Jacob and Bella Story

Chapter Seventeen

Bella’s P.O.V.

Was I experiencing another near-death experience? I disliked it; it fell short of the previous experience. Now, it was only dark. The crashing waves faded into silence. Soon, all I heard was a whooshing sound coming from my ears and a familiar voice.

“Bella?” Jacob asked, his voice still tense but not as wild as before. “Bells, baby, can you hear me?”

Inside my head, everything churned and tossed sickeningly, as if caught in a storm at sea.

“How long has she been unconscious?” someone else asked.

The other voice startled me, bringing me into sharper focus.

I realized my stillness. I felt no pull from the current. Beneath me, the flat, still surface felt grainy against my skin.

“I don’t know,” Jacob reported, still frantic. His voice was very close to mine.

Jacob’s warm hands, which always made me feel tingling, brushed my wet hair away from my face. He then caressed my face.

“A few minutes? It doesn’t take long to tow her to the beach,” Jacob said.

The sound of whooshing in my ears wasn’t the ocean but my breath. Every inhale was agony; my airways felt raw like I had scraped them with steel wool. Yet, I was still breathing.

I was freezing. Thousands of icy beads pelted my face and arms, intensifying the cold.

“She’s breathing. She’ll come around. We should get her out of the cold, though. I don’t like the color she’s turning....” I recognized Sam’s voice this time.

“You think it’s okay to move her?” Jacob asked.

“She didn’t hurt her back or anything when she fell.”

“I do not know.”

They hesitated.

I tried to open my eyes. I noticed the dark purple clouds and the freezing rain they unleashed after a moment. “Jake?” I croaked.

Jacob’s face blocked the sky as I looked at his handsome face.

Jacob’s breath hitched. “Oh!” he exclaimed, relief flooding his expression. Raindrops danced in his dark, deep-set eyes. “Oh, Bella! Are you all right? Can you hear me? Do you feel any pain?”

“J—just m-my throat,” I stuttered, my lips quivering from the cold.

“Let’s get you out of here, then,” Jacob said.

With ease, Jacob lifted me as if I weighed nothing. His chest was bare and warm, and he hunched his shoulders to keep the rain off me. My head rested on his arm. I stared blankly as the angry water pounded the sand behind him.

“You got her?” Sam asked.

“Yeah, I got it from here. Get back to the hospital. I’ll join you later. Thanks, Sam,” Jacob said.

I was still reeling from what had happened. None of Jacob’s words sank in at first. Sam remained silent. Silence reigned, and I questioned whether he had already left.

As Jacob carried me away, the angry water chased us, swirling and surging up the sandy shore. A flash of color caught my weary gaze—a small fire danced on the dark water of the distant bay. I questioned my awareness after seeing that nonsensical image. I was overcome by the memory of the dark, turbulent water and my utter disorientation. I am so disoriented, yet somehow I see Jacob.

“How did you find me?” I asked.

“I was searching for you,” Jacob responded.

Half-jogging, Jacob ran up the beach through the rain toward the road. “I followed the tired tracks to your truck, and then I heard you scream...” he shuddered. “Why would you jump, Bella? Didn’t you notice that it’s turning into a hurricane out here? Couldn’t you have waited for me?”

Anger filled his tone as the relief faded.

“Sorry,” I muttered. “It was stupid.”

“Yeah, it was foolish,” Jacob agreed, drops of rain shaking free from his hair as he nodded. “Hey, let’s keep the nonsense for when I’m around, okay? I can’t focus if you keep jumping off cliffs behind my back.”

“Sure,” I agreed. “No problem. “I sounded like a chain smoker. I tried to clear my throat and then winced; the throat clearing felt like stabbing a knife down there. “What happened today? Did you...find her?”

A shiver ran down my spine despite his excessive body heat, making me feel anything but cold.

Jacob shook his head. He was still running more than walking as he headed up the road to his house. “No. She took off into the water—the bloodsuckers have the advantage there. That’s why I raced home—I was afraid she would double back swimming. You spend so much time on the beach...” he trailed off, a catch in his throat.

