Tangled in Notes

Chapter Thirty-Three

Today, I asked Armin to come with me back home. I wanted to spend my Sunday with Jae Hyun and of course, my aunt and uncle. I bought groceries and some clothes for Jae Hyun.

We drove there for less than an hour. I knocked on the door and Aunt Sue looked surprised to see me. The house didn’t change. Only the white wall paint became whiter. I smiled and hugged her. “Aunt Sue.” I mumbled.

She hugged me back. “I didn’t know you would come. I should have cooked something for you, Julia dear.”

“I bought these for you.” I smiled pointing at the bag Armin offered to carry.

“It’s nice to see you again, Mrs. Garrick.” He said with a wide smile.

Aunt smiled at Armin. “You can drop those off in the kitchen counter, Armin dear.”

Armin obeyed and walked inside heading to t kitchen.

“How have you been, auntie? I missed you all so much.” I smiled holding her hands. I longed for her touch. Ever since mom and dad died, I relied on her and she was the only one who made me feel loved.

“We’re doing great, dear.” She answered grabbing a strand of my hair near my ear. “You don’t need to be so worried about us, worry about yourself.”

I smiled and Armin came back with a free hand.

“Julia!” I looked at the back and saw Jaimee running towards my direction. I sat down and she jumped into my chest for a hug. I hugged her tight. “I missed you so much.” I mumbled.

“I missed you too!” she exclaimed and I stood back up. She looked startled to see Armin next to me. I turned to Armin then back to her.

“Aren’t you going to greet, Min?” I asked her and she looks down. Now she’s acting shy and all. I giggled at her sudden action.

I turned to Armin and he went down to level with her. “Hey Jaimee. It’s been a long time since I saw you.” He flashed his charming smile. He pricked her nose.

I was shocked when Jae Hyun suddenly kissed him in the cheeks. “I missed you…” She said silently and ran back inside.

Armin just smiled and stood turning to me. “I can’t believe I got my first kiss from a kid though.” He smirked and I chuckled.

“I told you she liked you.”

He smirked. “At least she’s got some taste.” He playfully winked.

“Come on in dear. I’ll cook something. Your uncle will be back for lunch.” Aunt lets us in and I stepped inside. Armin knew our house so he wasn’t new here. We both sat down in the living room waiting for Aunt Sue.

I was surprised when my phone vibrated the moment Armin’s phone rang. We looked at each other with a chuckle. I reached out for mine and saw a message from Sed.

Sed

Guuuuuuuuuys! Lets meet in the house later- 5. Were having a sleepover! ALL OF US! NO ONE’S GOING HOME. Yez, am talking about u Jiyoon ;P Swag out

Armin laughed. “Special mention.”

I turned to him with a frown. “Well, that was embarrassing. I guess he sent that to all members of the club.”

“Nah. Just the board.” He smirked. “We wouldn’t let club members enter the house.”

Aunt Sue came back with two glasses of orange juices and her special spaghetti. I clapped in excitement. Just then, Jaimee ran towards Armin and sits over his lap.

Armin carried her without any complain. He just smiled and started feeding her his – supposed to be – spaghetti. Aunt Sue chuckled. “Wait here, Jaimee. I’ll get you one. Don’t eat Armin’s.” Auntie stood and headed towards the kitchen.

Jaimee looked happy at least. She gets to see him once in a blue moon so I guess I can’t really take her moment away from her. I chuckled watching the two.

“What?” Armin spoke. “You jealous of your sister?” He smirked.

I raised a brow. “Not even a pinky, Mr. Zeiger.” I rolled my eyes lightly showing him my pinky.

“Aw. Come on. I’ll feed you too. Don’t be jealous now, Julia.” He chuckled raising a fork towards me.

I crouched back. “Are you serious?”

He chuckled.

“Min!” Jaimee exclaimed and our attention turned to her. “Is my sister dating someone? In yours school?”

