Fake hope

Have you felt like darkness inside your head ? spreading all over your brain not letting anything get inside. You can't hear or see anything but a black frame in front of you while you don't know even what is going on with your life, just letting it go and go till it fails you when you fall into a big dark hole full of fear and sadness. You don't even know how to escape or even see light in that time. All you have to do is just give up your life and wait for someone to rescue you. This is me "Noth", a sad, depressed guy that has never felt the taste of life. All I have seen in my life is war between thoughts and bombs of overthinking at night. I don't even have an hour of sleep watching all the people having fun with their girlfriends or boyfriends and families. I always wish and pray for somebody to appear in my life and save me from.... myself ? Sometimes I don't even know why I am even fighting for life, and still living till this moment. I really don't understand how the world works or even how people try their best to do something that will disappear after a certain amount of time and they know exactly this and keep trying and trying till they lose everything. I think they don't understand that we are born to die and like that everything ends in a certain way. Also, people don't consider thinking about the gap between the different social groups and how a person can live better than others while all of us are humans. Do you think this is fair ?! I am sorry, I didn't introduce myself to you. I am Nothing.A.Jameson a depressed 17-year-old guy whose all his thoughts are dark and deep. I don't think I have got some good sides unless I didn't notice some. Who knows? Anyway, I think I have been talking about myself too much. First, let me tell you why I am depressed.