“Sam came back with you... Is everyone else home, too?” I asked.

I hoped they weren’t still out searching for her.

“Yeah. Sort of,” Jacob responded.

I tried to read his expression, squinting into the hammering rain. His eyes were tight with worry or pain.

The words that had made little sense before suddenly did. “You said... hospital. Before, to Sam. Is she hurt? Did she fight you?” I asked.

“No, no. When we got back, Em was waiting for the news. It’s Harry Clearwater; Harry had a heart attack this morning,” Jacob responded.

“Harry?” I asked, shaking my head and trying to absorb his words. “Oh, no! Does Charlie know?”

“Yeah. He’s over there, too, with my dad.”

“Is Harry going to be okay?”

Jacob’s eyes narrowed like shutters closing against an unwelcome storm. “Things aren’t looking promising at the moment,” he responded with a resigned sigh.

Suddenly, I felt terrible about that stupid cliff jump. Nobody needed to worry about me right now. Seriously, what a dumb time to be reckless.

“What can I do?” I asked.

Suddenly, the rain stopped. I didn’t realize we were at Jacob’s again until he walked in. The storm beat down on the roof.

“You can stay here,” Jacob said as he dumped me on the short couch. “I mean it—right here. I’ll get you some dry clothes.”

I waited for my eyes to get used to the dark as Jacob made a racket in his room. With Billy gone, the tiny front room felt empty. It felt creepy. Maybe ’cause I knew where he was.

Jacob was back in seconds. He threw a pile of gray clothes at me. “These will be huge on you, but it’s the best I’ve got. I’ll, er, step outside so you can change.” He said.

“Don’t go anywhere. I’m too tired to move yet. Stay with me,” I begged.

Jacob sat beside me on the floor, leaning against the couch. I was curious when he’d last slept. He looked wiped out, like I felt.

Jacob rested his head on the cushion beside me and sighed. “I suppose I could catch a quick nap...” he mused.

Jacob’s eyes closed. I let mine slide shut, too.

I warmed up near Billy’s sofa by the radiator, even though I was drenched. My lungs hurt so severely that I was about to pass out. Was that sleep, or did I confuse drowning with concussions? Jacob’s soft snores lulled me to sleep. I was out like a light.

Finally, my dream became real after ages—all fuzzy memories of the Phoenix sun, my mom, a tree house, a quilt, mirrors, and a frame on dark water. I forgot them all the second the picture changed.

That last picture got to me. It was all for show—a nightly balcony with a painted moon. I saw the girl leaning on the railing in her pajamas, muttering.

Meaningless, but Juliet was on my mind when I slowly struggled back to consciousness.

Jacob was still out cold. He collapsed onto the floor, taking slow, even breaths. The house was getting darker, and it was dark outside. It was freezing, but my body was warm and almost dry. Each breath felt like fire in my throat.

I needed to get up for a drink. But my body wanted to lie here limp, never to move again. I thought about Juliet some more. I wondered what she’d have done if Romeo had dumped her, not because of the banishment, but because he wasn’t into her anymore. But what if Rosaline had been friendly to him—would he have acted differently? What if he’d vanished instead of marrying Juliet?

I thought I knew how Juliet would feel.

She wasn’t going back to her old life. She wouldn’t ever have moved on; I was sure of that. Even if Juliet lived forever, she’d always see Romeo when she shut her eyes. She would have come around, eventually.

She wouldn’t do that if she married Paris to keep her parents happy. But the story barely mentioned Paris. He was a placeholder, a threat, a deadline to push her.

What if Paris had more to offer? What if Paris and Juliet were friends? Her very best friend? What if he were the only one she could confide in about the devastating thing with Romeo? The only one who got her and made her feel human once more? Suppose he was patient and kind? What if he looked after her? What if Juliet realized she needed him to live? Perhaps his love for her motivated his desire for her happiness? And... imagine if she fell in love with Paris? Unlike Romeo. Absolutely nothing remotely similar; it was inconceivable. But enough that she genuinely wished for his happiness as well?

Jacob’s slow breaths filled the room. They were soothing, like a rocking chair and a ticking clock. There was nowhere to be at that moment, which was so comforting.

