Mate's Redemption

Dealing With The Past

James POV

"Cassia, please little one, I didn't mean to scare you.." I began to walk towards her, hand outstretched, but I quickly thought better of myself and stopped. Dropping my hand, I watched her shut the door quickly and I heard the latch click.

Did she really feel that unsafe with me?

I mean, I know she's young and hasn't felt the mate bond yet, likely because she hasn't gotten her wolf yet, but I knew she had to at least feel something when she was around me. Anthing.

I decided to give her space. Maybe she would take another bath and relax again. I descended into the kitchen to grab some breakfast. I was picking over a bagel when my beta walked in.

"Hey man, how's it going with..." he trailed off. He hadn't learned her name either and I hadn't filled him in on the details yet.

"Cassia. Her name is Cassia." I corrected him.

He nodded, "Pretty name, for a pretty girl."

I growled at him and glared at him.

"Sorry, Alpha," Beck laughed and went back to rummaging through the cabinets.

Usually I'd have a chef here to cook for us, but it was her grand-daughters third birthday and I gave her the weekend off so she could celebrate with her family. I didn't mind. Family was always important to me. Especially after everything that had happened with mine.

I gave him a curt nod. Best friend or not, Beck should know not to f**k with me when it comes to my mate.

"Man, have things been that bad so far?" He pressed when I didn't relax.

"She's just terrified of everything. No matter what I do."

"Well Alpha, you do have a temper." Beck laughed.

"I know. I'm working on that" I sighed, frustrated.

"Well, I know you'll figure it out. You always do man."

"Th-" I was cut off my a slicing pain in my arm. The pain was almost to much to bear. I fell out of my chair to the ground.

"Alpha?" Beck came to my side, concerned. I've never showed a moment of weakness my entire life. Ever.

"Cassia!" I gasped and scrambled for the stairs.

The pain was coming in waves, every wave slowing my down. I could feel myself becoming weaker but I pressed on.

I knew that something was wrong with my little mate. There was no other explanation. I burst into the bedroom.

My eyes frantically scanned the room.

Empty.

My eyes came to rest on the bathroom door closed still and I could see the carpet in my bedroom getting wet through the bottom of the door.

Maybe she fell asleep with the water on? Please, Goddess, let her not have drowned in a bath.

I kick the door open and what I see is worse than I could have ever imagined.

Cassia, My Cassia, is laying in a bath of her own blood, arm draining into the tub.

"CASSIA? CASSIA CAN YOU HEAR ME? Hold on little one. I've got you. I've got you. I scoop her up and mind link the pack surgeon.

SURGERY ROOM, FELIX, NOW.

I never used his first name unless it was serious. Life or death and he knew that.

Right away, Alpha.

Next, I mind linked Beck.

Cassia tried to kill herself, I'm heading downstairs to the surgery room to meet Felix.

Fuck! Are you serious Alpha?

Why would I f*****g lie about that?

Sorry Alpha, I didn't mean to-

I know what you f*****g meant. You're to handle pack business for the day.

I cut him off before he could answer me. I knew he could handle things for the afternoon while I had Cassia taken care of.

But honestly, if Felix could not save her, then I was done for too. I needed Cassia to live not only for herself, but for me as well. The demons she must be battling to forget, that being mates, this would kill us both. I refuse to believe she's that selfish. She couldn't be. At the thought of us both perishing I quickened my pace down the stairs to the pack hospital in the basement. I ran past the secretary and mock waiting room area and went strait to the operating room. Felix was already waiting for me, ready with his two best nurses, Diane and Shaina.

"Alpha." The nurses gave me a bow, eyes to the ground.

"Diane, Shaina." I nodded at them both.

"Bring her to me quickly," Felix urger me across the room.

I gingerly laid my mate down on the table. Her lips were a dangerous purple and her skin was almost gray. I could feel myself weakening and knew her life force was waning.

"Felix, hurry" I said hoarsely. I drug a chair over a sat down.

