LOVING THE MADMAN

Back to the North

TROY

I never understood why people returned to the ones who had broken them, the ones who had scarred them the deepest.

Whenever I saw it in movies, I’d scoff and criticize their choices, telling myself I’d never be that foolish.

It made no sense to me why they went back, why they reopened wounds that had barely healed.

But I understood now.

I had unfinished business with the Accursed… with Fugrak and Miles, his brother.

The nightmares hadn’t stopped. Maybe if I went back, if I faced him and dragged whatever it was out into the light… maybe if I got closure, they would.

So, I found myself on a plane bound for the North Pacific, back to the place that had shaped me.

The place that had taught me how to kill.

How to embrace the raw, feral truth of Dregoth.

The pack grounds hadn’t changed. The land was the same, though the buildings had been given new life. Even after all these years, they still didn't leave their cold northern region.

They would never relocate or abandon the soil their ancestors had bled into.

Long ago, the Accursed—just four wolves then, a single family—had been exiled by the first council of elders to the abandoned lands of the north for their brutality. Generations passed, and the stories I’d been told as a youngling said their savagery had become a tradition, passed down to each generation.

Even so, they’d never left, not once.

Mara had always said they’d die here. To relocate would be unthinkable. Tradition bound them to the land.

As I walked across the grounds, most eyes didn't recognize me.

Ten years was a long time. I’d left at twenty and never looked back. New children had been born, new warriors raised, faces I didn’t know, faces that didn’t know me, but they still stared as I moved through them.

Two warriors finally stepped in my path.

“State your name and business,” one demanded. A jagged scar ran across his left cheek.

The other said nothing, watching me with serious eyes.

Onlookers turned to stare.

“Troy Ryder,” I replied. “I’m here to see the Alpha, Fugrak.”

Their eyes rounded. They exchanged a glance, mouthing my name again.

“The Madman?” the silent one asked, finally.

Gasps sounded out from the onlookers.

I clenched my fist, gritting my jaw.

That f*****g nickname again.

“Yes,” I said, through my teeth. “The Madman.”

“Forgive us,” the scarred one stammered. “We’ll take you to the Alpha immediately.”

They parted for me, and we moved on. Children scurried out of our path.

Soon we stepped into a small building, where inside, Fugrak sat at the head of a meeting.

He looked up mid-sentence, saw me, and froze. Lifting a hand, he silenced whoever had been speaking, as the scarred guard bent to whisper in his ear while I waited with the other, a respectful distance away.

Murmurs broke out among the gathered wolves until Fugrak rose. “We’ll reconvene later,” he announced curtly. “Leave us.”

Reluctantly, they filed out.

He turned to the guards. “Bring Mara. And then leave. I want no one else here.”

“Yes, Alpha.” They obeyed, leaving and shutting the door behind them.

A deafening silence settled.

“Well, well, well,” Fugrak drawled at last, his smile bitter. “Look who decided to show up. The prodigal son returns.”

“Fugrak,” I said flatly, stepping forward.

“What brings you back?”

“Where’s Miles?” I asked in response, evading Fugrak’s question as I sauntered around the room, arms folded behind my back.

Miles, his brother. I hated him from the depths of my heart, so much that hearing his name alone made my blood boil.

He’d always been the first to volunteer when punishments were handed down, always eager to hold me still while they broke me.

Fugrak opened his mouth to answer, but the doors burst open before he could speak. Mara breezed in, her face breaking into a smile the moment she saw me.

“Mykan’ru,” she cried out in her native tongue, her arms spread wide. It meant my little lycan.

“Ma,” I called softly, my chest warming up as I caught her, lifting her off her feet and spinning her once.

“Oh, look at you,” she said, once I set her down, brushing a tear from her cheek and swatting my thigh. “My sweet boy. Why did you wait so long to come back?”

“I’m sorry, Ma.”

