Jacob and Bella Story

Chapter Eighteen

Bella's P.O.V.

My visitor remained motionless in the middle of the hall. Her skin was unnervingly pale, her dark eyes intensely fixed on me. Her beauty was unimaginable.

I almost fell as my knees buckled momentarily. I then lunged at Alice.

"Alice, oh, Alice!" I cried as I slammed into her.

I'd forgotten how hard Alice was; it was like running headlong into a cement wall.

"Bella?" Alice said. There was a strange mingling of relief and confusion on her face.

I enveloped her in a hug, desperate to breathe in the scent of her skin. Unlike anything else, it lacked floral, spice, citrus, or mushy notes. No other perfume could match it. My memory failed to capture its true essence.

I failed to notice the shift from gasping to sobbing. I was unaware of my tears until Alice guided me to the sofa and comforted me. I felt remarkably comfortable, as if nestled into a perfectly formed stone. She soothed my back while I composed myself.

"I'm...sorry," I blubbered. "I'm just...so happy...to see you!"

"It's okay, Bella. Everything's okay." Alice said.

"Yes." I bawled.

And for once, it seemed that way.

Alice let out a wistful sigh. "Ah, how your exuberance eludes me," she remarked disapprovingly.

With streaming eyes, I looked up at her. Alice strained her neck, pulling away; she pressed her lips tight, and her eyes were as dark as night.

"Oh," I puffed as I realized the problem.

Alice was thirsty. And I smelled appetizing. It hadn't been a while since I'd had to think about the same thing.

"Sorry." I said.

"It's my fault. It's been too long since I hunted. I shouldn't let myself get so thirsty. But I was in a hurry today." Alice said.

Alice cast a glare that could slice through steel. "So, care to explain how you're still breathing?" she shot back.

That surprised me and silenced my tears. I instantly understood the events and Alice's presence.

I swallowed hard, the sound cutting through the quiet. "You saw me fall?" I questioned.

"No," Alice disagreed, her eyes narrowing. "I saw you jump."

I pushed my lips as I tried to think of an explanation that wouldn't sound nuts.

"I wasn't keeping tabs on you, I swear, Bella. It's that I'm already attuned to you. When I saw you jumping, I got on a plane. I knew I would be too late, but couldn't do anything. And I get here thinking I could help Charlie somehow, and you drive up." Alice said, shaking her head. "I saw you go into the water, and I waited for you to come up, but you didn't. What happened? And how could you do that to Charlie? Did you stop to think what this would do to Charlie? And my brother? Do you have any idea what Edward----"

Her mentioning his name caused me to cut her off immediately. I'd let her go on, even after I realized the misunderstanding she was under, to hear the perfect bell tone of her voice. But it was time to interrupt.

"Alice, I wasn't committing suicide," I said.

Alice raised an eyebrow, skepticism dancing in her eyes. "Are you telling me you didn't actually jump off a cliff?" she challenged.

"No, but..." I grimaced. "It was for recreational purposes only."

Alice's expression hardened.

"I'd seen some of Jacob's friends cliff diving." I insisted. "It looked like fun, and I felt bored."

Alice waited.

"I didn't think about how the storm would affect the currents. I knew little about the aftermath at all." I continued.

Alice chose not to buy it. I perceived her continued belief that I'd attempted suicide. I redirected.

"So if you saw me go in, why didn't you see Jacob?" I asked.

Alice tilted her head, lost in thought, as I pressed on. "It's true—I would have sunk like a stone if Jacob hadn't leaped in after me. No question about it. He swooped in, saved my skin, and whisked me back to shore. Admittedly, I was quite a handful at that point. I mean, I was down for less than a minute before he yanked me up. How could you have missed that?" I inquired, curiosity etched across my face.

Alice's expression clouded with confusion. "So, someone pulled you out?" she questioned.

"Yes. Jacob saved me." I responded.

I watched, curious, as a mysterious array of emotions crossed her face. Something troubled her—perhaps her poor eyesight? But I was uncertain. Then she intentionally leaned in close and sniffed my shoulder.

