Cursed by Fate (COMPLETE)

Chapter Twenty Six

I had my dinner brought to my room, not willing to come out just yet. The guys had all been up to check on me, and I assured them I was fine and that I just needed time alone to process. Process what I didn’t exactly know. There was so much that changed basically overnight. I knew the changes were coming and I thought I was prepared for them, but apparently not. I mean how can someone get over the changes I went through? How can someone process the fact that I was an alpha in all sense of the word? It just didn’t make any sense. 

Why me? What made me so special? It wasn’t like I was this strong and worthy woman who can take on anything. I am unsure, I second guess my decisions, over analyze everything. I have panic attacks when something overwhelms me. I get all jumbled up and confused when it seemed like my path split in different directions. It helped that I didn’t have to make a decision with my mates, I got to keep them all, but did I really want to? Did I want four men in my life? I wasn’t sure. And it’s not like I could just walk out and tell them I wasn’t sure of them. They were all kind and caring and I didn’t have a reason to second guess them, but four? I’ve never even had one, how can I deal with four? 

I flung myself down onto my back on the bed with a groan. None of this made any sense. Flying had helped a little, maybe I should go out and run? Let my wolf out. That should help. But I was just so exhausted. My mind and my emotions swirling around inside me taking everything out of me. 

Worry not. Rose whispered softly. Rest, we can try and make sense of everything tomorrow.

“That sounds perfect.” I sighed, my eyes fluttering closed. 

****

I jolted awake, my heart beating erratically as I looked around myself, trying to figure out where I was. My breath was coming in short rapid pants, my eyes wide with fear. I relaxed marginally when I remembered I was back in Darkridge. Ugh, did I have to be back here? I flung my feet over the side of the bed and shuffled to the shower, the hot water cascading over me soothingly as it relaxed my aching muscles. I don’t even remember my dream for me to have woke up so panicked. I closed my eyes just letting the water flow over me, not ready to face what was waiting for me. My mates, the pack, the pack barbecue. Just being in the presence of all the people who have been lying to me my whole life irked me to a point I was fuming. No it wasn’t fair to them since they were commanded by my father, but still, that didn’t mean it hurt any less. 

Getting out I dressed in a simple long sleeved dress and knee high boots. It was Autumn after all and moving into winter. Though I realized I didn’t really feel the cold yesterday, not like I used to. I wonder if that is part of the shift, being immune to the elements. Or if that is just a me thing since I can control the elements. Ugh, I didn’t want to control the elements. Keeping my emotions in check was going to be too hard. I guess Darkridge might as well brace for unnatural weather until I can get a hold on all of this. 

Down in the kitchen, all the guys were already up. Natalie was cooking as she laughed and conversed with them. I really shouldn’t feel jealous, but I did. I shook my head pushing the feeling down as I entered the kitchen. Lance was the first to notice me, rushing over and pulling me into his embrace. My feet left the ground with his hug. I burrowed my face into the crook of his neck and inhaled his calming scent, my body slackening as I melted into his arms. 

“Here you go Nicole.” Mathias said holding out a cup of coffee. 

“Thank you.” I smiled, untangling myself from Lance and grabbing the hot mug between my hands. The warmth seeping into my hands as I let the hot liquid wash over my tongue. My eyes closed and I moaned at the taste of it. Coffee was life, that’s all there is to it. 

“Are you ready to start training your new abilities?” Uriel asked coming to stand by my side.

“I don’t know.” I said honestly. “I know I have to, but I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t want to destroy Darkridge if my power goes haywire. There are just so many unknowns.” 

“I can assist you with your angel abilities.” He smiled softly. “Show you how to use your light, to heal. I can show you how to summon your sword.” 

I choked, inhaling my coffee at the news. “My sword?” I sputtered. 

He laughed. “Yes, every angel has their own unique sword that manifests when they gain their wings. Each sword has its own power. Angels are healers, protectors. We fight, we wage wars, but do not really have powers by ourselves. Our angelic light can help, it can, if powerful enough incinerate our opponents. But that power is usually reserved for the Seraphim angels. They are the highest rank of angels just above the archangels. Some archangels can harness this ability, though it is not as strong as the seraphim.” Uriel informs me. 

“Wait, so I am not the alpha of the angels?” I asked excitedly

Uriel laughed. “Yes you are still considered an alpha angel. Seraphim angels can not be made like a regular angel can. God or Zeus, whatever it is you call him, also refuses to create any more. Too many can tip the balance of good and evil. Though that may sound like a good thing to win the war, it will have far worse consequences on the mortal realm.” 

“Great.” I groan, dropping myself into a chair. 

“Everything will be alright, you’ll see.” Mathias tried to assure me. 

“Easy for you to say.” I grumble while taking a sip of my coffee. 

Elias pulled me into a side hug and kissed the top of my head. “We’re here for you.” He reminded me. 

“I know.” I finally sigh. “It’s just….It’s a lot to take in.” 

And it was. I barely got the chance to process that I was a hybrid. Then on the day I shift I find out I’m not a hybrid, but a tribrid. And not only that, I am an alpha of each of my species. I could barely take care of myself. How can I take care of a pack and lead a vampire clan? Hell, I need reminders to feed myself. That by itself should tell you how responsible I am. Maybe I could give it a shot, it might be different with other people. I guess responsibility and having people depend on you can change you. But I wouldn’t know for sure, I’ve never had anyone really depend on me, nor have I depended on anyone else. 

“I promise, everything will be fine.” Lance says soothingly. “You will gain control and you will be an amazing alpha.” 

“What if I don’t want to be alpha?” I whisper. 

“You’ll change your mind. It’s in your blood Nicole.” 

I didn’t agree or disagree, just stared into his haloed eyes. Seeing the sincerity there, the pride and confidence in me made me smile. Lance always had so much faith in me, it was astonishing. I’ve never had someone have so much faith and confidence in me before. And I had to admit I liked it. It warmed my heart and soothed my soul to know I had him behind me, and the others as well. I still didn’t know if I could or would trust them completely, but we had to start somewhere didn’t we? Trust didn’t come on its own, especially with me, and especially now that even my uncle was a suspect in my parents death. And potentially my almost death. Did he set up the school shooting too just to get to me? That would be unforgivable if he did. So many innocent lives taken just to take one. And one that wasn’t even there to begin with. 

“Well, thank you. I know all of you will be here for me and help me the best you can.” I wrapped my arms around my middle and sighed. “I need this done soon though.” I whispered. “I can’t risk hurting anyone by accident.” 

“We will start tomorrow.” Elias assured me, unwinding my arms from around myself and wrapping his arms around me in return. 

I leaned my head against his chest and closed my eyes while letting his scent surround me. He lightly ran his fingers up and down my spine soothingly, sending a chill through me. I was still not used to so much attention being on me, so much time put into making sure I was okay and comfortable. I knew I could easily get used to this. Used to being loved, being cherished. Used to letting people make me feel like I mattered. And regardless of trust right now or not I knew that as long as these men were with me, as long as they supported me I could get through this. I could gain control of my powers and new forms. The question was how long it would take to do so.