Lost in You (#Book 2)

Chapter 19

I’m sitting on the edge, next to the plane door… Austin is behind me, we’re attached together with a sturdy security harness. He turns the headset with which we are supposed to communicate, on. I have zero control over my emotions. It’s a subtle mix of adrenaline, absolute pleasure, stress, anxiety and pressure.

“Everything will be fine, I promise.” Hearing his voice directly in my ear makes me feel good. I’ll count to three and we’ll go. Is that okay with you?”

“One…” Here I am, legs hanging above 10,000 feet of void, and I feel good thanks to you, your chest that I can feel behind me, and your breath in my neck.

“Two…” Even parachuting can’t make my head spin or make me feel like you do.

“Three.” I barely have time to hear that syllable, that we’re already falling. My lungs are compressed in a fraction of a second. I can’t fill them with air. I’d like to yell, but I can’t I close my eyes.

It takes me a few seconds to stabilize myself. Austin’s words soothe me and give me confidence. This feeling of absolute freedom, of falling, of dizziness and ecstasy, nestled in Austin’s body, have an effect on me.

Our bodies are glued together, speeding at 200 km/hr. it feels as though we’re one, which is what I feel during passionate embraces. But when Austin opens the parachute, I feel like my stomach is going to come out my mouth! “Open your eyes!”

I do as I’m told. The view is breathtaking. I’ve never seen anything this gorgeous! The colors, the triangle of land advancing into the ocean… It’s spectacular! I have a hard time believing what I see. We’re flying above the Hamptons, following the delicate movement of the parachute. It’s fantastic!

Flying is indescribable, and the freedom I feel is intense. Up in the air, Austin against me… it’s ecstasy! The rush of adrenaline, and the considerable joy that overwhelm me makes me want to scream to the world how beautiful life is!

I want to scream to everyone on this planet that I love Austin William! That happiness does exist! Following the wind, attached to our parachute, we’re so little and yet so big… I feel oddly fulfilled. My fears and painful memories seemed to have stayed up there, somewhere in the sky.

“So, what do you think?”

“There are no words to describe it. It’s so beautiful!”

“I told you to trust me.” I can feel Austin’s hot breath in my hair. It’s a unique feeling to be flying attached to the man you love. In fact, everything about this makes me think of us. “You see that town over there? It’s Southampton…”

It’s fantastic and funny to see. From up here, the biggest city on the peninsula isn’t bigger than a coin. “It’s so tiny when you’re up here!” this jump magically helped me evacuate my doubts. Up in the air, legs hanging, attached to one another, I feel like nothing can happen to us. No one can reach us.

I’m well aware that this feeling will fade away when we are back on firm ground, but my god, does it feel good! I turn my head around, to look at Austin. He’s smiling and concentrated. He’s gorgeous, surrounded by the big blue sky. From this angle, my boyfriend looks like an angel.

“Thank you Austin… This is extraordinary…”

“I knew you’d like it.”

That smile! The kind that makes you swoon! “I love you, and I’ve never been this happy…” I declared.

“And you haven’t seen everything yet! Close your eyes…”

I send him a kiss and turn my head around. As I close my eyes. I can feel Austin fooling around with the parachute, making us go right, then left, delicately, and then a little more harshly. Swinging around in the air like that feels like I’m in his arms. He does what he wants with me, he knows perfectly well how to make my body quiver.

Our skins don’t touch each other, and yet I have a very particular pleasure. The sensation is exceptional… I could stay here all my life, it’s so great!

I let my body swing according to the turns Austin makes the parachute take. His movements are so well timed that I have the feeling he’s reading my mind. To the right, sharply. To the left slowly… And then, a little bit of hovering.

I barely have time to catch my breath when Austin starts again. A sharp thrust to the left, a gentle turn to the right… I never thought parachute jumping could be so sensual. With my eyes closed, I picture myself naked against Austin. The flight movements back and forth have the same effect on me as our hugs on the ground. I understand better what he meant earlier.

“You’re driving me crazy Austin William…”

“Patience, it’s just foreplay…”

This floating from the parachute is a dream I never want to wake up from.