I froze.

"Don't be ridiculous." Alice muttered, sniffing at me some more.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

Alice's expression twisted in disgust as she brushed off my question. "Who was with you out there? It sounded like a heated debate," she remarked, eyebrows arched and tone sharp.

"Jacob Black. He's...sort of my best friend, I guess. At least he was..." I responded.

I thought of Jacob's angry, betrayed face and wondered what he was to me now.

Alice nodded, preoccupied

"What?" I asked.

"I don't know," Alice responded. "I'm not sure this means."

"Well, I'm not dead, at least."

Alice rolled her eyes. "He fooled himself into thinking you could survive alone. I've seen no one so prone to life-threatening idiocy." She said.

"I survived." I pointed.

Alice's mind drifted beyond the moment. "If the currents were overwhelming, how did Jacob navigate them?" she inquired, curiosity sparkling in her eyes.

"Jacob is...strong." I responded.

Alice heard the reluctance in my voice, and her eyebrows rose.

I bit my lip briefly. Was this a secret or not? And if so, who was my most extraordinary ally? Alice or Jacob?

It was too hard to keep secrets, I decided. Jacob knew everything, so why not Alice?

"See, well, he's sort of a werewolf," I admitted in a rush. "The Quileutes turn into wolves when there are vampires around. They have known Carlisle for a long time. Were you with Carlisle back then?"

Alice gaped at me momentarily, then drew herself back, blinking. "Well, I suppose that explains the stench," she muttered, somewhat bemused. "But does it shed light on what I didn't see?" she inquired, her frown deepening with curiosity and concern.

"The smell?" I asked.

"You smell awful." Alice responded, still frowning. "A werewolf? Are you sure about that?"

"Very sure," I promised, wincing as I remembered Paul and Jacob fighting on the road. "I guess you weren't with Carlisle the last time there were werewolves here in Forks?"

"No, I hadn't found him yet," Alice responded.

Alice was still lost in thought. Suddenly, her eyes widened, and she looked at me with a shocked expression. "Your best friend is a werewolf?" she asked.

I nodded sheepishly.

"How long has this been going on?" Alice asked.

"Not long," I said, my voice sounding defensive. "Jacob's only been a werewolf for a few weeks."

Alice's glare was a dagger, her narrowed eyes slits of suspicion, lips pressed into a straight line. "A youthful werewolf? How utterly dreadful! Edward had a point; you have a knack for attracting danger. Shouldn't you be on your best behavior?" she queried, her voice dripping with disapproval.

"There's nothing wrong with werewolves," I grumbled, stung by her acid tone.

"Until they lose their tempers," Alice said, shaking her head. "Leave it to you, Bella. Anyone else would be better off when the vampires left town. But you must hang out with the first monsters you can find."

"No, Alice, the vampires didn't leave—not all to them, anyway. That's the whole trouble. Victoria would have gotten me by now if it weren't for the werewolves. Well, if it weren't for Jacob and his friends, Laurent would have gotten me before she could..."

"Victoria?" Alice hissed. "Laurent?"

I nodded, a flicker of alarm sparking in her obsidian eyes. "Danger magnet, remember?" I pointed to my chest, a hint of mischief in my voice.

Alice shook her head again. "Tell me everything. Start from the beginning.

To start, I didn't include the motorcycle or the voices. I gave Alice a full report, including today's mishap, and she didn't like my quick take on boredom and cliffs. So, I shifted to the odd flame I spotted on the water. I took a deep breath and continued talking about Harry.

Alice heard my story without interrupting me. She'd sometimes shake her head. Silence followed her, and I, too, fell mute, once more feeling the weight of Harry's loss. Charlie came to mind. What state would he be in?

"Our leaving didn't do any good at all, did it?" Alice murmured.

I laughed once. It was a slightly hysterical sound. "That was never the point, though, was it? It's not like you left for my benefit." I said.

Alice scowled at the floor for a moment. "Well... I guess I acted impulsively today. I probably shouldn't have intruded." She said.

