Tangled in Notes

Chapter Thirty-One

I was frozen. Jared? “I’ll be there in a bit.” I ended the call and stood from my seat suddenly feeling all worried and anxious to see him. It horrified me to think that something bad has happened to him.

I stopped and realized I was with Joshua – and on top of that, I didn’t know why I was acting this way towards him. I faced Joshua who was wearing such bitter smile and I felt a lot of guilt run down me – more guilt than I could ever imagine. I bit my lip. He smiled and gave me a light nod. “Go.”

“I’m really sorry.”

He smiled. “Let’s do it again next time.” I was about to go when he stopped me. He removed his jacket and handed them to me. “I heard it started snowing outside. Use this.”

I smiled and grabbed it from him. “Thank you.” I smiled weakly. “I’m really really sorry, Joshua. I’ll really make it up to you. I promise.” I stepped back and ran out of the mall thinking it was rude of me to say promise when I feel I couldn’t keep it anyway. I hastened to grab a cab from the street and directed back to the school.

When I reached the campus, I ran to the cudgel house – and just wow, the place got covered with snow really fast – I entered and saw Soon Young waiting for me inside. “Julia!” he exclaimed and started walking fast. “Faster, it’s really cold.”

I followed from behind without a word. We ran to the bedrooms of the board and reached the very end door. He opened the white polished door and there revealed Jared laying down the bed. The other staffs were there as well but not completely.

“Julia!” Sed exclaimed from a side.

Because I was too worried, I ignore the others’ word and ran to Jared. I stared at his fair face. I slowly held his arms and he was ice cold, he was shaking; shivering; his lips were trembling grey. I looked at him and he was hugging himself.

“What happened?” I asked finally turning to Sean for an answer.

“We don’t really know what’s happening to him right now but when he was sleeping he was saying your name so we thought it could be...” He answered.

“W— it could’ve been something else but you were the first person that came to our mind.” Alder added.

Why would he be saying my name in his unconscious self? I stood and went to where his head was laid off. I planted my palms over his forehead and he was burning. There was a sudden rush of electricity in my blood, it may be because of how hot he was right now but it could be something else.

“He actually told me he was going somewhere a while ago. I don’t really know where but he was in a hurry.” Kevin said. “I told him it was reported that it might snow today but he still ran out without any sweater.”

“Jaeho found him near the cabin a little while ago. Good thing he had left something there or he could’ve froze to death.”

That’s when it hit me.

Meet me near the cabin right now. Need to tell you something important.

-red

I sighed. “I didn’t think you would still be there.” I whispered. I stared at his skinny face in guilt. This day gave me so much guilt, and it feels so wrong.

His rosy cheeks told me that he felt absolutely cold inside. He kept shaking and he looked like he had been poured with ice. He was wearing shorts and a white shirt. “Why didn’t you guys make him change?” I asked the boys lined up in a corner.

“We didn’t know we had to change his clothes, though.” Sean replied.

I sighed.

“Julia…” I stood facing Kevin. “What will we do? What’s happening to him?”

“Apparently she’s not a doctor, Kev.” Sed said.

“I know. But maybe if his heart gets warmer…”

We glared at him as I shook my head. It wasn’t a time to make some jokes, and I clearly wasn’t in the mood to hear from Kevin. I might get pissed because of how tensed I am, how angry I am at myself. I looked down to Jared. “I’m not sure. But I think he’s having some chills.” I answered and he pouted in disappointment.

“Is it something serious though?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so. My dad used to give me hot packs whenever I had one.”

“See. I told you Ji Yoon could help us!” Sed exclaimed.

“Apparently, she’s not a doctor, Sed.” Kevin jokingly uttered. I didn’t know what happened behind me but it was silent.

“Sed….”

Everyone turned to me.

“What are you guys still doing here then?” I asked them.

“We were all working for a show so we, leaders, stayed here for the night to finish everything but unfortunately, Jared got like this.” Sean replied. “Kevin only came because I thought he could help.” He glared at him. “Sadly, he wasn’t.”

“Hey, Sean. At least, I came here. That’s all that matters.” He answered.

Sean chuckled. “Yeah. Okay. Whatever.” He raised his right hand to shut him up.

