The Earth Online

60 The Desolate Door

After that bloodshed, Thaleos doesn’t remember how they got back. He just remembered staying silent throughout the journey, and everyone constantly asked him if he was okay.

The moment they got back to the Melam Military Base, Thaleos just felt lethargic and couldn’t even afford to be sentimental as he just felt like s**t.

So, while everyone was saying a word or two about the beloved base, he said his quick goodnights and went straight to his bed.

Even if the bed was dusty from being untouched for a whole month, the beast tamer didn’t bother to change the sheets and just placed another sheet on top and laid it down.

The bearded man now understood what Haya felt when his bloodlust overtook him. Honestly, they all killed someone at some point. It was inevitable in Ellis Town. Every day was already an apocalypse for everyone, homeless or poor.

Their lives revolved around survival.

Thaleos remembered the young boy he was forced to kill when he was younger. Not knowing how to survive out on the streets, a small-time gang picked him up and promised to make him a member if he fought with one of the other kids.

They said that it was a rite of passage of sorts and that all the kids that he was going to fight also wanted to be in the gang. The raunchy old man who recruited him told him that only he deserves the spot gets to be part of the “family.”

After getting his hands dirty and punching another kid to death, he soon discovered that they were basically competing in a fighting cage and were being treated like fight dogs.

He remembered how he had to bring that memory with him for years on end. He couldn’t sleep at night and could barely stomach the sight of blood.

He took up psychology because, just like so many other people, he wanted to deconstruct what he was feeling and make sure that he could develop his own coping methods.

It didn’t work, but it somehow helped.

So he just buried it all underneath his memories; he couldn’t handle fully rationalizing it yet. He hated himself at this moment because he knew that it would resurface at some point.

He could remember the bloody look that the man had on his face and how he was straight out choking from his own blood and sword.

The man just spent the next few hours, tormenting himself with his memories. In the deep silence of the night, save for some crickets and other animal sounds, he heard someone knocking on the door.

When he slowly opened the door, he saw that it was Haya. The young man had this gentle smile on his face and a cup of hot chocolate in his right hand.

“Want to talk?” Haya invited the beast tamer to go outside of the house. Thaleos agreed and followed the tan man until they reached the training grounds near the barn.

They decided to sit on one of the blocks of hay and watch the stars and moon twinkling in the night sky.

“Wasn’t it a night like this that we first met?” Haya asked while admiring the northern star. Thaleos’ tensed shoulders relaxed a bit when he remembered the first he saw the young tan man.

The man back then was severely malnourished and looked like he was about to die on the streets. The beast tamer caught him just as he was being tortured by some gangster kids who had nothing better to do.

Thaleos strategically scared them away by just shouting something along the lines, “Here, Mr. Police Officer. They’re here.” Once the group of youngsters heard those words, they immediately ran away.

The young Haya was keeling over in pain and was staring at Thaleos with this grateful yet sad look. When he asked the boy how he was, Haya responded with, “Would’ve been better if they just stabbed me to death. Way faster, and that means I don’t need to suffer in the god damn hell hole anymore.”

Thaleos saw the familiar dead look in the young boy’s eyes. At that time, Thaleos was already fourteen and decided to take the young man under his wing. Although Kedrick was hesitant at first, he gradually accepted Haya and treated him like a little brother.

From there on, they lived in one of the abandoned buildings of Ellis Town and did their best to survive until they found an orphanage that helped them get scholarships in university.

“That was a tough but worthwhile ride. We did our best to follow our principles to survive, but we realized at some point that our principle of not harming anyone has its limits. It happens to us, Thaleos. This world is f****d up, and traumas are being triggered.” The islander gave the older man a gentle look as a way to comfort him.

“But what makes me different from Brodrick? I killed someone with my bare hands.” Thaleos’ voice almost cracked, and this signal Haya to directly gaze at the bearded man and say,

“Thaleos, we’re in an apocalyptic world. We’re pushed in all kinds of corners to make yes or no decisions. The Godly Gambles pushes us into these f****d up situations, and we have no choice but to survive.”

“But that’s the same reason Brodrick had, dude, I, ugh,” Thaleos didn’t get to finish his sentence as he sighed in frustration. Suddenly, Reiko appeared from the shadows, and behind him were Kedrick, Ygritte, and Natalia.

They all couldn’t sleep that night as they were all still disturbed by what happened in the gymnasium.

“No, Thaleos. You’re way different compared with Brodrick. He says that he killed people to survive, but everyone knew that he killed people because he wanted to. He killed without a second thought. You’re different. You kill because you had a reason to.” Reiko seriously explained while giving Thaleos a sincere look.

All his teammates, his family gave him warm smiles, which comforted his soul. Finally, he smiled at them all back. After clearing up his thoughts, he called Reiko and said,

“Reiko, can you help us manage the door to the alien world? Can you be its guardian?” The beast tamer knew that the gymnasium door was the least used alien door out of all the spread throughout Haine.

After Thaleos explained his strategy of going back and forth the alien door, the Asian man immediately agreed.

Aside from the fast and efficient strategy, the pale-skinned man wanted to take a break from all the fighting and violence. He needed to heal himself from all the things his team did.

“And to everyone else, I have to do something on my own.” As soon as those words left the beast tamer’s mouth, everyone reacted violently.

“What do you mean, man? Like you’re going to go out there solo?” Kedrick was the first one to protest. Haya seconded the umber man’s opinion and said they all needed each other to survive the second stage.

“Thaleos, we can all do this together; we can help you. Don’t isolate yourself from us, please.” Ygritte pleaded because she knew how the bearded man had tendencies to isolate himself whenever he had these episodes.

Sometimes it can be as short as one day, but there are times, especially in bad episodes, where he would just be detached from everyone for months. The beast tamer could see the worried look on the druid’s face and gave her a small smile.

Natalia was staring at Thaleos and didn’t know how to react. He knew that the man always tended to go off on his own whenever he was in a bad place, but she knew that this was his coping way.

“Hey, I’m not going solo for good. I need to be alone in this one quest. Otherwise, I can never let go of these sentiments. I need to understand that we’re in a different world, and that means making compromises.” The man explained.

Although everyone protested at first, Kedrick was the first to say, “We should let him go.” Soon after, everyone understood what Thaleos and Kedrick meant and reluctantly agreed to the beast tamer’s decision.

“After this one quest, I’ll go back to the Melam Military Base, and we can all get some drinks. Sounds good?” Thaleos felt like he was patronizing children, and this line made everyone chuckle.

Thaleos could understand why everyone was so against him going out alone. They were honestly very protective of their little family and worked together like a whole breathing and living organism.

But he knew that his attachment to this side of his humanity held him back when it came to making fatal decisions. He needed to make this journey alone to fully understand and rationalize that they can’t always fight the good fight.

He realized that to win the game. He had to make some sacrifices, including people or his principles.