A chill swept through me, stealing the color from my cheeks. My stomach plummeted like a stone. "Please, don't leave, Alice," I murmured, my voice barely a breath.

My fingers clutched the collar of her crisp white shirt, trembling. "Please, don't leave me," I gasped, my heart racing like a runaway train.

Alice's eyes opened wider. "All right," she said, enunciating each word slowly. "I'm not going anywhere tonight. Take a deep breath."

I tried to obey, though I couldn't quite locate my lungs.

While I focused on my breathing, Alice observed my expression. She waited for me to calm down before commenting.

"You look like hell, Bella." Alice said.

"I drowned today." I reminded her.

"It goes deeper than that. You're a mess."

I flinched. "Look, I'm doing my best." I said.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked.

"It hasn't been easy. I'm working on it."

Alice's brow creased in discontent. "I told him," she muttered quietly.

I let out a deep sigh. "Alice," I began, "what were you hoping to find? Besides, a lifeless me, of course. Did you think I'd be frolicking about whistling show tunes? You know me better than that!"

"I do. But I hoped."

"Then I guess I don't have the corner on the idiocy market."

The phone rang.

"That has to be Charlie." I said, staggering to my feet.

I seized Alice's stone hand and hauled her into my kitchen. I made sure to keep a close eye on her.

"Charlie?" I answered the phone.

"No, it's me," Jacob said.

"Jake!" I said.

Alice scrutinized my expression.

"Just making sure you were still alive." Jacob said.

"I'm fine. I told you it wasn't ---"

"Yeah. I got it. Bye."

Jacob hung up on me.

I exhaled deeply, my head tilting back to gaze at the ceiling. "Well, that's sure to be an issue," I remarked softly.

Alice squeezed my hand. "They aren't eager that I'm here?" She asked.

"Not in any way. But honestly, it's none of their concern," I responded.

Alice put her arm around me. "So what do we do now?" she mused.

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

Alice's face suddenly became careful. "I don't know for sure... but I need to go," she responded.

Would Alice leave so soon? My stomach dropped.

"Could you stay?" I begged. "Please? For a little while. I've missed you so much." My voice broke.

Alice's eyes were unhappy. "If you think that's a good idea," she said.

"I do. You can stay here---Charlie would love that." I said.

"I have a house, Bella."

I nodded, disappointment washing over me like a gentle tide. Alice paused, her gaze dissecting my demeanor. "Well, I must collect my suitcase of clothes, at the very least," she declared.

I threw my arms around her. "Alice, you're the best!" I yelled.

"And I need to hunt. Immediately." Alice said.

I took a step back. "Oops." I said.

"Can you stay out of trouble for one hour?" Alice asked skeptically.

Before I could utter a word, she raised a finger and paused. Her face transformed, becoming a smooth canvas, blank for those fleeting seconds. Then, her eyes sprang open, revealing wisdom wrapped in mystery. "Yes, you'll be fine—at least for tonight," she grimaced.

"You'll come back?" I asked.

"I promise---one hour." Alice responded.

I glanced at the clock over the kitchen table. Alice laughed, and she was gone.

I took a deep breath. Alice would be back. I felt so much better.

I had more than enough to keep myself occupied while waiting. First, I needed a shower. While undressing, I smelled my shoulders, detecting only the ocean's brine and seaweed. I questioned Alice's comment about my unpleasant odor.

After I cleaned up, I went back to the kitchen. I couldn't see any signs that Charlie had eaten recently, and he would probably be hungry when he returned. I hummed tunelessly to myself as I moved around the kitchen.

I prepared the couch with sheets and a pillow as Thursday's casserole warmed in the microwave. While Alice didn't need it, Charlie would be suspicious. I diligently avoided looking at the clock. Panicking was unnecessary.

I gulped down my dinner, hardly tasting it, the food scraping my sore throat. My thirst was the main issue. My body's high salt content led to dehydration.

I went to watch TV while I waited.

Alice was already curled up on her makeshift bed. Her eyes shimmered like liquid butterscotch, warm and inviting. She smiled, a radiant sunbeam, and patted the pillow. "Thanks," I responded, feeling the warmth of her presence.

