LOVE IN CROSSFIRE

A NEW PHASE OF STRUGGLE

I went back home, and I couldn't help but think about everything. Why did Cal refuse me? He always wanted me. I wondered if Michael and Nolan knew that Cal had rejected me.

I texted Michael asking him if he'd want me for the night, just to have fun with ourselves. But he sent a message back: NO, AURORA. I'M SORRY, WE MIGHT NOT BE DOING THIS ANYMORE. BUT YOU CAN ALWAYS STOP BY THE HOUSE ANYTIME.

“What the f**k!” I muttered. I didn't bother texting Nolan because it would obviously be the same thing. Why would they refuse me? Was it because I refused Damian? Who the f**k was this Damian guy?

When I got into the house, Corey was seated on the sofa. This time when I saw him, I wasn't exactly sad because maybe I was making progress. One thousand dollars actually looked like progress to me.

His eyes gazed at me calmly. “Hi sis.”

I forced a smile, and took the sofa next to him. “Hi Corey. How are you?”

He slouched on the chair, “Staying that I'm fine would be a lie, Aurora. I'm scared.”

I moved out of my sofa immediately, and sat with him in his. I placed my hands on his, and held him firmly yet softly. “Corey, I'm doing everything possible to make sure that you're fine. You will be fine. If anything, you're the strongest teenager I know. You will be fine, I'm still trying to get you in the front line for a heart transplant.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, I tried hard to hold it in but I couldn't, they fell down my cheek. Bella came out of the room to see Corey and I in tears. She went inside the room immediately, allowing us to process our feelings and emotions as siblings.

When I finally caught my breath, I pulled Corey into an embrace and I said to him, “You will be fine. Please trust me.”

“I trust you, Sis.” He replied softly.

I held him in my arms until he slept off. I couldn't help but think about so many things. I didn't want my brother to die. I thought of the night too. I couldn't make it to the club, I was too shattered to get my ass in that club. I also thought about my demons, I didn't know how I'd hold it in at night.

I asked myself several questions. Should I just accept Damian for the night? My addiction scares me a lot. I almost couldn't control it, and it mostly came at night. I obviously didn't like that I loved doing these things. I f*cking enjoyed having s*x, but I didn't like that I enjoyed it.

Then I remembered, I was messing up law school. “What the f**k?” I muttered. Tears fell off my eyes, this time uncontrollably. “Why me?”

There was just so much happening at once, and I couldn't help myself. But then, I knew I wouldn't go to the club that night. My mind, body and soul were too weak to be in that place. I decided to stay home and watch my brother for once. It was something Corey always wanted but I barely did it for him, Bella always did. Maybe, this was a night to watch him and also look into my books.

I didn't know that with my rivers of thoughts, I fell asleep with Corey in my arms. I was startled by the sound of the door opening. It was Corey's doctor.

I rubbed my eyes, and looked at him in shock. “I thought I locked the door.” I said, forgetting to greet.

“Nope. It was open.” He responded. “How's Corey?”

I looked at my brother in my arms, still asleep. He'd told me he wasn't fine, so I didn't know what response to give to the doctor. I sighed deeply.

As if he could read my thoughts, he smiled. “It's fine. He will be fine. I'm still working in placing him amongst the top five people for a heart transplant. At the time, he was forty eight. That's way better than last month where he was in the seventies.”

I nodded. Well, that was an improvement. But then, Corey's heart was very weak. He needed a transplant sooner than anyone thought. “I'll get some money soon. Please, I'll want the transplant soon.”

“Yeah, I know. We're still working on that.” The doctor replied. “Did he take the last medications I brought? And hope there's been no attack since then?”

I raised a brow, and shivers flowed through my body. Did Corey have an attack recently? I didn't know about it. What kind of sister was I?

“Uhmm…. You… I—” I stuttered.

But Bella came in time to save me. “Yeah, he's been taking the medications, and he's been way better the last time. There's been no attack since then. But we might be needing new oxygen. The last one is almost exhausted.”

My face curved in a frown, “More oxygen?” I asked, almost rhetorically because I wasn't expecting Bella to respond to that. I almost didn't know a lot about my brother's health, but then, I was doing everything to save him. All I did was give the money, work for the money, and tell Bella to pay and get everything set.

I placed Corey on the sofa to rest his head, while I l excused myself. I wasn't just a bad law student, I was a bad sister and friend, I was also a bad person to myself.

I got into the room, and fell on the bed, crying like my whole world was done. Life had been so unfair to me, and to my brother. I cursed my father for all we had to go through. I slept off while crying, and I didn't look after Corey again. I woke up by 2am to my demons begging to be fed.

“Oh holy Mary!” I exclaimed. I turned to look around the room, but Bella wasn't there. I was covered with a duvet, I could tell it was Bella that tucked into the bed. It was safe to call her the mummy of the house.

I got up and paced around my room, my demons were hungry. This was what it felt like for me when I didn't have anyone to satisfy my cravings. My craving came in bad ways, nothing should have stirred it up, it just comes on its own.

I stepped out of my room, to find Bella. She was sleeping in Corey's room with him. I watched the both of them tucked into bed, and it reminded me how my mum tucked Corey and I into bed, and we will be found sleeping on the same bed the next morning snuggling with each other.

I missed those times, but at the time, my body was vibrating.

“What do I do?” I muttered.

This was the point where I missed Bastian. That was why I always slept in his house while we dated, so that he could satisfy me every night.

I took out my phone, “Do I call Cal? What should I do?”