If Romeo had ditched Juliet, would it have mattered if she married Paris? She should have made do with what she had left. That might have been as happy as she could be.

I sighed and groaned, the sigh in my throat. I was overthinking the story. Romeo is stubborn, so everyone still remembers him and Juliet together. That’s what made it a good story. No one would have liked Juliet ending up with Paris after Romeo dumped her.

I shut my eyes, letting my mind wander from that stupid play. I thought about reality and how dumb it would be to jump off that cliff. It wasn’t the cliff but the bikes and Evel Knievel’s crazy stunt. What if something terrible happened to me? How would that affect Charlie? Harry’s heart attack made me see things. I didn’t want to see it because admitting the truth meant changing my life. Could I live like that?

It won’t be a walk in the park. But I should. I can do it now that I have Jacob. I couldn’t make that decision right now, though. It hurt too much. I need to think about something else.

I kept replaying that stupid afternoon in my head–the fall, the dark water, the current pulling at me, Edward’s face... I needed to think of something else, something nice. I stayed there for a while. Jacob’s hands were so warm, trying to bring me back to life... The rain was coming down hard from those dark purple clouds, and the waves were lit up by this weird fire.

That splash of color on the water looked familiar. It wasn’t a fire.

A car splashing through the mud on the road outside made me lose my concentration. I heard it stop in front, and then the doors slammed open and shut. I almost sat up, but then I changed my mind.

You could tell it was Billy, but he whispered a low mumble.

The door swung open, and the lights came on. I blinked, and everything went white. Jake shot up, gasping, all protective-like.

“Sorry,” Billy apologized. “Did we wake you?”

I stared at his face and cried when I saw his expression.

A groan escaped my lips. “Oh no, Billy!” I cried out in despair.

Billy slowly nodded, looking sad. Jake rushed to his dad and grabbed his hand. The pain made his face look weirdly childish for a grown man.

Sam pushed Billy’s chair through the door from behind. He looked distraught.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

Billy nodded. “It’s going to be hard all around,” he said.

“Where’s Charlie?” I asked.

“Your dad is still in the hospital with Sue. There are a lot of arrangements to be made.”

I swallowed hard.

“I’d better get back there,” Sam mumbled, and he ducked hastily out the door.

Billy yanked his hand from Jacob and wheeled him into his bedroom.

Jacob watched him for a minute, then sat beside me again. He buried his face in his hands. I rubbed his shoulder, not knowing what to say.

After a moment, Jacob clasped my hand, pressing it to his cheek. “How are you feeling? Are you all right?" He sighed, concern etched in his voice. “I should have taken you to a doctor or something.”

“Don’t worry about me,” I said.

Jacob turned his head to look at me. He had red, puffy eyes. “I have to, besides, you don’t look so good,” he said.

“I don’t feel so good either, I guess,” I said.

“I’ll go get your truck and then take you home—you probably ought to be there when Charlie gets back.”

“Right.”

I lay there on the sofa, waiting for him. Billy was quiet in the other room.

It didn’t take Jacob long. My truck’s engine roared unexpectedly, breaking the silence. Silent as he was, he helped me off the couch, keeping a comforting arm around me against the outdoor chill. He took the wheel, didn’t even ask, pulled me beside him, and held me tight. I rested my head on his.

“How will you get home?” I asked.

“I’m not going home. We still haven’t caught the bloodsucker, remember?” Jacob responded.

My next shudder had nothing to do with the cold.

After that, it was a muted ride. The cold air had awakened me, and my mind was alert, diligent, and swift.

What if? What was the right thing to do?

I can’t imagine life without Jacob now—the thought makes me cringe. I somehow depended on him to survive. But was it cruel to leave things as they were, like Mike said?

I once dreamed of Jacob as my brother. Now, I yearn to claim him as my own. This embrace felt far from friendly—it was tender and soothing. It wrapped around me like a warm blanket—familiar and safe. In his arms, Jacob became my safe harbor.