He chuckled pinching her cheeks. “Nope. But she’s been courted by a lot of guys in there.”

She puts her pointer in her chin and pretended to be surprised. “Really?! She’s popular in yours school then?”

“You bet she is.” He answered giving me a teasing glare.

I frowned. I brought my phone out and decided to send the midget a message.

Jared, g.m

Youre coming to the sleepover right? Right? Right? Right?

I sighed and sent the message. I wanted to help Sean. I wanted to help him bring the old him. I just hope he’d come. It would be a great adjustment; a sign that he’s finally going back.

After we finished our food, I gave Aunt Sue my present to her, Jaimee and uncle – who just got home a half hour ago. She stood to place the plates in the kitchen. “I’ll go help auntie.” I said excusing myself from Armin.

He nodded as I stood walking towards our old kitchen. “Au—” I stopped when I saw her almost losing her balance. She was touching her head and I remained frozen.

I ran to her and grabbed her arm. “Aunt Sue, are you okay?” I asked and she moved away from me.

She smiled weakly. “O-Oh. Yes dear. I’m fine.”

“I’ll do the dishes, Auntie.” I said still staring at her worriedly.

“Thank you, dear.”

“What’s up with you?” Armin asked. Now, we were back in his car and we were heading towards the school – for the sleepover. I wouldn’t go if it wasn’t a request from Sed.

Then I remembered. My brows creased. What was wrong with Aunt Sue? She seemed weak a while ago. Could it be that she’s also— “Ahh. That can’t be…” I shook my head whispering to myself.

“Hey!” he exclaimed. “You’re freaking me out that I want to throw you out the window.”

I turned to Armin. “It’s nothing. I just felt something weird a while ago.”

“Yeah. Your sister was weird. I think she’s even more mature than you.” He laughed. I grabbed the little doll that was hanged in the glass and threw it to him.

We reached the school grounds around 4:30 and we immediately saw the members of the board inside. Sed, who called for everyone was obviously excited. “Julia!” Sean yelled waving at me.

I smiled.

I scanned the room and I couldn’t see Jared around. I frowned. So he doesn’t participate at all. I looked down sadly. “Hey,” I looked up and saw Joshua with a smile.

“Hey, Joshua.” I smiled.

“It’s nice to know that you came. I thought you wouldn’t.”

I chuckled. “Of course I would. It was from Sed after all.” I added and he chuckled back.

“Do you want to sit together?” he suddenly asked.

I nodded. “Y-Yeah. Su—”

“Julia!” I turned and saw Sean. “Let’s sit together!” he started pulling me away from Joshua as I mouthed him ‘sorry’. “This will be fun.” He mumbled and I chuckled. He was really childish.

When everyone arrived – except Jared – Sed gathered everyone in the living room and we formed a circle. I could see Armin with William and Alder. I guess they were close. I was next to Sean and Kevin

“Okay, so—”

We all turned our heads when the door went open. Jared stood awkwardly as he started walking towards Sed. He sat down the floor next to him and everyone was in great awe.

I smiled at the sight of him.

I was surprised when someone continuously poked my arms. I turned to my right and saw Sean wiggling his eye brows at me. I rolled my eyes lightly shaking my head and he chuckled.

Jared was wearing a blue sweater and his hair was tied again.

“A-As I was saying,” Sed continued. “We’re going to do an open forum. So starting now, you can say anything that’s been bothering you.”

Everyone started saying stories and feelings and it was a great idea. I learned so much from the other members of the board. It was a chance for Jared to open up. “Julia?” Sed turned to me.

“W-Well,” I froze and all of their eyes averted to me. “When my dad died, I was really miserable. I couldn’t eat anything or do anything.” I could see Armin nod. “I told him a promise I’m still trying to achieve. I told him I’d make him a song and I’d sing it for him on stage. Although I haven’t kept that promise, I’m still hoping that that person would still help me. Help me keep my promise.”

