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1101 Words
"T-Tatalon ka ba?" Cain asked me. He looked defeated.
"N-NO!" Bumaba ako sa sahig at mabilis na itinapon ang sigarilyo— as if he hadn't just seen me inhaling the hell out of it.
"Hindi ako tatalon... 'Wag kang magalit..." Yumuko ako para itago ang mga mata kong nag-simula nanamang umiyak.
Kapag tumalon ako at hindi ako namatay, siguradong bubugbugin na naman niya ako.
"H-Hindi ako galit." Inabot niya ang braso ko. Unconsciously, iniwas ko ang sarili ko— as if my body knew he shouldn't be touching me. But I immediately knew I shouldn't have.
"S-Sorry." Kahit puno ng takot, lumapit ako sa kanya at niyakap siya.
He returned the favor, at napakahigpit ng yakap niya sa akin.
"I'm sorry, baby." He cleared his throat as if he were crying.
"Let's go to the hospital tomorrow."
Agad akong umiling.
I don't think that's a good idea.
"Why?"
I hesitated.
"I don't... want anyone to see me..."
...like this.
He looked like he understood kahit hindi ko itinuloy ang gusto kong sabihin. I can't anger him right now, so it's better to filter my words.
He just nodded, then inakay niya ako pabalik sa kwarto. Pagkasara ng pinto, para ulit akong hindi makahinga. We're here again— inside the room where all the s**t goes down.
"Did you..." he sighed. "Did you have a good talk with them?"
Napatigil ako sa paglalakad at napatingin sa kanya. I'm sure surprise was all over my face.
"Wha... Uh, I-I..."
I tried to find words, but I failed. I'm sure he heard me talking to Mom and... James. Ano-ano ang narinig niya? Galit ba siya sa mga sinabi ko?
I didn't realize I was shaking until he touched my numb hands.
"D-Don't answer that." He lifted my face and smiled at me.
Despite his smile, my nervousness didn't go away.
"Ok." Umiwas ako ng tingin. Niyakap naman niya ako ulit.
"I'm sorry, but I can't have you smoking until you've fully recovered," he said firmly.
I just nodded. No reason to deny it now.
The night went on with him feeding me, making sure I took my medication, and keeping his cigarettes out of my reach.
It's been three days since I last smoked. I'm craving it so much that I've been wandering around the house just to divert my attention. Kinuha ko ang ballpen sa lamesa at sumalampak sa sofa. I took the pen in my mouth as if I were smoking it.
I used to smoke even before— ako pa nga yata ang nagturo kay Cain mag-yosi. I don't think it actually relieves stress, and I understand it's unhealthy. But I do it because it feels good to have some sense of control over whether I'll die early or not.
I threw the pen onto the couch and sighed.
Cain's not home. He said he had something business-related and would be back tonight. I know it's kinda suffocating when he's here, pero sobrang tahimik at payapa naman ng bahay kapag wala siya. It's the first time he left me in the house alone, alam kong gusto niya lang akong bigyan ng space dahil sa huli kong melt down.
Time check— it's only 4 PM. Mamaya pa ang dating ni Cain pero parang kaninang-kanina pa ako mag-isa, and I can't take it anymore.
Habang wala pa siya, I'll continue to try to look for cigarettes.
But I searched through all the cabinets and drawers, and there was nothing. I sighed harshly and took a look around one last time.
That's when I noticed a key hanging on a key holder near the kitchen cabinet. I picked it up.
Agad akong lumapit sa front door, dala ang susi. My heart thumping like f*****g crazy.
I immediately tried to open it, but as expected— hindi gumana.
I laughed at myself. Cain is very smart. It's impossible for him to leave his keys lying around. He won't let me escape. So I sighed and pocketed the key without thinking much about it, then continued my hopeless attempt of looking for cigarettes. Binalikan ko ulit lahat ng drawers na binuksan ko kanina.
Another thing I realized while searching— wala pala talagang kahit anong telepono or gadgets sa bahay na 'to. I guess the only phone in the house is Cain's, and he takes it everywhere with him.
Nagpatuloy ako sa pag-tingin sa paligid, almost forgetting about the cigarettes. Nalibang akong ikutin ang bahay, it is the first time I paid attention to the nooks and crannies of this place, afterall.
Hanggang sa nakarating ako sa pinto papunta sa basement. I never went down there before— wala naman akong interes. But maybe the cigarettes are down there.
I reached for the knob, but it was locked. Then I remembered the key I found.
Ipinasok ko agad sa doorknob, and it clicked open. Medyo na-excite ako— it's my first time entering the basement, and I was eager to see what he was hiding.
I turned on the lights and went down. The basement was surprisingly clean. Kaunti lang ang nakatambak na gamit— most of the space was occupied by large shelves of alcohol.
Napangiti ako.
I picked up a bottle of soju and a pack of cigarettes from the shelf beside the alcohol. I checked the time and timed myself.
"Okay, I have two hours to enjoy this. Then, I'll clean up before he gets back." I giggled.
"He will never notice."
"Ponzu?"
Cain called out, but nobody answered. He had just come home from work. It was 8 PM, and the house was dark.
"Ponzu?"
He continued looking for her after setting down the food he had bought. As he walked through the house, he turned the lights on one by one.
"I locked the door. It's not possible for her to escape."
Cain spoke loudly, reminding himself that she couldn't have left. He started feeling uneasy— every passing minute without seeing Ponzu made his nerves tighten.
"She's just around here." He took deep breaths, trying to stay calm.
"Ponzu!"
He raised his voice as he headed upstairs. She wasn't in the living room or the kitchen, so he checked the office and the bedroom.
She wasn't there either.
He slowly walked down the stairs, trying to think. Then, from the corner of his eye, he noticed something— the basement door was slightly ajar.
He walked towards it.
From the gap at the bottom, he saw light seeping through.
Napatawa siya sa sarili. Lahat ng kaba niya nawala.
"This damn girl." He smirked. "Looks like she found my stash."
- Writer
