LOVING THE MADMAN

The Taste of Refusal

My orgasm approached.

I parted my legs wider, unable to look away from Troy as his other hand slid up to press against my c**t. Gasping at the dizzying, electric sensation, I tried to catch his wrist, lest I pass out from pleasure, but he didn't let me.

He withdrew his fingers from me, slick with my transparent juices, and grabbed my hands, pinning them above my head.

“Don't move them,” he gruffed with a hard stare.

I nodded weakly.

Then he lowered his head and closed his mouth over my p***y. A moan burst from my mouth. Every nerve in my body screamed to touch him, to run my fingers through his short hair, to pull his head closer, pressing him deeper into my mound… but his command pinned me just as effectively as his hands had.

All I could do was writhe beneath him helplessly as his talented tongue worked wonders on me.

Just as I was about to explode into a million pieces, a sharp crack, like a twig snapping, cut through the air.

Troy stilled immediately. In one second, he'd moved and grabbed my dress, yanking it over my head. In the next, he scooped me into his arms and moved soundlessly toward the shadow of a massive tree, where he pressed me against the rough bark.

My mind was still spinning, my legs still shaking from unfulfilled pleasure.

My mind was foggy, craving only release. As Troy peered out from behind the trunk, scanning for whatever had made the sound, I held onto his vest like a spoiled child, rising on my toes to press kisses along his neck.

It was stupid and reckless. We could be caught, but I couldn’t think straight.

“Shh,” he hissed, turning to face me. His eyes were no longer human, now glowing a feral yellow, the lycan inside him staring back at me.

A squirrel—the apparent source of the noise—darted across the grass, and Troy finally exhaled in relief, stepping back from the tree.

A squirrel had interrupted our moment.

A f*****g squirrel.

Troy wouldn’t even look at me anymore. And my heart plummeted.

“It was just a squirrel,” I said softly, like he didn’t already know.

“We could’ve been caught,” he muttered through his teeth.

“So? Who cares?” I replied, trying to keep the desperation out of my tone as I tugged my dress back into place.

“I do,” he said flatly. “I care.”

A cold silence stretched between us.

“So, this is it?” I asked quietly. “We just… go our separate ways and pretend nothing happened?”

“What would you have me do, Athena?”

“You can’t fight this,” I said, my voice rising. “You can’t fight the mating bond.”

It was the first time I’d said it out loud.

Troy grew dangerously still. “It’s not the mating bond,” he said coldly.

I folded my arms. “Oh, really? Then what is it? Enlighten me.”

He went silent, turning to leave. I stepped in front of him, blocking his path.

“You can’t keep doing this,” I hissed. “You can’t keep toying with me, Ryder.”

“I’m sorry.”

I scoffed. “You’re sorry?” I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. “I don't want your f*****g apology. You’re the one who kissed me at the lake, dragging all these feelings back up. I was finally moving on!”

“Moving on,” he sneered, stepping closer, “with that mediocre werewolf?”

“That ‘mediocre wolf’ treats me better than you ever have,” I shot back. “And I deserve better.”

“You’re right.” His face softened. “You really do, Athena. I can’t give you better. I can’t give you what you want.” He raked a hand over his buzzed hair, frustration smeared across his face. “We can’t be together. We shouldn’t be feeding this. I’m sorry for…”

“Don’t,” I cut in, shaking my head. “Don’t you dare apologize for kissing me or for tonight.”

He stared at me.

After a long moment, I spoke again, my tone cold. “Why are you working for Stacy’s father?”

Troy hesitated before replying, “Alpha Zephyr suspended me for killing the Beta who…”

“Brock,” I corrected sharply. “His name was Brock.”

“Whatever,” he gruffed.

“You could’ve gone anywhere,” I continued. “Why here?”

It took him a long time to answer. “Because I wanted to be close to you.”

I went still, letting his words sink in. Finally, I replied, my voice full of anger and hurt. “You should’ve f*****g stayed away.”