"Sorry Alpha, I need you out of here for this one." Felix began.

"But-..."

"No buts! Out now, every wasted second is another strike against both of your chances for survival. Now out!"

Felix rarely put his foot down but when it comes to my life and the life of his future Luna I know he doesn't mess around. He is unfailingly loyal to me. He has been loyal to my father before me and saved my life more than once when I was young and careless.

I obliged and drug the chair right outside of the door. I sat with my head in my hands for what felt like an eternity.

Finally, Diane's face popped out from the OR, "You can come back in if you wish now, Alpha."

I responded by getting up and dragging the chair back in the room and to Cassia's bedside. I sat down and took her hand in mine. I noticed how small her hand was in my own, and how it fit just perfectly in my palm. I began to trace circles on the back of her hand and I closed my eyes and leaned my head against her bed.

"Alpha," I heard Felix begin. I didn't raise my head but grunted for him to continue.

"I've done all I can. She is somewhat stable for now, but if she was taken off of the ventilator at this point, she probably wouldn't breathe on her own." My breath hitched in my throat.

"But," he continued on, "She is a fighter, and there is a chance she pulls through this. Only time will tell."

I nodded silently not lifting my head.

I was willing our mate bond to help her healing process. I was praying for the first time in my life. Begging for my mate to be given back to me. My life was nothing at this point, I just needed Cassia to be alive in this world. Without her here, life was a blackhole that consumed me constantly. I could feel the tears in my eyes. Tears I hadn't even shed when my own mother was killed in front of me at five years old. A rogue ripping her throat out before my father could cross the clearing to get to them. After my mother died, my father became a different man. And that is what shaped me into the alpha I am today. With the gruesome, fearful reputation I have. My father beat me daily, had me fight ten of our strongest pack warriors for weeks on end and at the end of it, leave me somewhere in the forest to find my way back to the pack house on my own. With nothing more than a pair of cargo shorts on. My father died years ago though, from a helicopter crash coming back from an important oversea business. It was made to look like an accident, but I knew otherwise. And I would find the killer and deal with them appropriately. I had my ideas on who it could be, but I was waiting to see if my suspicions were true.

I was lost in my own thoughts about the past, mournfully reminiscing when I felt Cassia's hand twitch. My head shot up in anticipation.

"FELIX!" I called

"Coming" I heard him call.

He came in and over to the bed. Looking Cassia over he started to remove the breathing tube and ventilator from her.

"She's breathing on her own now and her pulse has stabilized on her own."

I breathed a sigh of relief, "Thanks, Felix. You can go now."

He nodded, "Diane and Shaina will care for her as she recovers unless something extreme happens and I'm needed again which I do not see happening now. They'll check in from time to time and...you may want to call a therapist or have her put on suicide watch."

With that, he left the room.

I was undoubtedly doing both of those things. I had already decided to do both of those things before he even mentioned them. No f*****g way was I losing Cassia. Ever.

A few more hours passed. I watched her chest rise and fall for most of that time, but I must have dozed off at some point because I heard one of the nurses clear her throat to catch my attention. Although I had a fine night's sleep, I felt as though a semi had run me over.

"Pardon the interruption, Alpha. I'm just here to check Cassia's vital signs."

"No need to apologize Shaina."

I got up and moved out of her way. She paused for half of a second to try to hold my gaze but I looked away immediately. Shaina was one of my, how should I say it? Conquests? And often. Honestly, if I had never met Cassia, Shaina wouldn't have been a bad choice for Luna of the pack. She was a nurse, so she was valuable when it came to caring for members and she was selfless. Something the Luna of my pack needed to be. Just like me. I have a feeling Cassia may be even more selfless than I am though. No doubt the Moon Goddess would have paired me up with anyone, anything less than that.

Shaina continued to check over Cassia's vital signs. Although Shaina and I had a checkered past, I trusted her with Cassia's life. She wasn't the type to hold a grudge. Especially when it was my fated mate whom she was in charge of.

