her. He nods and puts his finger to his lips, signaling to be quiet. He has the most adorable puppy dog look. I’ve almost become immune, the keyword being almost. I shake out of my thoughts and we both head into the store.

We pay for the sweets and start back from where we left off and head home. We walk for another five minutes, and I see the house in my eye line. I unlock the door and step inside, and Brody bolts through the doorway and into the front room to watch some cartoons, I head into the kitchen to plug my phone in to charge.

My phone goes off alerting me I have a voicemail, I press play while I am getting a water bottle from the fridge.

"One new message: "Hey honey it's mum. I can’t come back until at least 8 p.m. They asked me to cover someone’s shift. Do you think you can manage to make dinner for Brody and get him to bed?"

I sigh. Why am I not surprised? We never see her anymore. We are lucky to even see her in the morning. It’s like I am raising Brody by myself. I swallow my disappointment and send a text back.

Me: Yes, that’s fine; I hope you get home soon.

I make the reply short and sweet, like me.

Our mother is an NHS nurse. She saves people’s lives, and she does an amazing job at it. But it would be nice if one day of the week we could see her when we got home.

I look at the clock, and it’s nearing five. I make dinner for both of us and eat around six. Halfway through the movie we are watching after dinner I see Brody yawn and it’s contagious so we both head to bed at the same time, as I’m exhausted myself.

I hear the front door open, I turn to my bedside table and tap on my phone get the time. I squint from the bright light in the darkness of my room and see its almost eleven. She was over an hour later than she was supposed to be. I feel myself sigh, and I feel sad that Brody doesn’t see our parents as much as I did when I was his age, however I am also a little relieved since it was just non stop arguments.

My bedroom door opens, and I hear footsteps approaching my bed. I think it’s mum coming to say good night, but instead I feel small hands on my arms, shaking me slightly. I open my eyes and see a little boy in front of me holding his small hand in front of his mouth.

“I can’t sleep.” His little voice behind his hands, a nervous tic I picked up on that he does.

I don’t say anything back. I just smile warmly at him and I see his eyes light up happily with the small light from the landing helping me see him. I scoot backwards in my bed and open the covers, inviting him in, and I wrap my arms around him holding Brody close. With his back to my front, he holds my arms around him. His body warmth invited me to cuddle with him.

“I love you, Lala,” He whispers.

“I love you too, buddy.”

We both fall asleep.