Then I turned and walked back into the mansion, leaving him in the shadows.

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Troy stayed away.

Crossing paths was inevitable, but even when we did, we acted like strangers.

I didn't steal glances at him, and neither did he.

Five months went by like an autumn breeze. His contract with Stacy's father expired, and, without much talk, he left, returning to work for Zephyr.

I missed him. By the moon goddess, I missed him so much. But I forced myself to move forward.

Landon began showing up more often. To my surprise, my family liked him. He somehow charmed his way in.

My mother adored him the most. My brothers were slower to warm, but eventually they did. Only Slade remained suspicious, though at least he’d stopped looking like he wanted to tear Landon apart on sight.

Landon was a good man from a respected pack, and that seemed to be enough for my parents.

“Why won’t you let me photograph you?” he asked one evening. “I’ve heard how striking PaleMoons are. It would be one of my best pieces yet… maybe even a centerpiece of my collection.”

Werewolves were bound to shift under the full moon, but we could also shift at will, although not as painlessly and seamlessly as Lycans.

The process of every bone breaking and reshaping itself into the body of a wolf was painful even to those of us who’d done it a thousand times, but it was something we'd grown accustomed to.

Choosing to transform for someone by my own will and not under the full moon’s pull was intimate to me, and I wasn’t there yet with Landon. Even if he didn’t have to watch the shift itself, the idea of transforming at all just so he could photograph me felt like a level of vulnerability I wasn't ready to share with him yet.

In my mind, it was the supernatural equivalent of posing naked for a camera, which was a kind of exposure I wasn’t ready for.

“Landon…” I began softly, pushing myself up from where I’d been sprawled on the couch. We were at his apartment downtown.

“Maybe some other time. I’m just not…” I hesitated, searching for a reason. “Ash doesn’t feel like it.”

Landon tilted his head, arching an eyebrow. “Ash or you? Stop blaming the poor wolf.”

He moved closer, sinking onto the couch beside me. His tone softened. “You’re so closed off,” he said, resting a hand on my knee. “It’s like you’ve built this wall that keeps me out. Whoever he was, I know he hurt you.”

My gaze dropped to the floor. I couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I won’t, Athena,” Landon said gently. “I won’t hurt you. Not if you let me in.”

His fingers slid up to trace the outline of my ear.

“It's not that easy,” I whispered.

“We've got time,” he said softly. “There's no rush.”

I gave him a warm smile, mouthing a quiet “thank you.”

For months Landon had been patient and understanding, never questioning why I still guarded my heart.

And in that moment I finally realized just how patient he had been.

He leaned toward me slowly, a bit hesitant at first, like he was unsure I would stop him before he got too close.

His eyes searched mine, silently asking for permission. But before he could close the gap, I lifted my hands to the back of his neck, my fingers threading into his soft brown curls there, and pulled him down to me. Our mouths clashed in a kiss that started out tentative but soon deepened with warmth.

It was our first kiss since the evening we’d met, and somehow it felt like the first real step toward something new.

Landon felt and tasted like trust… like a clean slate. Well, and also coffee.

I shifted, moving into his lap. His hands slid to my waist, holding me gently, in contrast to how strong his arms were.

I pulled gently on his curls, guiding him deeper into the kiss, feeling the tension of Troy inside me start to ease up.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, a memory of Troy, of everything we hadn’t been able to be, still endured.

But it wasn't as strong.

Sitting there on Landon's lap, kissing him, with his hands on me, I realized I was finally ready to put Troy behind me.

This was a new beginning.

There was no going back to the stone-faced bodyguard. I wasn’t about to ruin what I had with Landon for someone who found the idea of us being mates so repulsive he refused to even admit it.

As for the mating bond, if things with Landon became serious, I’d have to face Troy again to reject the bond before I could truly be with Landon. It wasn’t as simple as it sounded, but I hoped that once it was severed, the intense pull I felt toward Troy would finally fade, and I'd be free.