Drop In A Bucket List

Chapter 3 Save a cowboy, ride a horse.

“Save a cowboy, ride a horse.”

Decked out in a hot button-down shirt and black cowboy boots, I showed up to ride a mother flipping horse.  The country music blaring from my car stereo helped put me in the mood for what I was about to do. 

I consider myself a fairly brave person, but there is something slightly intimidating about a horse.  They are without a doubt one of the most beautiful creatures God ever created, but when you get right next to a thousand pounds of muscle, it’s easy to feel fragile.

With Lauri, Leslie, and Ashley by my side we patiently waited while the horses were saddled.  A big grey mare named Misty was my challenge for the day.  I got nominated to ride first.  So before I could talk myself out of it, or allow fear to creep in, I put my foot in a stirrup and climbed onto Misty’s back.  Deep breathes.  I had ridden horses before, but not in years.  I took the reigns in my hands and for the first time in months, I felt in control.

I took Misty for a walk around the corral before I led her into a pasture.  If I closed my eyes, for just a moment, I felt free.  All the worries that plagued my mind on a daily basis melted away for a few blissful moments.  Why hadn’t I done this all along?

All the other girls took turns riding Misty.  We laughed, took pictures, and had a blast.  As the sunset on our fun filled afternoon, I took a moment to drink it all in.  This is who I am.  I’m a woman who will jump on the back of a horse just to say I did it.  This is who I want to be.  In that moment I promised myself to never look back.  I knew I could fill my time trying to figure out how my marriage had gone so wrong, but in the end the “why” didn’t matter, the conclusion was still the same.  From now on I’m not looking back.  I’m looking forward.  I have two handsome little boys and since I’ll be doing most of the parenting on my own, I want them to grow up fearless.  The people who are happiest in life are the ones that take risks.  The beauty of taking a risk I knowing you might fail, but having the guts to know you’ll be okay even if you do. 

Man, that was one important horseback ride.