“We’ll leave him to you then, Julia.” Sed blurted.

Before I could even protest, they started walking away. “W-Wait. Why me?” I asked and Sean smirked.

“Bye, Julia! Thank you so much for the favor. Have a good night!” he winked and left the room. I froze and did not make a move. Somehow, it made me blush now that I was alone in the room with him. I sighed and turned to Jared who was still shivering.

I frowned burying my face down my palms in frustration. I walked out of his room, to the kitchen and scanned for anything for him to eat. I spotted noodles in their drawers so I hurriedly cooked them.

After a few minutes, I turned the stove off, and returned to his room with a bowl of noodles as it released hot steam. When I got there, his eyes were still closed. I dropped the bowl in his side desk and ran to his wardrobe. Pictures were pasted inside the cabinet doors’ opposite side. They were pictures of him and the other boys.

I did not take long at looking at the pictures as they were already obvious. I grabbed a t-shirt of him and it was another white t-shirt that said ‘Chromatic’. I closed his wardrobe and went to the bathroom to go get some warm water to wash him off.

I gulped hard as I washed the towel that was in his side desk. I carefully ran the towel over his arms and legs – obviously, I didn’t really know what I was trying to do – either way, he was still shaking. I wiped his face softly. I didn’t want to wake him up so I need to do this quietly and extra careful or he might just growl at me for invading his privacy.

I stood to wash the towel once again. When I turned back to him, his eyes were already half open. Well, I don’t really know since his eyes were small. I froze for a moment. His lips were parted when he was looking at me.

I almost dropped the towel so I moved towards him and washed his face. I wasn’t looking into his eyes because I knew I’d only get scared and nervous and it’ll make me stop doing whatever I’m doing to this grumpy midget.

After I had washed him, I stood and handed him the shirt I have picked randomly from his cabinet. “Change your clothes, they’re covered with snow.”

I stood and left his room. I closed the door and waited for a few moments before I knocked. “Are you done?”

No one answered.

“Jared.” I paused. “A-Are you done?”

Still, no one answered.

I opened the door slowly and he was already done. Thank God – I sighed in relief – I wouldn’t know what to do if I entered the moment he was lifting his shirt off. He was just looking up like a lifeless death-bed man. I stepped inside and walked towards him. I held his back and lifted him up to lean against the wall.

I grabbed the bowl of noodles from his side table and started scooping some soup.

I didn’t know if I should blow the soup or what so I just brought it up near his mouth. He stared at me. “Come on.” I looked at him. His cheeks were tinted pink and the way he was staring at me transferred his chills to me. “Y-You have to eat something hot.” I awkwardly looked at his nose.

He slowly opened his mouth as he sipped the soup from the spoon. His eyes never left mine and I could feel a rapid rise of my heart. I was beginning to feel more nervous. My heart was beating so fast and I was trying so hard to control it.

I continued to feed him and he finally finished up to the whole bowl. I was shaking inside but I prayed God my hands weren’t shaking as I feed him.

I rested him back to his bed and he relaxes. I sighed heavily and my heavy shoulders softened when my wish for him to not look at me already was fulfilled.

After a few seconds, his eyes turned back to me making me look down. He was wearing a frown and I believe it was time for me to explain myself and apologize since it felt like the blame was on me.

“Sorry. I really didn’t think you would still be there.” I mumbled and he did not respond. He looked away. I gulped hard and grabbed my bag from the floor. I stood fixing myself. “I-I’ll go ahead, Jared. I hope you feel better soon.” I said.

I was near the door – ready to leave when something hit my head. When I turned, Jared’s cold gaze met mine. I frowned and caught sight of the pillow down the floor. Did he just hit me with a pillow?! I picked up the fallen pillow and laid them down the chair next to his door.

I creased my brows and turned to him. For seconds, we stared at each other. His were very angry and disappointed and mad. Temper, Julia. Temper. He’s a sick guy. Bear with it for now. In fact, it was your fault in the first place.

As I stepped out of his room, a small drop of tear ran down my cheeks. I couldn’t help it. I was holding it for so long but I couldn’t keep them in my eyes too long. I felt bad that despite the fact that I came here, left Joshua for him, dismissed my therapy for him, he throws a pillow in my head in return. How rude of him. Just when I thought he’s actually opening up, he does this kind of stuff.

