Sinful addiction

I shifted the weight of my duffel bag to my right shoulder, absent mindedly chewing on my gum when somebody pulled me into the music room. "What the f**k Noah?"I muttered in surprise as he pushed the door closed with his foot. "What happened to you? " Noah questioned inspecting my face. "Its nothing, " I shrugged it off choosing instead to pull my face away from his painfully heart stopping touch. It's so funny how even after all this time my body was always hyper sensitive of him. "It's nothing? Are you kidding me? You have a fresh cut on your forehead and you are telling me it's nothing?" he gritted his teeth and for just a single stroke of a second I wanted to believe he actually cared. "It's nothing, Okay? And stop pretending like you really give a s**t about what happens to me," He paused for a moment, shock resting on his goddamn sexy features just briefly. "You know what? You are right," With that he walked out of the room. God! What did I expect anyway? That he would turn around and hold me in him arms? That was so pathetic of me. I mean, I cheated on him, right? I let a small bitter laugh throwing back my head. After wrapping up my wound I walked out of the empty music room towards my first lecture, very much aware of the disgusting glances being thrown my way. I rolled my eyes strolling to my seat in the far end of the room, a passive expression planted on my face. I plugged in my earphones loosing myself to the music as the lecture drawled on. Later in the evening as luck would have it I had to run into Noah and his popular clique in the cafeteria. What were they even doing here? Don't they usually take their food in five star restaurants outside campus? I didn't exactly run into them but more like see them. For a moment I let my gaze fall on his face, to that panty dropping smile on his dimples cheeks right to those luscious lips- the lips I could hardly have enough of once. My stomach knotted when I saw his hand wrapped around some brunette's waist. Right. Stella. The girl he got himself right after dumping me. I squeezed my eyes shut briefly while making my way to the less populated part of the cafeteria. "Hey S, " I flinched at that raising my eyes to meet Gabriel's unmistakable smirk. "Gabriel, "I mumbled inaudibly. "Oh! So she does speak? I thought you destroyed your voice box considering how many d***s you take in that mouth of yours," snickers rent the entire cafeteria. I stole a glance at Noah hoping he would somehow stand up for me but just like the past three months, he had just sat there, a placid expression on his face. My fingers dug into my palms as I tried to calm my raging self down. "f**k you," I snapped. "Sorry honey but I would rather have something fresh," he made a quick disgusted look over on my body. I swallowed bitterly choosing to avoid his accusations. It's not like I haven't endured worse for a university sophomore. I refused to risk another glance at Noah. After all, what would he do? Gabriel was his best friend. After a while he grew tired of his jeering as he walked back to his seat, receiving a few patbacks from his friends. For a moment I held Noah's gaze, wishing I was nearer to swim in the ocean of sea green in his eyes. When he looked away, the emptiness coated with longing returned crippling me all over again . Later as I drove my old white Volvo into my apartment, I couldn't ignore the bittersweet churning in the depth of my stomach. There was poster stuck on my door, it's words nothing I have not heard before. Giving some tonight? I wouldn't mind you know. I pulled it off my door crumbling it under my fingers, anger surging through me. As I laid on my bed that night I couldn't help but wonder just how fate can f**k you over real bad. Just four months I was the much coveted sophomore dating Noah Campbell, the university's star quarterback. And here I am, the backstabbing b***h who cheated on her famous boyfriend. I blinked back the tears, reminding myself that I was so over the crying stage. But the worst part of my life was the fact that I longed to be back in Noah's arms more than anything in this world. I wanted to feel him breathing down on my face, the look of lust darkening in his eyes as he looked at me like am the only thing in the world. How can moving on be this hard? I sighed trying to block the pain clogging my chest, choosing instead to think about my studies. What was there to even think about in studies? Just the boring stuff the lecturer drones on about. The only reason I even attended those classes was mostly to please my parents. My chest constricted immediately at the thought of my parents. I had come back to school so that Noah could help me move on from my parents death but I had f****d over big time instead. God! Noah, would he really ever forgive me? If only he knew how much I craved his forgiveness. I would do anything just to get back with him even if it means me killing myself just to get him to accept me back into his life. Life could really be cruel most of the time. I glanced at the watch ticking away on the wall. It was one in the morning and still I couldn't get one single f*****g ounce of sleep. I stepped off the bed picking my car keys and a liquor bottle I had stashed away in my barely kept closet. After putting on my black knee length jacket, I locked the door turning to my Volvo.