"You're early." I said.

I sat beside her, resting my head on her shoulder. With a sigh, she embraced me with her cold arms.

"Bella, what are we going to do with you?" Alice asked.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I have been trying my hardest."

"I believe you."

It was silent.

"Do...does he..." I said as I took a deep breath. It was harder to say his name out loud, even though I could think about it now. "Does Edward know you're here?"

"No," Alice responded.

There was only one way that could be true.

"He's not with Carlisle and Esme?" I asked.

"He checks in every few months." Alice responded.

"Oh,"

I shifted my curiosity to a safer topic. "You mentioned flying here. From where did you take off?" I asked.

"I was in Denali. Visiting Tanya's family." Alice responded.

"Is Jasper here? Did he come with you?"

Alice shook her head. "He disapproved of my interfering. We promised..." She trailed off, and then her tone changed. And you think Charlie won't mind me being here?" she asked worriedly.

"Charlie thinks you're wonderful, Alice," I responded.

"Well, we're about to find out."

A few seconds later, as expected, I heard the cruiser pull into the driveway. I leaped up and quickly opened the door.

With his gaze fixed on the ground and shoulders slumped Charlie slowly walked up the path. I approached him, and he fiercely returned my embrace.

"I'm so sorry about Harry, Dad." I said.

"I'm really going to miss him," Charlie mumbled.

"How's Sue doing?"

"She seems dazed like she hasn't grasped it yet. Sam's staying with her..." The volume of Charlie's voice fluctuates. "Those poor kids. Leah's just a year older than you, and Seth is only fourteen..." He shook his head.

Charlie kept his arms tight around me as he approached the door.

"Um, dad." I warned him. "You'll never guess who's here."

Charlie stared blankly at me. Then he turned and saw a Mercedes across the street, its black paint gleaming in the porch light. Alice appeared in the doorway before he could react.

"Hi, Charlie." Alice said in a subdued voice. "I'm sorry I came at such a bad time."

"Alice Cullen?" He peered at the slight figure before him as if he doubted what his eyes were telling him. "Alice, is that you?" he asked.

"It's me." Alice confirmed. "I was in the neighborhood."

"Is Carlisle..." Charlie asked.

"No, I'm alone."

Alice and I were both aware that his question wasn't about Carlisle. He pulled me closer, his arm tightening around my shoulder.

"She can stay here, can't she?" I pleaded. "I already asked her."

"Of course." Charlie said. "We love to have you, Alice."

"Thank you, Charlie. I know it's horrid timing."

"No, it's fine. I'm going to be busy doing what I can for Harry's family; it's will be nice for Bella to have some company."

"There's dinner for you on the table, dad." I told him.

"Thanks, Bells."

Charlie gave me one more squeeze before he shuffled toward the kitchen.

I followed Alice as she returned to the couch. This time, she pulled me against her shoulder.

"You look tired." Alice said.

"Yeah," I agreed and shrugged. "Near- death experiences do that to me...So what does Carlisle think of you being here?"

"He doesn't know. He and Esme were on a hunting trip. I'll hear from him in a few days, when he gets back."

"You won't tell him though...when he checks in again?" I asked.

Alice knew I didn't mean Carlisle now.

"No. He'd bite my head off," Alice said.

I laughed once and then sighed.

Sleep was the last thing on my mind. I attempted an all-nighter, chatting with Alice. Exhaustion from almost drowning overwhelmed me, and my eyes kept closing. Leaning my head on her stone shoulder, I drifted into a more profound, peaceful oblivion than I'd expected.

I awoke early after a sound, dreamless sleep, feeling refreshed but stiff. I listened to her and Charlie's kitchen conversation on the couch under blankets meant for Alice. It seemed Charlie was making herself breakfast.

"How bad was it, Charlie?" Alice asked, and at first, I thought they were talking about the Clearwaters.

Charlie sighed. "Real bad," he responded.

"Tell me about it. I want to know exactly what happened when we left." Alice said.