When I reached the living room, I saw Soon Young sitting down the couch. He was alone already and he was watching a movie and was eating popcorn. He turned to me with a teasing glare. “Hey, Julia.”

“Hey.” I uttered and walked towards him wiping my tears away. I sat next to him in the couch.

“Hey. Are you crying?” he asked and I chuckled.

“No.” I answered. “I just,” I paused and I wandered, “—got dust in my eyes.”

He raised a brow telling me he didn’t believe in what I just said. “Was it because of Jared?” he suddenly asked.

I froze and stared blankly ahead. “N-N—”

“You know, you can’t judge a book by its cover.” He said. I turned to him.

I turned to him. I did not need an explanation but he really was mysterious for me to not get interested.

“Jared just needs time. I’m sure someday, someday he will realize what he truly feels and maybe he can finally bring his old self back. He may do something bad but in his mind, it might be something unintended.”

“It’s not because of him, Sean.”

“You’re telling me it’s not him but your eyes tell me it’s him.” He stared at me. “Jared might have done something mean to you right now because maybe, you’ve done something wrong to him. It’s just the way his personality works.” I looked away awkwardly. “Do you know how Jared started to act this way?” he suddenly asked.

I shook my head.

He smiled. “It’s because of one girl.”

I frowned suddenly curious.

He chuckled. “He wasn’t like this before. He used to be really happy. That girl, she was the reason why he makes wonderful songs, encourages us, gives us a good vibe. She was his medicine every day.”

My heart throbbed and ached at the same hearing those words about him.

“She was our club writer.”

Oh.

“Too. He used to be happy. He laughs, jokes, plays with us and smiles which is why we really admired him. He was the best president anyone could ask for.” He paused. “But then, he went gloomy and dark all of a sudden.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, we, me and Kevin, we were passing by the cudgel house when we saw him with her in the cabin. We were really nosy – you should know that by now – so we walked closer and heard their conversation.” He paused. “Then, we realized they had something special. They were keeping it from us but we weren’t mad!” he exclaimed. “Really. We were just surprised. We thought, maybe Jared was like, really happy because of her but we really didn’t imagine him in something like that with a girl. It’s just not like him.”

“What happened?”

“Well, when we eavesdropped, they were fighting. Jared was telling her that he was sorry and such things but I can really feel that he didn’t do something wrong and I know that because we were here in MESPA High like kindergarten. I’m so sure of that.

“The girl said they’re nothing like that and that he was just a friend for her. Jared got really emotional and angry. We think, Jared thought they were more than friends but the girl didn’t feel that same way.”

I couldn’t believe it. It was surreal.

“The girl left the club the moment that happened so from that day on, Jared carried out his anger towards the club, the members. He was regretting that he placed himself on a position he held just to impress her. Just to prove to her that he can manage and he’s responsible which is really true, you know.

“He started scolding everyone. He wasn’t participating on games we usually play. He became strict and he wasn’t showing his happy self anymore. He wears this frown and grudge every single day. We even planned to bring her back but we failed.”

I pressed my lips together feeling all the bads.

“That’s the history that lies behind Jared. Only me, Kevin, and Sed knows this. Now you.” He looked at me.

“Why did you tell me all this, Sean?” I asked with a questioning look.

“Because,” he smiled. “I know if I’d tell you, you’d help us achieve our goal. We want to bring Jared back. He was Wooji back then.” He suddenly chuckled.

“Wooji?”

“Yep yep.” He smiled. “He was our Woody before. Remember when I told you we had games, well, we were playing Toy Story, Sed was Buzzer and he was woody. Woody, Jared. Woo-ji.”

I smiled at the thought. Wooji.

He chuckled. “Now you’re really starting to appreciate him. And so did he.” He paused, “Oh!” he suddenly pulled something from his back. “Here.”

He handed me a CD and I looked at it. “What’s this?”

“Jaeho said he was holding that when he saw him. I opened it a while ago and it was named after you so I guess it was for you.”

I frowned grabbing the CD. What’s this? Then I remembered, “I’m just wondering. Did you know—” I paused and looked at Sean. “—who the girl was?”

He smiled. “It was Ysabelle.”