"Everything looks good, Alpha," She concluded.

I nodded, "You may leave Shaina."

She bowed her head and turned to leave, "And just so we're clear," I started, "Cassia is my fated mate and any potential future for us is dead and ash. Goodbye Shaina."

I heard a sniffle or two as she shut the door behind her. No doubt I had hurt her feelings but I needed her to know where I stood. Sure some alpha's rejected their mates and chose ones to fit their pack the best. But, I wasn't one of those alphas. I had been waiting for my fated mate since I was a child. Before my mother was murdered, my parents' marriage was the model example of how a husband and wife should treat each other. I wanted that for me as an adult. However, I turned eighteen, and then soon twenty after that and time just kept passing. I had lost hope of finding my mate but Beck had convinced me to wait until I was thirty before making that decision. I had waited this long. What was finishing a full decade if I got my mate at the end of it? It would be worth it for sure. And he was right. Which is why he's my right-hand man. Beck always has the best advice and has since we were small kids. I don't know what I would do without him as my Beta.

"Mmmm..." Cassia was waking up. This time instead of calling for the doctor I pressed the call button. I could see her eyes fluttering open as she woke up.

I sat up expectantly, anticipation eating me alive from the inside out.

"Cassia," I cooed. "Baby, I'm right here."

"Uggggggggghhhh..wh-..." She groaned louder, her eyes open now, no longer adjusting to the bright lights in the hospital room. "Cassia, you're in the pack's hospital. We're in the basement of the pack house baby." I smoothed the hair out of her face as I reassured her that she was safe. She slowly began to sit up. She tried using her left arm but it was bandaged from the massive cut down the length of her forearm and, with applied pressure to the wound, she winced in pain. Thinking better of it, she propped herself up on her other elbow and shifted herself into a sitting position.

"A-Alpha James," she began. "I-I mean, J-James.." her cheeks were turning rose red using my first name. Then I noticed it. There was a difference in her smell. I smelled the jasmine, vanilla and strawberry as I did before but this was something...else. The smell of rose and raspberry tickled my nostrils and then it hit me. That was Cassia's arousal. My god I could just imagine how sweet she tasted. My wolf started to push towards the surface, itching to take a taste right here in the hospital room and then mark her but I could not allow that. After putting some of her behavior together I can gather that not only was she abused and tortured regularly, she was sexually assaulted and r***d as well. The thought brought my wolf even closer to the surface. No longer with desire to take Cassia, but with the desire to rip Alpha Ross' head off and end the Black Blood Pack once and for all.

I didn't bring up the fact that I could smell her arousal. I did not want to embarrass her or alienate her. She must have met her wolf finally and be feeling the mate bond as I was this entire time. That is the only explanation for her immediate excitement upon seeing me and saying just my name. And she'd be saying more than my name later on...more like screaming it. I was lost in my own fantasies and then I heard it. Soft sniffles. I looked down to see Cassia, tears slowly falling silently.

"Baby, whats wrong?" I slid in the hospital bed and took her in my arms, instinctively. I felt her tense for a moment and then relax into me. The sniffles turned to quiet sobs. And after awhile she finally spoke.

"I-I..." she sobbed.

"Shhh, shhhh, Cassia please. It's okay baby. I'm going to help you get through this. I'm going to take care of you." My hand cupped her face and brought her closer to me. I tenderly kissed her forehead. Letting my lips linger a few more moments before beginning to pull away. Cassia didn't attempt to say anything more. She simply nodded and curled into me. She was incredibly tiny. She couldn't be taller than 5'4" for sure. And she was so skinny she was on the verge of malnutrition if not already there.

I will be fixing that issue. I intended to help Cassia heal and get back to her former self to be my future Luna, if that was what she wanted. I would not force Cassia to be with me. Not after her past. How could I? And even if I could, I would not.

