Emotional Decorum

It hasn’t rained as much as was expected since the new season. The weather was more of ‘you- don’t- need- to- step- out, all- you- need- is- provided, call- your -man-to-come- over euphoria and that wasn’t healthy for Viyora. She had just survived a very toxic relationship with Brian. Way more head-over-heels than Viyora. Brian was uneducated, had one or two businesses here and there and wasn’t doing so well. But his physical appearance spoke a lot more than his pockets did. Viyola kills quickly because of good physics.This probably made her unfortunate because she never dated her kind of men. Sitting upside down on her couch with her legs against the wall, she stared blankly at the ankle socks she wore to keep warm. Then she let her thoughts drift, she stared at her legs, she wasn’t one to think about the government. Using her eyes to trace the scanty hairs on her legs, she wondered where they came from (Viyora would wax her whole leg because there was nothing left to be waxed in her body). She hated the idea of hair on a woman’s body. She let her eyes lead her thoughts as she tried so hard not to think of her most recent relationship. She observed her knee had gotten darker, so she blamed it on her cream and how she couldn’t wait to start earning so she could enroll in an expensive skincare that would change her life. Letting her eyes lead all the way up to her belly, she could see the bump was forming right above her waist line. She wasn’t pregnant because she had seen a doctor for the hundredth time and he confirmed she was not pregnant and threatened to tell her mom of her worries and she should cut down her protein intake. So, it was the food! She stared closely in annoyance without knowing exactly what to say. She had recently changed her meals to literally anything she had laid her hands on since the breakup with Brian. She didn’t think it was necessary to bother about her looks, since she simply wasn’t interested in men anymore, or so she thought. Then came the most relatable feelings she had since her twenties; she hated herself, her body, her life and she wished she would travel so far away and start a new life or better still die and come back to life with a zero-body count and a clean memory. Reaching out to the box of chocolate on the lamp stand, she remembered she was menstruating and that accounted not only for the weird thoughts but also for the bump in her belly. Then she thought of him. Viyora had gone to a friend's wedding ceremony, a perfect place to appear like what you’re not and was sitting alone when Brian walked up to her looking like a six-course meal. He was one of the groomsmen, so how come she never noticed him? She stared right into his eyes as he approached her, their eyes locked for a second. He was tall, really tall! His shoulders were right about the appropriate portion, not so broad, not so normal, he had darker skin but what girls her age considered chocolate. You could tell from his head that he had hair wherever was required and in a wholesome quantity. He had a gap between his incisors and it was a clean gap. It made his smile so alluring that you would smile back at him whenever. His face, cheeky like he was expected to be short and fat, yet his hairline right on his forehead was a clean square line with no single obstruction. He had long slim and tender hands that originated from a gym pool that only bread long and sleek cells. He was handsome in a way that you would think he owned a major share in Meta. The meeting seemed quite natural since it was the first since the wedding. Viyora wanted a date. A proper date on the first encounter and this was a basic red flag, so she kept the conversation open and avoided grey spots. They talked about their childhood, family, adolescence, and everything that presented itself as a topic between a girl with a dying interest and a man with the fire needed for the two. Uncanny for her was how he had more to say than her the female. Viyora expected a man to have less to say, so while he talked, she found herself lost, wondering what their first kiss would look like and if she would like him enough to let him touch her. But she was bored, so she began listening to what he said and when she reached out to pass the kitchen towel to him to dry his hands, he grabbed her in a gentle but determined way until she was in his embrace. Close enough to feel his racing heart without even touching him. He stared into her eyes in a way to announce that he was making a decision without her consent and just when she blinked, he drove his lips into hers. The effect hit Viyora, sending torrents of current through her spine. Was it because his lips were unexpectedly soft or because she felt hers were or because she didn’t expect him to be better than her ex at kissing or because she had not thought so much of him? This man understood the assignment of lip movement, so for that moment she shot herself out and decided to flow with the moment. It was beautiful or she was starving. She studied his movements. It was nothing like her ex. He was caring, overly gentle, listening yet demanding, he was so intense and cool at the same time, he was alive to every single move she made and yet wasn’t struggling. He was in control and he played well at it until Viyola ended his reign and the relationship six months later.