Mara had always been kind. Although childless herself, she’d raised me as if I were hers. She couldn’t always stand up to Fugrak when punishments came, but afterward, she was there, tending my wounds, comforting me.

Maybe that was why I believed Fugrak could be so merciless… He’d never known what it was to love a child.

“How long will you stay with us?” she asked, taking my hand and drawing me toward a vast table where trays of fruit waited. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving today. Have you eaten? Here, try some grapes. I’ll have a maid bring…”

“Ma,” I cut in with a soft laugh. “I’m fine.”

Fugrak’s scoff snapped our attention back to him.

“He abandoned us, Mara,” he said, his tone miffed. “We raised him, and he left us, yet you treat him like…”

“Fugrak.” She cut in angrily. “Enough.”

Then she turned back to me, her expression softening once again as she touched my arm. “Come,” she said happily. “I’ll show you to your room. You’ll shower, eat, and rest. We can talk after. You must be exhausted.”

She began leading me toward the doors while Fugrak stewed in silence behind us.

“Don’t mind your father,” she murmured.

I followed Mara out of the building and into another, far grander one. Women in the hallways giggled and nudged one another as we passed, their eyes dwelling on me.

We started up the stairs.

“The last two floors are reserved for us and close friends or allies,” Mara explained. “The other floors belong to the rest of the pack.”

I nodded, looking around at the well-painted and modern fixtures. The place was better designed than I remembered.

“How’s life over there?” she asked as we rounded the corner on the top floor. “Where are you even based now? You never call. You never write. I’m certain you got my letters.” She stopped at a door, hands on her hips. “You should be scolded for that.”

As cold as it sounded, when I left the Accursed, I’d meant to cut every tie, including hers. Her messages had gone unanswered for a reason.

“I’m sorry, Ma,” I said again.

She shook her head and pushed the door open. “You keep apologizing.”

We stepped inside. The room was large, warm, and well-furnished.

“Where’s your stuff?” she asked.

“I won’t be staying long.” I replied with a shrug. “I didn’t bring anything.”

Her eyes narrowed as she shook her head in disapproval. “I’ll have someone bring you the basics… clothes, a brush, and toothpaste. And food.”

“Thanks, Ma.”

She smiled lightly. “Rest and enjoy your room. We’ll talk later this evening.”

Mara walked out, closing the door behind her.

I dropped onto the bed and checked my phone. There were no calls or texts from anyone. Not even Garrett.

I’d taken a week’s leave to come here, to face old demons, and yet my best buddy hadn’t even checked in. Perhaps he was occupied.

Instagram chimed with a notification: Athena_Davis posted a photo.

I silently debated for a moment on whether to click it or not.

I had to forget her. I was trying to.

These past weeks had been hell without her.

So I gave in and tapped the notification.

A picture filled my screen. The first slide was Athena with that mediocre wolf from the diner. Her laughing with him. The second slide was of her kissing his cheek. Third, was of her in a bikini beside him at a pool.

My grip on the phone tightened until the case creaked. They were obviously dating.

It had been a month since I left Huck and went back to Zephyr… a month since I’d last seen her.

Back when I still worked for Stacy’s father, after our fight at the lakeside, Athena and I still saw each other, but we didn't speak. Then she’d stopped coming over as often; instead, Stacy would visit her, and they’d stay locked up in her room while I waited downstairs.

I started relying on her social media just to feel connected. Stalking her profiles became my only way to know how she was doing. Her pictures were the only thing that could calm me after the nightmares.

And now she was with that bozo.

The thought of him touching her, kissing her, and holding her made me mad.

I locked my phone and hurled it onto the bed.

She was my mate.

Not Landon’s.

Mine.

As long as the mating bond still existed, as long as it burned between us, it would be my face she pictured when she was with him. My voice echoing in her mind. My name on the tip of her tongue.

It was only a matter of time before she came back to end the bond, and when that moment came, I had no intention of letting her walk away again.