I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame as gently as I could for fear of breaking something or further injuring her. Her sniffles and uneven breathing eventually ceased and evened out. She fell back asleep in my arms. This was the happiest I had been in a long time. Actually, I can't remember a time of feeling happiness like this except the faint memories from before my mother was murdered. I closed my eyes, smiled to myself and decided to take a nap myself.

I was woke a short while later to the doctor clearing his throat, "Alpha, can you move so we can check her over." I begrudgingly went to get up when I felt Cassia snake an arm around me and hold on tight. The fireworks that erupted where she touched me were almost to much to handle. God, I wanted her so badly I could almost taste her. She must have felt the same explosion I had because I could smell her arousal a moment later. The doctor must have smelled this as well because he turned to leave.

"I'll come check on her in just a bit." He shot me a pointed look. A look that said hands off the patient for now, Alpha.

I turned back to my little mate just as I heard the door click and I nuzzled into her hair. Taking in her scent.

"Mmmmm," I groaned.

"Cassia, you know that I can smell your arousal every time some dirty thought about me or us together crosses your mind?" Her eyes were shut but I could tell from her breathing pattern that she was no longer sleeping. I felt her tense for a moment and then push away. Damn it! I was trying to hard to refrain from saying anything but my wolf gave me a push and out it came.

"Cassia, I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you. In fact, it turns me on even more than before.." I trailed off with my nose still deep in her hair. She didn't relax but she also made no further attempt to get away from me.

After what felt like an eternity of peaceful silence, she broke it.

"I feel it." She whispered.

"I feel the mate bond." She confirmed to herself more than me.

"Cassia, I'm so glad you finally fe-.." She cut me off.

"I, Cassia Evans, Daughter of Alpha Eric of the sdfase Pack here by rej-" My hand slammed down over her mouth.

WHAT THE f**k? Rejection? REJECTION?

My wolf whimpered and I along with him. I could feel my heart cracking, the mate bond start to tear as she tried to sever our connection.

"Cassia, please," I begged her. "Please don't do this. I need you, we need you. I don't know if it's because of fear from your past or if you thought that I was going to reject you once you too realized the mate bond but I'm not going to do that. I promise."

She was trembling. "I-I'm sorry..." her voice broke.

"We'll get through this together. I promise you, for the rest of my life and yours I will do nothing other than prove my love and devotion to you, Cassia."

Moments turned into minutes, slipped by.

Silence.

Followed by more agonizing f*****g silence.

I couldn't take it anymore.

"Cassia, please. Tell me you'll give me a chance to earn your trust and your heart?" My voice was more full of hope than I had intended it to have. I didn't want to sound desperate, but the truth was; I was. I needed her as much as I knew she needed me. It was clear we both had difficult paths. This must be one of the reasons we were fated to be together.

More agonizing silence slipped by as she mulled over my words. Finally, she broke the silence.

"I will try, A-Al..I mean James."

I could have been a kid in a candy shop with the face-splitting grin that broke across my face.

"Oh thank you my little love! I will spend the rest of my existence devoted to you, Cassia." I could see that while I was in ecstasy over her giving me a chance, fear was etched across her face. Since I need to start proving exactly what it is, I have promised her.

I got up out of the hospital bed and took a step back and bowed deeply to my little mate, "Cassia, I would like to formally introduce myself as your mate, Alpha James."

I know we had had formalities before but what I was trying to do was start over the right way. No outburst of frustration and this time, I knew she felt the mate bond, so there was no denying it. I was still deep in my bow when I heard a small giggle come from Cassia. The sound of her giggle was like the voices of a thousand angels all caressing me with their voices, serenading me.

A few moments slipped passed. I was still deep in my bow to her when I heard her small voice.

