The Assassin's Kryptonite

I need to

“No…. you lied to me.”

“Camille, please…. Listen.”

“No! you don’t get to tell me to listen to your bullshits again! You’re a liar! A liar! And I hate you so much!”

“No. you don’t understand--”

“Shut up! Shut the f**k up, you are lying bastard!” I can’t help but lose control of my temper. I’m so pissed. I’m so mad and if I don’t get away from him now, I might really kill him with my bare hands even if that means that I’ll be left alone on this island.

“Camille!”

I immediately heard him calling me when I started walking away. Actually, I passed walking, I need to run. So, I did.

“Camille! Please listen!”

No, you don’t get to fool me again Trevor Helios. I’m done taking your bullshits.

I was able to reach the mansion in no time. I went to the bedroom and used all of my energy to find my clothes. My real clothes! The ones that I’ve brought here! No, the ones that I wore when some psychopath decided to kidnap me and bring me to this f*****g island!

I was able to find my knee-high boots under the bed and was about to rummage the boxes when the door opened.

“Camille…. Just please listen. Please.”

It pains me to hear his voice. His voice is so soft and mellow that would easily put me to sleep. The voice he used when he wanted me to listen to him when he was teaching me survival skills. The voice he uses when I’m bored and when I’m sad. I hate it. I hate it because his voice comforts me and now hearing it makes me want to cry. I hate it.

“Camille….” It’s a good thing that he’s standing away from me. He's at the door and thank God he is because I don’t know what I’d do to him if he touched me or breathed near me. I don’t know what I’m going to do and I’m mad and I’m scared, and I hate how I feel.

“Please…. Camille…. Just listen,” he exclaimed as I felt him near me. so, I had no choice. He needs to get away.

“If you come near me again, it’s not just going to be a slap, Trevor Helios. It’s not just going to be a slap because I could kill you the next time. So, get the hell out of my face!” I don’t know how I did it but I’m pushing him and for some reason I was able to make him stumble backwards.

Maybe when you’re mad you just get stronger. Because of all the adrenaline and the fact that if you don’t get stronger, no one will. It’s just you and yourself. And I hate how I feel so lonely now.

I was able to push the fact that I’m nowhere near my family. I was abducted and I might die. I was able to put all those thoughts to the deepest portions of my brain because if I won’t do that, I’ll be crazy.

I’ll turn crazy and I will destroy myself. It would cost me my sanity, so I tried hard. And Trevor helped me with it. He helped me forget. He helped me believe that I’m going to live. He made me think that I still have a chance at a normal and happy life.

And now he’s taking it all back. Now, he’s making me think that I’ll die on this island alone. I’ll die and I won’t be able to see my parents again. I’ll die and no one will even remember me. I’ll die and I’ll just be gone. I’ll die and it would be nothing but sad news. I’ll die for nothing.

I’ll die. I’ll die. I’ll die.

“Please Camile…. Just listen to me, please. I didn’t know please.”

And now I’m on the floor with Trevor Helios hugging me. How did I end up on the floor with the man I want to stab right now? Why am I even being here? Why am I here doing nothing about the fact that I’m kidnapped and this man who was holding me might even be an accomplice?

“Camille, calm down.”

“Calm down? Really Trevor Helios? Calm down?” I can’t believe what he just told me. “Calm down? That’s what you can say right now? Just calm down?” I heard how chilly my voice is and I was scared for myself because I knew from that second forward that I’m losing it.

“Calm down? Huh, Trevor Helios? Or is that even your name? Are you really Trevor Helios? Or is that part of the plot you’re doing here?”

“No, I’m Trevor Camille. I’m Trevor. Please believe me.”

“Believe you? Are you kidding me? You’re asking me to believe you now? Now?! You are f*****g bastard!”

And then it hit me. Hard. I was hitting him with all my might, and he wasn’t even stopping me. Why isn’t he stopping me? Why isn’t he defending himself?

“What?! Are you just going to let me beat you to death because I will! I will be f*****g beat you to death until you tell me how to f*****g get away from this island! What?!”

I was hitting his chest. And then when I didn’t get any reaction, I started hitting his face. Slapping him from left to right hoping that by doing that, I will feel better. I hit him repeatedly waiting for the pain to subside.

But nothing. No response from him and no pain subsiding. I saw blood in his lips and still, there’s nothing.

“What?! Say something you jerk! You repeatedly told me to listen and now you can’t say anything?! Tell me how to f*****g go home! I want to go home!”

