Second Chance

Chapter 12

I was thankful that I only had to stay in the hospital for a day to get fluids. I was feeling a hundred times better than I did. My head was no longer feeling smashed in. 

Today though was a whole different story, today I was getting tests done to see where my progress is at. I mentally wasn’t ready, I’d have the results within the next couple of days, but I really didn’t want to know. Mostly because I was scared on what the would reveal. A bunch of what-ifs was running through my head. What if it spread further? What if it got bigger in the area that it’s in? Then again, what if nothing happened to it at all? I was ready for this to all be over with, no matter the outcome. Was I scared yes, but I needed to start coming to terms with what might happen good or bad. I hope my family can come to terms if things turn bad. I don't want them moping around they need to be living there lives. My sickness should not be the reason they don’t live their lives being happy.

Upon entering the doctor's office, I went and checked in waiting for my name to be called back. The tests I was receiving was blood work, a chest x-ray, and a CT scan. Pretty simple test but scary at the same time. The results were endless in my situation.  Sitting here waiting patiently, I got to thinking about Seth. I wonder how he was doing and if his cancer was still gone since there will always be a small percentage that it can come back. I pray it doesn't he's too young to go through it a second time let alone a first time. Before I could dwell on that topic anymore my name was called.

"Leighton Jones," I stood up and followed the nurse into the room I was assigned, letting her take my vitals and weight. I was surprised, to see I've maintained most of my weight, I only lost a single pound. Eating wasn’t much of a want but more of a task I had to force myself to do everyday.

I sat there silently waiting for her to finish. I wasn't much of a people person so I didn't say anything to start a conversation and neither did she. 

"The doctor will be in shortly with you to go over what tests we're going to do," I just smiled at her, I already knew what tests were going to be done because we talked about it at the last appointment I had. 

Not even five minutes passed by, Dr. Bowers and the nurse walked in to get me ready for the scans I was to take as well as take vials of my blood. It didn't take long for the tests to be done and over with, I thought it would have been longer.  

"We will have your results by the end of the week. I will have a nurse call you in, and then we'll go over them. Are there any questions?"

"No, thank you, Dr. Bowers, I'll see you sometime next week." 

"Alright, see you then Miss Jones," with that he exited the room, and I was free to go. 

When I arrived home, dad was there, and so was James. I explained the tests they did and that I would have the results by the end of the week. Dad insisted on going with me, I could use someone there, in case things weren't good.  I could use that support system. 

Dinner was entertaining with everyone present. We all joked and laughed, making it enjoyable because we haven't done that in so long. It all stopped once I became sick, I think no one knew how to act anymore around me. We talked about anything and everything, just sitting there hours after we ate. I was exhausted, but I didn't want to miss this moment because I wasn't sure when it would happen again. I also didn't want to ruin there night by going to bed. 

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Today was the day I had gotten a call yesterday from Dr. Bowers to come in for the results. I was nowhere near ready for them, this could make my day, or it could break it. I sat on my bed listening to the sound of the hands ticking on the clock because there was still 3 hours before my appointment. Nothing at this point could calm my nerves down. I'm sure if I tried to eat something I would be throwing it back up within minutes and I wouldn't be able to concentrate on working on edits.

With the time ticking by it was nearing the time to leave. My dad called me downstairs to leave, so with one final big breath I let it out before heading down. The sad part was it was a short drive so I didn't have time to give myself a major pep talk, which I should have done while I was watching the clock all morning.  This was it, the moment...

My thinking was cut off when dad spoke. "You know sweetie, whatever the results are today we will get through them together." 

"Thanks, dad." I wasn't sure how to fully respond to that with my nerves being so high today, so I left it at that and gave him a small smile. He was going to be the rock that I needed if things didn't go in the right direction I want them to go. I can't keep trying to do this alone anymore.

As we made our way into the office and signed my name in, my hands started to get clammy making me wipe them on my pants.

Not before long my name was called back and we were now sitting in the room waiting for Dr. Bowers to walk in. Once he walked into the room his face wasn't anything happy and I knew something wasn't good. I only had to options things were either worse or things didn't change and I was hoping it was the second one.