I could stake a claim; I had that much power within my reach, but couldn’t. I’d have to tell Jacob the truth. I already knew that. That was the fairest way to do it. I’d need to explain it perfectly so he knew I wasn’t settling—he’s way too good for me. He knew I was already messed up. I have to say, I was kinda nuts with those voices I heard. He needed the entire story before deciding to be with me.

Even though I knew it was necessary, knowing Jacob, he would still take me. He wouldn’t bother thinking it through.

I’d have to give it my all, even the broken bits. It was the fairest thing to do. Would I? Could I?

Is it so bad to make Jacob happy? Even if my love for him is weak, and part of my heart still misses my Romeo, is it wrong?

Jacob pulled up to my dark house, killing the engine. Like before, he knew what I was thinking.

I leaned into Jacob’s arm, enjoying the comforting pressure and warmth—it felt so lovely. I felt like a whole person again, a sense of wholeness settling over me like a warm blanket.

I expected Jacob to bring up Harry, but he surprised me. “Sorry,” he began, “I remember you said you felt something for me. But I sense you’re holding back, and it’s all because of him. I promise I don’t mind waiting. I want you to be okay so I can function. And I know that’s not exactly what anyone wants to hear.”

My breath quickened, a rhythmic dance that made my throat quiver. “Jacob...” I murmured.

“Hmm,” Jacob said.

I didn’t even spare Jacob a glance as I spoke. “I can’t stop thinking about him,” Bella confessed, her words drenched in yearning.

Jacob sighed deeply, his breath a whisper in the air. Our faces hovered inches apart, a world of emotions passing between us. “Look, Bella,” he said, his voice steady yet filled with urgency, “What he did was a mistake, a wrong turn.” He searched my eyes, his sincerity shining through. “As I’ve said, I would never hurt you like he did. "I’m always here for you, now and forever.” His gaze intensified. “You can count on me without reservation, I won’t be leaving your side.” I nodded with a smile. “Thanks, Jake, that means a lot to me,” I said.

Shivering, I snuggled closer to Jacob’s warmth; his touch, feather-light on my cheek, sent shivers down my spine. Like static electricity, a jolt shot through me when his fingers brushed my skin. I could never shake the unsettling feeling, a persistent chill that ran down my spine. This intense feeling, a constant, unwavering presence, leaves me wondering why it won’t go away. Without him, I’m left with a profound sense of emptiness, a feeling of utter helplessness that makes survival feel impossible. Was I falling in love with him? I am unsure. I loved him with deep affection, but did that translate to the love that consumes you? It’s a mystery to me.

Even Edward, despite his apathy, would surely want me to be as happy as circumstances allow, wouldn’t he? Would there be enough lingering, friendly emotion for him to enjoy it as much as I do? I figured he would. He wouldn’t mind me giving my friend Jacob some affection he lacks.

Jacob pulled me closer, his lips brushing my hair.

Imagine me turning my head, my lips brushing his naked shoulder... I was sure of what came next. That would be a piece of cake. An explanation tonight is unnecessary.

But could I do it? Could I betray my absent heart to save my pathetic life?

A wave of nervousness washed over me at the thought of turning my head.

Then, as if I faced immediate peril, Edward’s smooth voice murmured in my ear.

“Be happy,” he told me.

I froze, and Jacob felt me stiffen and released me, automatically reaching for the door.

I wanted to stay a minute. But I was still locked in place, listening to the echo of Edward’s voice in my head. At that moment, storm-cooled air blew through the truck cab as he tried to open the door.

“Oh!” The breath whooshed out of Jacob like someone had punched him in the gut. “Holy crap!”

At that very moment, Jacob locked the door and started the truck. I wondered what was wrong when I saw his shaking hands.

I tilted my head, curiosity dancing in my eyes. “What’s the matter?” I asked.

Jacob’s engine revved too quickly.

“Vampire,” Jacob spat out.

A wave of dizziness washed over me, draining the color from my cheeks. “What makes you so sure?” I inquired, a spark of curiosity igniting within me.

“I can smell it,” Jacob responded.

Jacob’s eyes darted like startled prey, scanning the shadowy street. His body shook with tremors, yet he seemed oblivious.