I miss my parents so much. I miss my life so much. I miss the normal. I miss feeling normal and I don’t think I will ever feel that way on this island with Trevor. Because here, all I feel is fear. In here all I fear is excitement for every day. All I feel is the curiosity of what to come.

On this island, my heart is overworked with all the mixed emotions that I feel every day. And I hate and love it at the same time. Here, I feel different! Different from my usual repetition and normal life! I want my normal life! I don’t want to be here anymore!

“Trevor! Tell me! Please tell me! Tell me how to get out of here please! Tell me….”

And then I stopped hitting him, because I felt so weak that I don’t think I can continue. I felt like I was drowning, and I was breathless. I feel like I’m going to drown from all the tears coming out my eyes. I feel like my heart is going to burst into pieces and I’m just going to be gone.

I feel helpless. I feel like it’s the end for me. I feel tired.

“Please tell me….”

“I don’t know….” He whispered but I was able to hear it. What did he just say? He doesn’t know.

“How can you not know?! Stop lying already! Just stop because I won’t fall for it anymore! I won’t believe you anymore so stop lying and just tell me! Please Trevor!”

“I don’t know.”

“Stop! Just stop! Please!”

“I don’t know Camille! Believe me because I do wish that I know but I don’t! I just don't like Camille! I don’t know!”

“Liar! You’re a pathetic liar! How can you not know! You’ve been fooling me all this time! For a month Trevor, you’ve fooled me! Isn’t that enough already? Isn’t that enough? So, stop lying! Stop! Just f*****g stop you monster!”

And there. I finally saw a reaction from him.

“What? You’re mad now? Are you mad at me now? Because of what? For calling you a monster?” and then his eyes turned darker. Even darker.

“You don’t get to be mad at me! You have no right! you’re a monster! A monster! You’re a pathetic monster!”

“I don’t know how to get you home Ms. Montellano!”

“Ms. Montellano?” I scoffed. “you’re telling me to believe you and you just f*****g called me Ms. Montellano?” I can’t believe him. I can’t believe I even considered falling in love with him. I must be crazy. No, I really am crazy.

“I never told you about my full name. never Trevor Helios. Same as you never told me yours,” and then I saw a shocked expression on him. and then it disappeared so fast that I thought I was just imagining it. But I did see him. I startled him.

“I never told you that I’m f*****g Camille Louella Herrera Montellano and you have no f*****g business keeping me in this f*****g mansion! You have no business with my life so if you won’t tell me how to f*****g get out of here, then I’ll do it myself!”

I immediately got up even though I could feel that my legs were weak. I left him on the floor dumbfounded as I took my clothes with me. When I remembered something, I went back.

I took the medicine box which he brought inside the room, and he dropped it on the floor. If I’m going to get out of here, I don’t need to f*****g stop at certain points just because I made a mess with my period.

I took a quick bath. Thank God there’s enough water in the bathroom. I wore a tampon and then my jeans and my bralette. I wore my booths and my denim jacket as well.

I’m getting out of here. No matter what happens, I won’t let my life end here. I won’t.

Without looking back, I went to the forest. I don’t see him coming after me and I don’t know how to feel about it. But no! Stop it, Camille Louella! Stop thinking about the man who fooled you! Stop thinking about the times that he took care of you or the times he fed you!

Because all of that! All of those times that you thought he cared for you, might just be a part of the scheme. Might be something that he needs to do in order to make you believe him. Stop thinking about Camille Louella!

I was scolding myself repeatedly. And I almost hit myself when my tears started to stream down my face. How dare I cry? I need to f*****g stop! Ugh stop! I can’t live like this! I can’t be missing him when he might be thinking how to kill me.

I can’t think of him and be emotional while he only thinks of me as no more than his victim. I should be smarter! Much smarter than I think I already am. I need to stop being weak. I need to stop crying and be the Camille Louella who everyone fears. I need to.

I don’t know how long I’ve been walking but I don’t care anymore. I don’t care where I am, and I don’t care if I’m hungry as hell. I don’t even have the sanity to think of a plan. What if the kidnappers are still here?

What if they’re just waiting for me to come out of the mansion and then take me again? I don’t know if I’ve gone crazy already but at this point, I don’t even care anymore. I just wanted to get away as fast as possible.

I need to get away from Trevor before my pathetic heart decides to come back to him and believe his bullshits all over again. I need to get away so badly because I miss him. and I hate to admit it, but I love him.

And I’m scared that that love will be stronger than the fact that he lied to me and the fact that he might be an accomplice. That he must want me to die too. That everything was just a lie and that I’ll be left alone, either dead or too broken to live.

I need to get away. I need to.