Jacob and Bella Story

Chapter Sixteen

Bella’s P.O.V.

Early the next day, I snuck a change of clothes out to the truck. Charlie would disapprove of today’s plan as much as he would disapprove of the motorcycle.

I was almost looking forward to the distraction from all my worries. That sounds like fun. A date with Jacob, a date with Edward... A dark chuckle escaped my lips. Jacob could criticize our messed-up relationship all he wanted. But I was the real problem, making the werewolf seem normal next to me.

Jacob met me outside, as always, as soon as I arrived in my loud truck. His absence made me think he was still asleep. I waited, wanting Jacob to rest as much as possible. He needed his sleep to make the day feel a little better. Jake’s prediction about the weather was correct. A heavy, oppressive cloud cover made the air feel almost sultry. I left my sweater in the truck.

I knocked quietly on the door.

“C’mon in, Bella,” Billy said.

Billy was at the kitchen table eating cold cereal.

“Is Jake sleeping?” I asked.

“Er, no,” Billy responded as he set his spoon down and his eyebrows knitted together.

“What happened?” I demanded.

I could tell from his expression that something had happened.

“Embry, Jared, and Paul crossed a fresh trail early this morning. Sam and Jake took off to help. Sam was hopeful—she had hedged herself in beside the mountains. He thinks they have a good chance of finishing this,” Billy responded.

This situation made me worry about Jacob. “Oh no, Billy,” I whispered. “Oh, no.”

Billy chuckled, deep and low. “Do you like La Push so well that you want to extend your stay here?” he asked.

“Don’t make jokes, Billy. This is too scary for that.”

“You’re right,” Billy agreed, still complacent. Billy’s ancient eyes were impossible to read. “This one’s tricky.”

I bit my lip nervously.

“It’s not as dangerous for them as you think it is. Sam knows what he’s doing. You’re the one that you should worry about. The vampire doesn’t want to fight them. She’s just trying to find a way around them... to you,” Billy said.

“How does Sam know what he’s doing?” I demanded, brushing aside his concern for me. “They’ve only killed one vampire—that could have been luck.”

“We take what we do seriously, Bella. Nothing has been forgotten. Everything they need to know has been passed down from father to son for generations.”

His attempt at comfort didn’t work as intended. Victoria’s wild, catlike, and lethal memory haunted me intensely. She would attempt to charge through the wolves if she couldn’t avoid them.

Billy went back to eating while I channel-surfed on the sofa. It was short-lived. The small room felt claustrophobic, and the covered windows upset me and closed in.

“I’ll be at the beach,” I told Billy abruptly and hurried out the door.

The outdoors wasn’t as beneficial as I’d expected. An invisible weight from the low-hanging clouds intensified my claustrophobia. As I walked toward the beach, the forest felt unusually empty. I heard no birds and an eerie silence filled the air.

When I arrived, I regretted my decision to go to the beach; I felt tired. I visited this location almost every day, roaming freely. My daily routine included solitary walks here. Was it so much different from my nightmares? What other choice was there? I trundled to the driftwood tree, sitting at its base and leaning against its knotted roots. I waited broodingly, my gaze fixed on the angry sky, for the first raindrops to break the silence.

I thought about the danger Jacob and his friends were in. Jacob was invulnerable. The idea was unbearable. My losses were immense; would fate rob me of the little peace I had left? Losing him was impossible. That wouldn’t be fair or balanced. Perhaps I broke some unstated rule, stepping over a line that sealed my fate. Maybe I erred in focusing so much on myths and legends, neglecting the human world. Maybe...

No. Nothing would happen to Jacob. I had to believe that, or I couldn’t function.

I groaned. “Argh!” I yelled as I jumped off the log.

I couldn’t sit still; it was worse than pacing.

I would like to hear from Edward this morning. Only that one thing could make this day tolerable. The hole seemed to fester as if seeking vengeance for times when Jacob’s presence had subdued it. The fire burned the edges.

The waves grew stronger as I paced, crashing against the rocks despite the lack of wind. The storm’s pressure felt overwhelming. The world spun, yet I remained stationary. The waves grew angrier farther from the shore. I watched them crash against the cliffs, sending large white clouds of spray high into the air.

The black cliffs cut a sharp line against the stormy sky. Looking at them, I saw that the day Jacob told me about Sam and his “gang” came back to me. I still had a clear memory of the spring figure falling. I imagined the utter freedom of the fall. In my head, I heard Edward’s voice—perfectly furious-and a searing pain shot through my chest.

It had to be possible to meet it somehow. The pain was becoming unbearable with each passing second. I fixed my gaze on the cliffs and the pounding surf.

Well, why not? Why not quench it right now?

Jacob had promised me cliff diving, hadn’t he? Because he was unavailable. Should I give up the distraction I needed so badly, even worse because Jacob was out risking his life? Risking it for me. Victoria would kill people elsewhere if not for my intervention. If anything happened to Jacob, I would be responsible. The sudden understanding hit me hard, and I immediately ran back to the road to get to my truck at Billy’s.

