Second Chance

Chapter 10

Waking up seemed like a struggle today, my body ached everywhere and I was unmotivated but something felt off. When I sat up in bed I felt something fall from my head, and upon further inspection, it was a chunk of my hair. Tears started welling up in my eyes. I knew this would happen at some point but I was hoping to be lucky and not lose my hair. Forcing myself out of bed to take in the damage of my hair, it wasn’t as bad as I was thinking, the few spots I had lost were able to be covered.

Now was the hard decision to shave my head or not. I wanted to get it done and over with but at the same time, I wasn’t ready for that reality. Searching for my camera I took a picture of the new effects of the chemo. 

In the long run, I ended up breaking down and crying in the bathroom with the clipper in my hand. I wanted to get it over with before more started falling out and I was left with noticeable patches. As the clippers touched my head and started shaving away my hair I cried every harder. This was a big step for me but I needed to overcome it, I could always wear wigs when I go out and wear a bandanna around the house. Everyone seemed to be awake and downstairs already so it was now or never.

I was a nervous wreck making my way into the kitchen. As soon as I stepped foot into the room everyone went silent and just watched me, but that changed when dad spoke up.

“Sweetie, your hair, what happened?” I could hear the sadness in his voice even though he was trying to not to show it on his face.

With a shaky breath and a heavy sigh, I turned to everyone and said “I woke up this morning to chunks of my hair falling out. So I took it upon my self and shaved the rest off.”

With a sad smile, he responded with “ you're still beautiful without your hair” and with that everyone returned back to what they were doing while I grabbed my self some breakfast.

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After breakfast, I decided I need to go out and buy some bandannas and see if I could find any wigs for a decent price. I didn’t have any at the house so I needed to suck it up and go out in public without anything over my bald head. What was nice was Hope was tagging along with me so she could get a few things and we could spend time together. 

Putting on some leggings and a band tee along with some makeup, just so I didn’t look so pale and sick, I grabbed my wallet, phone, and keys. The first thing I wanted to get where the bandanas so I could wear one. My confidence without anything there can only last so long, and I didn’t want people to stare at me even though with something on they still will, I’ll feel a little better about myself.

Luckily we didn’t live far from the mall so we were able to walk and be there within 10 minutes. 

Arriving at the mall was scary for me I wasn’t ready for anyone to see me without hair whether they knew me or not. It was a given id run into someone I knew today, I had this gut feeling. With luck right before we were going to walk into a*****e, we ran into Luca and a girl that was clingy to his side. I’m assuming she was the girlfriend.

There was shock all over his face when he approached us “Hey Hope, Leighton you shaved your hair.” It was more of a statement rather than a question and it had me standing there awkwardly. The guy I liked was seeing me like this and it was not what I wanted at all, then on top of things he was with his girlfriend. 

Before I could respond back to him his girlfriend spoke up “Why would you do that?” I was a little shock to her response. She didn’t know me but yet she was judging me.

Clearing my throat I responded back with “Well when you wake up with chunks of your hair falling out from being sick your not left with much of a choice I guess.” I knew I didn’t need to explain myself but it as kind of a response to both of them. This girl just looked at me like I was contagious and turned to Luca. “Can we go now, you promised we’d spend the day shopping.”

I was a little surprised when he turned to look at her with the biggest smile and bid us goodbye. I was a little peeved he didn’t say anything about how rude she was to us or more less to me. That just shows he’s a grade-A asshole and her a b***h. 

I wasn’t going to let that bother me I needed to get into this store and find me something to cover my head up until I could get a decent wig. Hope gave me a sad smile and we walked into the store.

After that horrible encounter with Luca and that girl the day with Hope went a lot better we had fun hanging out and I was able to find some bandanas in different colors that I can wear around the house and to my appoints. I was also able to find a wig that I liked for cheap and need to recolor, I’m thinking maybe doing teal and magenta color. 

Now I just wanted to go home and rest up for the rest of the night to forget about the bad events that happened at the mall. Dad had dinner ready and waiting for us upon arriving. Like always, I forced myself to eat to make every happy and to help out with my weight. No one brought up the topic of me shaving my head, to which I was thankful for.