"I've never felt so helpless," Charlie said, his voice a whisper. "I was in the dark, not knowing what to do. The first week felt like an endless nightmare; I feared she might need to go to the hospital. She wouldn't eat, drink, or move. Dr. Gerandy dropped words like 'catatonic' as if they were heavy stones, but I wouldn't let him see her. I was terrified it would frighten her."

Charlie took a breath and continued. "She eventually broke free from that fog, but I called Renee to take her to Florida. I didn't aspire to be the one to decide if a hospital was necessary. I thought being with her mother would help ease the burden. Yet, when we began packing her clothes, Bella erupted like a storm. I had never seen such a display before. She wasn't one for tantrums, yet this time, she was a whirlpool of fury. Clothes flew everywhere as she screamed, insisting we couldn't force her to leave. Finally, tears streamed down her face. I hoped this would be the shift we needed. When she insisted on staying, I didn't object... and for a moment, it seemed like she was improving."

Hearing this was difficult, understanding the hurt I inflicted on him.

"But?" Alice prompted.

"She returned to her routine: school, work, meals, and sleep. Homework piled up like forgotten dreams. When asked direct questions, she answered, but there was a void. Her eyes, once bright, were now dull windows to nowhere. Little signs appeared everywhere—silent music left behind, CDs shattered in the trash. Books lay untouched. She avoided rooms where the TV flickered. Not that she was a big fan before. Then it hit me—she was dodging anything that whispered his name." Charlie shared. "I barely spoke because I worried about upsetting her. Even small things made her flinch, and she shared nothing. She would answer if I asked her something. Also, she was alone all the time. She didn't call her friends back, and after a while, they stopped calling. It was the night of the living dead around here. I still hear her screaming in her sleep..." Charlie continued.

I nearly saw him shudder. I also shuddered, remembering. Then, I let out a sigh. He saw through my deception immediately.

"I'm so sorry, Charlie." Alice apologized.

"It's not your fault." Charlie's tone clarified that he was holding someone responsible. "You were always a good friend to her."

Charlie continued, his voice shifting as he spoke. "She seems better now. I've noticed an actual change since she started spending time with Jacob Black. There's a blush in her cheeks and a spark in her eyes when she walks through that door. She's genuinely happier."

Charlie hesitated, the undertone of his voice growing serious. "He's younger—a year—but I know she used to think of him as a pal. Now, though? It feels like something deeper brewing or heading that way."

"Jake's old for his years," Charlie said. "He's taken care of his father physically the way Bella took care of her mother emotionally. It matured him. He's a good-looking kid, too. He takes after his mom's side. He's good for Bella, you know."

"Then it's good she has him." Alice agreed.

With a heavy heart, Charlie heaved a sigh, surrendering to the silence. "Alright, maybe that's dramatic. I can't wrap my head around it... Even with Jacob. Occasionally, I glimpse her eyes, and it leaves me wondering—have I ever truly understood her pain? It's unnatural, not like a simple goodbye. It's as if someone's passed on." His voice trembled, breaking in the still air.

"It was like someone had died....like I had died. Because it had been more than losing the truest of true loves to kill anyone. It was also losing an entire future, a whole family. The life I'd chosen..." Charlie went on in a hopeless tone. "I don't know if she's going to get over it---I'm not sure if it's in her nature to heal from something like this. She's always been such a constant little thing. She doesn't get past things, change her mind."

"She's one of a kind." Alice agreed in a dry voice.

"And Alice..." Charlie hesitated. "Now, you know how fond I am of you, and I can tell that she's happy to see you, but... I'm a little worried about what your visit will do to her."

"So am I, Charlie, so am I. I wouldn't have come if I'd had any idea. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, honey. Who knows? Maybes, it will be good for her."

"I hope you're right."

There was a long break while Forks scraped plates and Charlie chewed. I wondered where Alice was hiding the food.

"Alice, I have to ask you something," Charlie said awkwardly.

Alice was calm. "Go ahead." She said.

"He's not coming back to visit, too, is he?" Charlie asked, hearing the suppressed anger in Charlie's voice.