“That’s really emotional.”

“Aw.”

“You can do it, Julia.”

“I’m sure you can do an amazing song. Right, Jared?” Sed suddenly turned to him.

“O-Oh…” he stammered and looked down. “Sure…”

Sean smiled and patted my back. Sean told us about how difficult it has been for him to choreograph. He said he ran out of ideas but he still tries hard even if he’s already hurt. He told us he injured his hand recently and true enough, there was a bluish violet bump in his hand.

“I want to take this opportunity to say things I wanted to say to Jared.” Sed started. “I’m upset about Jared these days. Lately, he’s been very busy, on-tight schedule and has so many things to care of, that if someone’s thought don’t match up with his – he becomes aggressive.

“So these days, I noticed everyone was feeling the same way and that I found everyone being careful in what they say and do to him. We have been together the longest, we were here before everyone was here,” everyone nodded. “So I thought he would know what I’m thinking about without me even saying it but the problem has become larger as time passes by.

“Not only to me, but also the other members. He’s been really distant. He locks himself in his studio. He seldom takes jokes. He doesn’t laugh. He’s gotten more serious day by day.”

I turned to look at Jared. He was looking down playing with his handkerchief. Jared.

“But as of now, I’m still confident that things will go back.”

Oh no. I gulped hard when he suddenly stood and stormed out of the room. Everyone was in silence. I stood and made my way out of the house. Where could he be? I asked myself and ran to the other side to where the cabin is located.

I was right when I found him sitting over the edge of the cabin – where I first saw him. I stepped closer to him and I could see crystal tears go down from his eyes. I sat down next to him and I was facing him.

He looked up to me and his eyes were blood-shot red. I stared at him and smiled. “What are you doing here?” his voice told me his nose was blocked.

“Y-You didn’t have to hear that.”

“Go away.” He said wiping his tears away.

“Jared, I know you’re hurt but please don’t keep that to yourself.”

For a moment, he just stared at me as tears continued to fall from his eyes. I wanted to cry as well. I leaned closer to him and pulled him for a hug. I could feel his tears in my shoulders.

When I pulled him away from me, he spoke, still voice shaking. “They don’t understand.” His tears fell. “They don’t know how I feel.” He was violently punching his chest as he pertained to himself. “I have to write all the songs,” he was looking down. His nose was turned red already. “—each song without anyone noticing the situation.” He sniffed. “I feel so—” More tears fell from his eyes and he looks up sniffing.

My eyes were getting stingy. I planted my hands over his hands and they were cold.

“It feels like I’m the one who’ll determine all 13 members’ future.” He paused shaking his head. “I just feel so tired. It’s hard.” His voice pitch increased. “They don’t know how hard it is for me to be busy all the time because I’m always planning on how to catch the attention of the CEO and make us debut.”

I squeezed his hands in comfort.

“But I couldn’t tell that to the other members. We’re so close that I couldn’t bring myself to tell them. I was afraid I’d ruin their future, I was afraid I’d discourage them.

“In my head… what will I do if we can’t debut? What if the CEO won’t let us have the showcase? What will I do if the songs I make don’t sound nice? We’ve been together for years and they seem so relaxed and it appears to me that I’m the only one who’s pressured. There were so – so many times I wanted to give up but who will lead the team if not for me? Who will make the songs? Who will help them with their dreams? It’s just so hard for me tell them.”

He cried more shaking his head.

I lifted my hands and pressed my thumb over his temporal ridge. “Go away bad thoughts. Leave him alone and replace them with happy ones. Go away bad thoughts. Leave him alone and replace them with—”

He suddenly slapped my hands away from his head.

I blinked in shock but I understood why.

“What are you doing?”

“Just… Something… from dad…” I replied.

Now I understand. It was certainly a game he didn’t like yet a game I should thank for. I smiled once again and stared at him shredding tears in front of me for the first time as snow started going down.