"A-Al..James. I'm Cassia. Nice to meet you." She giggled again and the sound danced across my eardrums. My grin couldn't grow any wider, my cheeks would split open. As she finished her introduction, I stood and she curtsied to me. A booming laugh erupted from my chest. I haven't truly laughed like that in a long time. It felt good. Refreshing. A look of surprise crossed Cassia's face for a moment and then for the first time in three days, she smiled. It wasn't a cheek splitting grin like I had but I could see the corners of her mouth tug upwards. I was beginning to feel hopeful for her. For us.

I put my hand out for her to shake to finish the introduction and waited. She looked at my hand and back to me. Quite a few times actually. She genuinely looked confused for a moment. I was about to interject and tell her I wanted to shake her hand. She extended hers and slipped her dainty hand right in my own. The way her hand felt in my own, I would never tire of it. It was as if she was the missing puzzle piece and she fit exactly where she was supposed to. Explosions broke out where her hand touched my own and I felt my breathing start to become ragged. My wolf wanted to mark her so badly. As did I. It was becoming harder to control him. I could feel my control slipping a bit, I knew the crimson must have been bleeding across my irises, but Cassia did not appear afraid. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Her arousal was so strong it almost knocked me over. My wolf lunged for control at the delectable scent and it took all of my control not to let him come to the surface and take Cassia where she stood. I could hear her heart start to race and I dared to pull her closer to me, slowly. I didn't want to alarm her or ruin this special moment we seemed to have started. Even if it was in one of the least romantic places in the world; a hospital room. I gingerly wrapped my arm around her and secured her delicate frame against my own. I know she's supposed to be resting in bed after everything that happened, but I couldn't resist holding her close here like this. I had been dreaming of it, literally, for the last three nights, since she had arrived back home with me.

"Just what do you two think your doing?" Cassia jumped and went to push me away. I made no move to release her. I had heard the doctor enter the room and just didn't care. What was he going to do? Tell me, his alpha to not hold his mate? He knew as well as I did that even though she was weak and needed rest, my touch and presence alone would help her gain her strength back and heal faster.

"S-sorry doctor," Cassia whispered with her eyes on the floor.

"Luna please, it is I who should be avoiding your gaze. Not you, mine."

Her eyes widened, "Luna?"

I interrupted, "Why, of course, my love. I am alpha of the pack after all and you're my fated mate. You will be my Luna and you will kick major ass at it. I just know it." I was beaming at the conclusion of my sentence. I knew she was exactly the mate my pack and I needed her. And I had already pledged to myself that I would not ever have Cassia ripped away from my pack and I like my mother was when I was a young pup.

I gently set Cassia back on the bed because I knew why the doctor was in here; he was to check on Cassia.

As he went over checking her pulse, breathing, checking her eyes, etc. I got an urgent mind like from Beck.

Alpha, we need you up in your office, now. Rogues have just broken through the southern border and killed a patrol man. Reinforcements have been sent but we need you.

Be there in five minutes.

I cut the mind link. "Cassia, I have some pack business to tend to. I will be back later, don't worry." I gave her a reassuring smile. It didn't seem to have the effect I wanted though.

"Y-you're leaving me...a-alone?" She whispered, I could hear the fear in her voice.

"I'm sorry my love. I will be back as soon as I can, but I will send someone down who has been dying to meet you. I'm sure you two will end up being best friends. She hasn't left me alone since I brought you back here!" I chuckle to myself.

"She?" I can hear the possessiveness in her voice. Her wolf must be jealous of the fact that I'm talking about another female. The thought made my heart swell.

"Yes, she. Her name is Rachel and she's my younger and much more annoying little sister. There is also Sara but she's away in private school overseas to finish up her high school career."

Her shoulders relaxed, "Oh, okay. I'll just wait here for her then," she mumbled.

I kissed the top of her head and started for the door, "I'll be back soon and Rachel will be down to see you as soon as she finishes her breakfast."

The door latched behind me.

Now is time to go figure out why rogues are attacking my pack when they haven't dared since I became alpha. I will find out. And they will die. Hopefully, both of those things are accomplished asap so I can get back to Cassia.