Alice answered in a soft, reassuring voice. "He doesn't even know I'm here. The last time I spoke with him, we were in South America," he said.

I stiffened as I heard this new information and listened harder.

"That's something, at least." Charlie snorted. "Well, I hope he's enjoying himself."

For the first time, a shard of steel tinged Alice's voice. "Don't jump to conclusions, Charlie,"

A chair scraped loudly across the floor as it moved away from the table. I imagined Charlie rising. Water from the faucet splashed against a dish.

It didn't sound like they would say anything more about Edward, so I decided it was time to wake up. I turned over, bouncing against the springs to make them squeak. Then I yawned loudly. I stretched and groaned.

"Alice? I asked.

"I'm in the kitchen, Bella," Alice called, no hint in her voice that she suspected my eavesdropping.

Charlie's departure was necessary; he assisted Sue Clearwater with the funeral arrangements. The day would have been extended without Alice. Her departure was unannounced, and I didn't inquire about it. I expected it, but I didn't consider it. Instead, we discussed her family, excluding one member. Carlisle had a night job in Ithaca while also teaching part-time at Cornell. Esme worked on restoring a 17th-century house and a historical landmark in the woods outside of the city. Emmett and Rosalie's second honeymoon in Europe had ended, and they returned home. Jasper also studied philosophy at Cornell. Alice had been investigating the information I'd accidentally given her last spring. She successfully located the asylum where she had lived out her final years as a human. Her life, which she couldn't recall.

Except for one, the Cullens have reunited and are vacationing in Denali with Tanya and her family during Cornell's spring break. I was too eager to listen to even the most insignificant news. I'm thankful she omitted the one that interested me the most. Hearing the stories of the family I longed to join was fulfilling enough.

Not returning until after dark, Charlie appeared more haggard than the previous night. He planned to attend Harry's funeral at the reservation early the following day, so he went to bed early. I spent more time on the couch with Alice.

Before sunrise, Charlie, in a suit I'd never seen, appeared at the bottom of the stairs, almost like a stranger. The jacket was unfastened, and his tie was wider than currently fashionable. He crept to the door, careful not to disturb our sleep.

As soon as Charlie was out the door, Alice sat up. Beneath the quilt, she wore her complete outfit.

"So, what are you doing today?" Alice asked.

"I don't know---do you see anything interesting happening?" I asked.

Alice flashed a smile and gave her head a gentle shake. "But it's still early," she responded.

Because I spent so much time in La Push, I neglected my chores at home, so I did them. I aimed to ease Charlie's life however I could; a clean, organized home would make his homecoming more pleasant. I began in the bathroom; it was the most neglected area.

While I worked, Alice rested against the doorjamb. She nonchalantly inquired about my high school friends and their post-graduation activities. Her face stayed casual and emotionless, but I sensed her disapproval when she realized how little I could tell her. Maybe I felt terrible about listening to her conversation with Charlie yesterday morning.

The doorbell rang while I scrubbed the bathtub floor with Comet up to my elbows.

Immediately, I looked at Alice; her perplexed, almost worried expression was unusual.

"Hold on!" I shouted toward the front door, urgency in my voice. I sprang up, hurrying to the sink for a quick rinse of my arms.

"Bella," Alice said, her voice laced with a hint of irritation. "I've got a solid guess on who that is, so I should leave."

"Guess?" I repeated, bewildered. Since when did Alice need to guess?

"If this is a repeat of my egregious lapse in foresight yesterday, then it's most likely Jacob Black or one of his...friends." Alice responded.

I gazed at her, connections lighting up in my mind. "You can't see werewolves?" I asked, curiosity dancing in my voice.

Alice winced, a shadow of discomfort crossing her face. "So it appears," she remarked.

The doorbell rang again, buzzing twice quickly and impatiently.

"You don't have to go anywhere, Alice. You were here first." I said.

Alice's laughter danced through the air, a silvery sound with a shadowy twist. "Believe me," she teased, "it's best to avoid a room with Jacob Black and me."

Alice hugged me before disappearing through Charlie's door and out his back window.

The doorbell rang again.