THE STRIPPER (MXM)

I rushed her here as soon as I could when it happened. I stared at her sleep drug induced face, and although she had never been one for liking to take drugs, even if they did make her ill health better, her unconscious mind was taking to it quite well, noticing how peaceful and at ease she looked right then, as I sat beside her bedside, waiting, staring hoping in pensive silence that the news the doctor had told me an hour ago couldn't be true. How could so tragic make her look so peaceful? Beep beep beep beep beep beep. So I took to talking to her instead, thinking, someonhow in my deluded mind, maybe she'd answer me with a reply. “You remember how you used to push the merry go round really fast because I asked? You'd complain that our arms were sore for ages afterwards.” I said, reminiscing about the past as though she were still there with me, breathing, healthy, happy. Alive. Not the unmoving and unconscious corpse that I was looking down at. Had she already died and I was just mourning someone who wasn't here anymore? Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. The stark contrast gave me a jolt of regret into reality. “You remember those days, don't you? We should recreate it, just for old times sake. I promise I won't make your arms sore this time,” I joked, trying to grasp at anything that would grant me a reaction from her. All I got was a machine's continuous beep beep noise. I glared at it but I couldn't blame it for doing its job, letting my mum be with me while she still could/had the time to. Still I tried. “We could go to that stor me you like after we're done? Or anywhere you like,” I mended, offering her what sounded like a good hell of a time in her book. Still, nothing, just beep, beep beep. I don't think I could hear her steady breathing, even, at this point. It was as silent as a grave. I broke, throwing half of my body, but not with so much force that I hurt her, on top of her as the wail broke through me. “Mum, please, you can't die, you can't leave me here, I still need you.” I begged, pleading with her unconscious figure to stay with me for a little while longer on this planet. “Stay alive, just for a little while longer. Please. For me,” I say into her hospital gown. Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep. By now, her hospital gown was stained with my tears. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up. The sympathetic nurse smiled at me. “Visiting hours are over but you can come in at 8am tomorrow.” I didn't want to leave but I didn't want to look ungrateful; she probably had other patients she needed to check in on. So I sniffed one last time, nodded and got up to get going. But as I walking out my mum's hospital room, I looked back at her face. I will do anything to keep her alive. Anything. Mum, I promise you. I love you.