With a roar, the engine started, tires screaming as Jacob spun the truck toward our only way out. My headlights illuminated the pavement. The lights illuminated the forest’s edge, reflecting off a car opposite my home.

I gasped. “Stop!” I yelled.

I recognized the black car. Though I’m not a car enthusiast, I’m surprisingly knowledgeable about specific vehicles. The car was a Mercedes 55. I knew the horsepower and interior color. I felt the powerful engine’s purr vibrating through the frame. The rich smell of the leather and the extra-dark tint turning from noon to dusk through the windows was familiar.

It was Carlisle’s car.

“Stop!” I cried again, louder this time, because Jacob was gunning the truck down the street.

“What?” Jacob asked.

“It’s not Victoria. Stop, stop! I want to go back.”

Jacob stomped on the brakes so hard that I had to catch myself against the dashboard.

“What?” Jacob asked again, aghast.

Jacob stared at me with horror in his eyes.

“It’s Carlisle’s car! It’s the Cullens’ car. I know it,” I responded.

As Jacob watched the sunrise paint his face, his body convulsed.

I eased my hand into Jacob’s. “Hey, take it easy, Jake. Everything’s fine. There’s no threat here. Breathe and relax.”

“Yeah, calm,” Jacob panted, putting his head down and closing his eyes.

While he concentrated on not exploding into a wolf, I stared out the back window at the black car.

I told myself it was Carlisle. Expect nothing more. Maybe Esme. Stop right there. Just Carlisle. That was plenty—more than I’d ever hoped to have again.

“There could be a vampire in your house,” Jacob hissed. “And you want to go back?”

I glanced at Jacob, reluctantly tearing my gaze from the Mercedes, fearing it would vanish if I stopped looking.

“Of course,” I said, my voice blank with surprise at his question.

Of course, I wanted to go back.

As I stared, Jacob’s eyes froze into a bitter expression I thought I’d never see again. Before his mask was on, I saw betrayal flash in his eyes. His hands continued to tremble. He appeared a decade older than I was.

Jacob inhaled deeply, the air thick with uncertainty. “Are you certain this isn’t a trick?” he inquired, his voice measured and cautious.

“It’s not a trick. It’s Carlisle. Take me back!” I responded.

A tremor danced across his broad shoulders, yet his eyes remained as flat as a still lake. “No,” Jacob declared, his voice void of emotion.

“Jake, it’s okay,” I said.

“No. If you want to go back, you can take yourself back.”

Jacob’s voice was a slap—I flinched as the sound of it hit me. His jaw clenched and unclenched. I didn’t speak for a moment.

Jacob then spoke in a stern voice. “Look, Bella, I can’t go back. Treaty or no treaty, that’s my enemy there.”

“It’s not like that,” I said.

“I have to tell Sam right away. This changes things. They can’t catch us in their territory.”

“Jake, it’s not a war!”

Jacob didn’t listen. He put the truck in neutral and jumped out of the door, leaving it running.

“Bye, Bella,” Jacob called back over his shoulder. “I really hope you don’t die.”

Trembling violently, Jacob’s form appeared indistinct as he dashed into the gloom.

But remorse couldn’t hold me for long.

I scooted across the seat and shifted the truck into drive. I was shaking almost as severely as Jacob; it required a moment of focus. I then cautiously reversed the car and returned home.

Darkness fell when I switched off my headlights. In Charlie’s haste to leave, he forgot to switch on the porch light. Doubt washed over me as I stared at the shadowy house. Suppose it was a trick?

I looked back at the black car, which was almost invisible at night. No, I knew that car.

Despite this, my hands trembled more violently than before when I went to retrieve the key above the door. As I reached for the doorknob, it spun unexpectedly in my grasp. I allowed the door to swing open, and darkness filled the hallway.

I was going to say hello, but my throat was too dry; I gasped for air.

Entering the room, I groped for the light switch. The darkness was intense, like the deepest water. That switch—where was it?

My trembling fingers continued to trace the wall in my search. The light flickered on despite my not finding the switch. I opened my eyes to the bright light and saw someone waiting.