I knew the lane near the cliffs, but I had to search for the small trail leading to the ledge. I walked along the path, watching for turns or forks. Jacob intended to take me from the lower outcropping, not the summit. The narrow and twisting path offered only one direction: the edge. I couldn’t find an alternative route; the storm was approaching rapidly. I finally felt the wind as the clouds descended. The first raindrops hit my face when the dirt path opened onto the rocky cliff.

I quickly told myself I didn’t have time to explore other options. I wanted the quick thrill of jumping from the top, and this image has stayed in my mind. I longed for a long fall that would feel like flying.

This thought was the dumbest and most reckless thing I’d ever done, I realized. That thought brought a smile to my face. My pain subsided; my body sensed Edward would speak at any moment.

Thinking about how cold the ocean water likely made it seem even more distant than before. That wouldn’t deter me yet.

The wind blew stronger now, whipping the rain into eddies around me.

I went to the edge, concentrating on the emptiness ahead. Leading the way, my toes blindly felt the rock’s edge. I inhaled deeply, holding my breath in anticipation.

“Bella.” his voice said.

I smiled and exhaled.

To avoid breaking the beautiful illusion with his voice, I remained silent. His voice was lifelike and intimate. His disapproval was the only time I could genuinely recall his voice—its smooth texture and melodious tone, an utterly perfect voice.

“Don’t do this,” he pleaded.

“You wanted me to be human,” I reminded him. “Well, watch me.”

“Please. For me.”

“But you won’t stay with me any other way.”

“Please.”

His whisper was barely audible above the rain that soaked my hair and clothes, making me as wet as if I had jumped into a pool.

I rolled up onto the balls of my feet.

“No, Bella!”

He was angry now, and the anger was so lovely.

Smiling, I extended my arms as if diving, tilting my face to the rain. Years of swimming at the public pool had made it second nature to enter feet first. I bent forward, aiming for more lift, and launched myself off the cliff.

A scream of exhilaration, not fear, escaped my lips as I fell through the open air like a meteor. Gravity fought the wind’s resistance. The experience was like a rocket plummeting, sending me spinning.

My body cut through the water’s surface. Despite the ice and unexpected chill, the cold only intensified the thrill.

My pride swelled as I plunged deeper into the freezing black water. I experienced zero moments of pure terror fueled by adrenaline. I didn’t find the fall scary in the least. What was the problem?

That was when the current caught me.

I was so focused on the massive cliffs and the clear danger that I forgot about the dark water below. I never imagined that the real threat hid far below the waves.

The waves battled for me, yanking me back and forth and threatening to tear me apart. I knew that swimming parallel to the beach was better than fighting to reach the shore to avoid a riptide. Yet, that knowledge was useless since I couldn’t determine the shore’s direction.

I couldn’t even tell which way the surface was.

In every direction, the dark, angry water offered no upward guidance. The waves easily beat gravity’s pull, making it feel like there was no downward force or sinking. The force of the current spun me around uncontrollably.

I fought to keep my breath in, to keep my lips locked around my last source of oxygen.

“Keep swimming!” he begged urgently in my head.

“Where?” I asked him.

There was nothing but darkness. There was no place to swim to.

“Stop that!” he ordered. “Don’t you dare give up!”

My arms and legs went numb from the freezing water. The buffeting was less intense than before. It felt more like a dizzying, helpless spin in the water.

Yet, I listened to what he had to say. My arms strained onward, my legs pumped furiously, and my direction changed constantly. It’s counterproductive. What was the point?

“Fight!” he yelled. “Damn it, Bella keeps fighting.”

“Why?” I asked him.

I no longer wished to continue fighting. My contentment wasn’t because of lightheadedness, chills, or exhausted arms. I was almost happy that it was over. This death was more straightforward than others I had encountered. Strangely calm.

Upon seeing him, I lost all desire to fight. The memory was clear and well-defined. My subconscious perfectly preserved Edward, holding him for this last moment. His perfect face was so vivid in my mind that I could almost see his icy skin, the shape of his lips, his jawline, and the glint of gold in his furious eyes. His anger stemmed from my decision to quit. Rage caused his teeth to clench and his nostrils to flare.

“No! Bella, no!” he yelled.

Despite the icy water in my ears, his voice was more evident than before. I disregarded what he said, focusing instead on the timbre of his voice. With such happiness, why would I ever consider fighting? Despite burning my lungs and cramping my legs in the cold, I felt content. I had lost touch with what true happiness felt like.

Happiness. It made the whole dying thing bearable.

At that moment, the current pushed me sharply against a hidden rock. A solid blow to my chest felt like someone had hit me with an iron bar. I gasped, releasing a thick cloud of silver bubbles. Water rushed into my throat, searing and suffocating me. The iron bar pulled me from Edward into the ocean’s darkness.

Goodbye, my last thought was that I loved you.

At that moment, my head broke the surface.

How disorienting! I was sure I was sinking.

The current persisted relentlessly. The force of the impact threw me against more rocks. A tremendous volume of liquid poured from my mouth and nose. The salt burned my lungs. Even the iron bar that pulled me from the ocean was warm. Black spots blurred my vision as my head spun.