I am the Light - His last Redemption (Book 2)

Chapter 13 - Hurt

The sound of water flowing always has a calming effect on me. It’s like a soothing lullaby a mother sings to her child. I feel tired from listening to Callie explain to me how water can be a violent force and how I can use it to protect myself and my family. She basically explained how to turn it into a weapon.

It’s hard to do that kind of magic. Defensive magic is harder than any other kind. Manipulating water to heal someone comes easy to me. It’s exhausting because it takes up a lot of energy, but fighting and aiming to hurt someone is the exact opposite of my hidden talent. That’s why it’s so much harder for me to do.

“What’s on your mind, Mika?” Callie asks, sitting down in the growing grass.

“I’m just worried about... everything. Cillian said something I can’t shake.”

“What did he say?” Callie asks curiously as she loosens the knot of hair on her head and lets her red dreadlocks fall down her back.

“About the Goddess,” I say hesitantly, “my grandmother tapped her powers inside my body, right? I had to sacrifice a part of myself to free her. It was supposed to fix the supernatural world, but it doesn’t feel that way. Things aren’t better, are they?”

“Well, witches got their powers back and wolves have females again.”

“Yet their city is in distress. Packs are falling apart and evil is rising everywhere. Isn’t she supposed to protect us? Isn’t that why I sacrificed myself? Why does it feel so-,” I hesitate, “-pointless.”

Callie takes a deep breath, “sometimes things don’t seem like they make much sense, but it might fall into place with time.”

“By getting worse first?”

“There’s always a reason,” she says.

“It’s very hard to believe that. Why let all these bad things happen, when she can prevent them? Why isn’t she stopping the dark from growing stronger?”

“Remember how I told you that light and dark are in all of us? That it’s about a choice we make?”

“Yes?!” I say hesitantly, wondering what that has to do with anything.

“The Goddess was gone for more than twenty years. The world has changed a lot in that time. Darkness grew in places she didn’t expect it to,” Callie explains, “she was limited to your abilities. She couldn’t predict the future and I don’t think she anticipated any of this. But I still believe that where there’s dark, there will always be a light.”

“I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I just… I can feel the dark, Callie. I can feel it getting stronger.”

“We all feel it,” she sighs, “it is strong, but there’s hope. There is always hope!” she says and starts rising, “light and dark are not two opposites. They are different, yet the same.”

“That makes no sense at all,” I sigh and shake my head, “and it still doesn’t explain why the Goddess lets the dark win.”

“It’s not winning. It’s just… A little stronger. Imagine it like a scale,” she says holding both her hands at one level. “This is how it's supposed to be, but things have tipped,” she rises her left hand a little higher. “Sometimes it doesn’t take much to tip the scale, but one way or another it’ll find its balance again. Maybe,” she lifts her gaze to something only she can see in the distance, “it just needs a little faith.”

I thought I had it, but what if I am slowly, but surely losing it? What if there are just too many unanswered questions to just rely on faith alone?

“Are you coming?” she asks, holding out her hand to help me up from the green grass.

“Do you mind if I stay a moment longer?”

She smiles at me and nods, “I’ll let Logan know to come to pick you up in a bit. I don’t want you wandering through the woods on your own.”

“But you can?”

Callie laughs and shrugs a little, “I enjoy a little time by myself as well.”

“Sure,” I chuckle and let her go. I know that she’s not really worried about me being out here alone. It’s hours till the sun sets and I plan on being home long before that happens. I just need a moment alone. I need to clear my head.

I always wanted to know where I came from and who I was before I lost my memories, but now that I knew what happened I’m not so sure it’s enough. It doesn’t feel like it has been my life. It just feels like a story I’ve been told. Even though I feel a connection to both Cillian and Logan, I don’t remember them. I don’t remember what we’ve been through and that bothers me more than being completely oblivious to my previous life.

With a heavy sigh, I get up and walk over to the silent lake, dipping my feet into the cold water. Callie and I had chosen to practice with still waters, so I can concentrate on what I am supposed to do, instead of following the flow and the hum of a coursing river.

It can be distracting sometimes. Water does have its little quirks. It can be playful and even though it allows you to manipulate it with your magic, it still has a mind of its own. So, the more alive the water, the harder it is to get clean results.

All the elements are a little mischievous. Fire is wild, the wind is cheeky, water is curious and earth seems to be the calmest element out of the four.