***

The problem is not the falling, it’s the landing. I tasted an unequaled adrenaline rush, and now I’m disoriented. After landing, it takes me a while to recover my senses. Austin hugs me tenderly. My tears flow in spite of myself, I’m unable to hold them back.

The emotional overload… And then his cell phone rings. Austin has to pick up. He walks away to answer, but I can still hear him speak… “You’re right, Miss Brown.”

I have just lived the most magical moment of my life, and now, barely landed, real life is starting again. I preferred us alone in the world, on top of it all, flying above our obligations. We haven’t talked about us enough. Austin gave us one of those moments when words are no longer relevant.

And now he’s far away, the phone stuck to his ear and a smile on his face. I don’t know what to think. What future do we have? We’re so different, despite our similarities. Austin puts the phone in his jacket and comes towards me. This aura he has, it’s amazing. I feel tiny next to him.

His bright, piercing eyes have inexhaustible depth. Holding his gaze is like throwing yourself into the void, like just before. “Still stirred up?”

“I’ve never felt like this before. It’s… awesome!”

“I’m so glad you liked it, I was sure you would.”

It’s funny, we’re talking about parachuting, but it feels like we’re really talking about us! Take the plunge, soar up in the world, experience strong and contradictory emotions. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

With his lynx-like eyes he must have noticed that the parachute jump had made me cry. He comes a little closer and puts his thumb on my cheek and then on my eyelids. “I’ve never felt better in my life. When do we do this again?” I assure him.

“I have something else in mind for us.” Austin kisses my lips and gently pulls me by the arm to return to the car. Given the tension that we are under, I’m sure I know what he has in mind. But I prefer not to dwell on it.

“Have you been parachuting for a while?” Actually the questions is more like, did you bring your previous girlfriends here to experience the big thrill?

We sit next to each other in the passenger compartment. He takes my fingers between his and places a kiss on the back of my hand. “Apart from Andrea, I’ve never taken anyone else on a tandem jump before.”

As is often the case, Austin sweeps away my doubts before I even formulate them. I feel sorry for letting myself be carried away so quickly by jealousy…

Austin is back at the wheel with marked happiness. How does he always look so serene? Every time he turns his eyes away from me, or we’re no longer brushing up against each other, my doubts resurface. Parachute jumping seems natural to me now: you launch yourself, and then you land.

Life with Austin is more complex. I launch myself into it, but I don’t really know where I’m going to land. In the end, the equivalent in our relationship may not have been perfect… Austin’s phone ringing interrupts my thoughts. “It’s Mark. I have to answer.”

I take this opportunity to text Greta who moved to another city as she got promoted and was relocated elsewhere. But we do text and share the gory details of our life from time to time.

Hello, sweetie. I had a crazy day, I skydived with Austin!

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t see we were at the airport. We ascended the plane and Austin continued his important conversation because his private jet still has the special reception and one can call from here. He puts his phone down, “I hate taking calls when I’m with you.”

“Yes I understand, you cannot withdraw. Maybe you have some secret you have from me.”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he smirks.

“What are you up to now?”

“You’ll see…”

We landed in Miami and now were heading home in his Aston Martin. “Oh, but you won’t get away with it! You’ve said too much or not enough.” I said gently slapping his shoulder.

Austin gives me a genuine smile. These mysteries make I’m super sexy, I have to admit. “Don’t be in such a hurry, you curious little thing. You won’t be able to get me to spill the beans if I don’t want to.”

The worst part is that he’s right. I feel like a fly caught in a spider web. The more I struggle, the more he has me. “However, what you don’t master as well is the road map! This is not the way home at all. Do you want me to give you a GPS?”

All of a sudden Austin parks on the side of the road and waves to a valet who is waiting in front of a fabulous building “We have arrived.”

I frown as if I were trying to scan his expression. “What did you buy us this time? A hotel? A rock band? You know we’re not allowed to buy people, right?”

The valet opens the door for me and invites me into the lobby. Austin presents me his elbow, and I grab his arm laughing at my nonsense. “If the young lady will be so kind…” I walk beside him, totally perplexed… what is he planning to do.