I lean down to watch my reflection on the surface and a playful ripple disturbs it. I smile as I take a step further into the clear lake. The colors of the blooming forest reflected on the surface, creating a beautiful color of blue and green.

A few beams of sunlight glitter through the growing treetops, creating a beautiful golden hue. Funny how a place can look so peaceful. So serene. But within seconds it can turn into a violent, cruel place.

The sound of birds fleeing from the trees has me looking up. The sudden rush of noise disturbed the quiet. It’s the sound that always announces danger.

I instinctively dip my hands into the water and curl them into fists. The tension of the surface is as tight as my body, as I listen for something large getting closer. Slow and… clumsy. Usually, predators are either very fast or very quiet. This one is… hurt.

My eyes go wide as a huge shadow stumbles out of the woods. It seems that the wolf is barely able to keep on his legs. I watch the enormous black wolf, too stunned to move.

He lifts his head and sniffs the air. A second later his head snaps in my direction, and he almost loses balance. But not before his golden eyes lock with mine and a sense of relief washes over me. Without ever having seen him I know that this wolf is the Nightshadow.

“You found me,” I whisper. I expected my voice to shake with fear, but it doesn’t. Something inside my chest melts the fear away as the wolf keeps staring at me. I can hear the soft growl coming from him. It’s more of a frustrated sound than an angry one.

It’s hard to explain, but as I stare at him, I can feel the ache in my heart. I can feel the pull. The bond that once tied our souls together. I exhale slowly and take a step closer. But there’s an entire lake between us.

The wolf whimpers and sinks to the ground to lie down. His eyes stay focused on me. Why isn’t he coming closer?

He slowly turns his head to the side, sniffing again and this time his growl is aggressive. He stands up, but his legs give away and he falls again. He is hurt and I think it’s bad.

My heart starts beating faster, panic rising. I need to get to him. I need to help him. Again. I don’t know why, but this feels vaguely familiar. I have saved him before. From a trap. He’s not trapped this time, but he still needs my help.

I turn around to get out of the water, from the other side of the lake I hear another growl, but instead of running from it, I am running towards it.

I probably should think things like that through before acting, but if he’s hurt, he needs me, right? So, I run until I drop to my knees in front of that enormous black wolf.

“You’re hurt!” I whisper, but he just keeps staring at me as if he’s not entirely sure what to make of me. I can see an entire world of emotions glimmering in those golden specks of his. He’s beautiful. Probably scary too, but that’s not what I’m seeing.

He huffs at me, but I’m not sure what that means. “I... I can’t understand you,” I sigh. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I am aware that this wolf could be anyone. Just a random werewolf that got lost in these woods, but I know better. I know in my heart and soul that this one is my mate. That he belongs to me, and I belong to him.

I hear the snapping of bone and I watch as the black fur retreats into his skin and the wolf transform into a man. A man who barely manages to keep himself up on all forth. His skin is bloody and marked by scars. I don’t know if it has always been this way, but he looks like he has been through hell. I can’t stop the small gasp from escaping my lips as he struggles to lift his hand to reach out for me.

“Mika?” his voice breaks and the pain and the longing in it, shatters my heart. I take his hand and help him guide it to my cheek.

“I’m here,” I tell him, my eyes filled with tears, mirroring his own. He looks so vulnerable and broken at this moment that I cannot imagine him as a ruthless killer. This is not the Nightshadow, this is Nathaniel, and he is my mate.

He lets go of an agitated breath, “you’re... alive,” he breathes weakly before his body collapses on the ground.

“No! You need to stay awake!” I shake his shoulder, but he’s not moving. Without thinking I turn towards the water and pull with all my strength, getting it to him, so I can heal him. Minimize the damage done to his body. I don’t know how long he’s been running around like this, but it seems that not even his injuries would have stopped him from getting to me. To me and River.

“Don’t take him away from me,” I mutter, while I frantically work my magic, “don’t you dare take him away!” I hiss at the Goddess or whoever is listening. Maybe I am talking to Death himself. I don’t care, as long as he or she listens.

“Mika?” I hear Logan call out my name from the distance, “where are you?”

“I’m here!” I yell, “please, Logan, I need your help! He’s here and he’s hurt,” I lower my voice, “he’s hurt badly,” I add in a whisper, as my tears mix with the water that is supposed to heal him, but it doesn’t seem to be working.

Why isn’t he healing?