The Assassin's Kryptonite

Care

“I can’t.”

I immediately saw the creasing of his forehead when I said that I can’t go back to the mansion yet.

“Why?”

“There are men…. around us.”

“What?” he exclaimed as he scanned the place. I didn’t dare look like what he’s doing as I just continued washing the clothes.

“Have they been here all this time?” I exclaimed remembering how I took a bath in this very place with almost nothing to wear. I mean it’s Trevor and I already feel comfortable around him that I didn’t mind but thinking about how men have been staring at me without me knowing is creepy. And scary.

“What?” Trevor exclaimed with a creased forehead. Why does he look pissed at me every time? I really don’t understand why he’s pissed at me. “Of course not!” he exclaimed.

He was about to stand up and walk away when I stood up. “Where are you going?” I asked worried. Well, I don’t want him to f*****g leave me here! I’d really kick him in the balls if he did.

He just stared at me like I’m some kind of confusing species that he hasn’t encountered yet.

“What?” I asked him again. He just keeps on staring at me and even though I like him looking at me, I still want to hear his answer. “Where are you going?”

“I’ll talk to them, “he answered with his usual emotionless voice. He was about to walk away again when I immediately grabbed his arm.

“Are you kidding me? They have f*****g guns! Have you lost your mind?” I exclaimed, frustrated with his attitude.

His forehead creased again.

“I’m with them, remember?” he exclaimed with acid dripping from his tone. Wow. I almost forgot about that.

I forgot that he’s with them and I forgot that I’m supposed to loathe him. but then again, I forgot a lot of things. I forgot about my life before all these shits happened. I forgot about my parents who were now probably dying of worry because it’s been more than a month since they saw their daughter.

I forgot about how I loved my life. Oh god. I really did forget a lot of things in my life.

And yet….

And yet it feels okay. How the f**k can it be okay Camille Louella Herrera Montellano? How can I say that everything feels okay?  How dare I do that to my life? To my parents? s**t!

Even with all the red flags and with all the danger, I still don’t think that everything is enough for my heart to stop feeling this way towards Trevor.

I’m weak, I know that. And I hated it too. But if I’m weak and Trevor can maybe, just maybe willing to catch me, then it’s okay. It’s fine.

But then will he ever catch me? Will he ever be able to do that? Because from what I’m seeing and from what he’s making me feel, it seems like all is better when I don't have any idea what he does. When I didn’t know about the things, he just told me.

He treats me like a princess before. He gives me everything I want even when sometimes I don’t even ask for it. He treats me like I’m a freaking fragile glass. And then now…. It’s like he doesn’t even see me anymore. It’s like we started from the bottom again. strangers who didn’t care for each other’s well-being.

And is it wrong if I want us to go back from the very beginning? Is it wrong to wish that we go back to the way we used to be? Because that’s just really what I want right now. For Trevor who used to care for me to come back. I don’t care about any other things anymore. I just want him back.

“Okay fine,” I exclaimed as my tears threatened to fall down from my cheeks.

I left him there with the clothes as I walked back towards the mansion. The moment I opened the door to the bedroom my tears started falling. I can’t help but pull my hair because everything is just frustrating!

Everything hurts and everything is confusing! I don’t know how I can continue living like this. I don’t know how long I would last before finally giving up.

I stayed inside the room for I don’t know how long. I just stood up from bed when Trevor opened the bedroom door with food in his hand. He drops them on the table and then turns around immediately like he didn’t even see me staring at him.

“Why don’t you join me like before?” I asked hopefully. I even motioned the food at him just to make a point. Why won’t he eat with me? Am I that hateful that he can’t even find his appetite with my presence?

“I’m not hungry,” he answered and then proceeded on walking out of the door. I remained standing just gawking at his retreating back. Wow, there’s just really no chance in making him notice me huh.

Determined to prove a point and talk to him again, I ate as fast as I could. I’m not very hungry as well since my appetite is highly affected by his obvious distaste on me. When I finished eating the food, I immediately went out of the mansion.

Well, what did I expect right? Of course he lied because I saw him in the shed eating his own share of food.

“So, you’re not hungry, huh?” I exclaimed, raising my brow. I washed my hands while he stopped eating. “Why? Are you done? Don’t stop eating just because I’m here,” I said, putting emphasis on every word. I want him to know that I’m pissed, and I want him to acknowledge my feelings.

He just stared at me back and even when I clearly saw that he’s not yet done, he finished eating and then washed his hands as well.

“Aren’t you going to talk to me?” I exclaimed walking behind him. “Where are you going?” I asked again when he didn’t answer my first question.

He stopped walking and then turned to look at me. “I’m going to find food in the forest. Stay inside,” he expelled a heavy breath.

“Can I go with you instead?” I asked again.

“No,” he answered as he continued walking into the forest. But because there’s no one who is more hard-headed than me, I continued following him. Of course, he noticed that I didn’t heed to his orders.

“Go back Camille,” he exclaimed with an exasperated breath.

“Why? I don’t want to stay in that mansion alone!” I insisted.

“It’s dangerous in the forest.”

“Isn't it more dangerous for me if you leave me in the mansion alone? You saw the men…. I mean your men, right? I’m not comfortable thinking that they might just be around,” I explained.

I know that I said they’re Trevor’s men and if I’m scared of them, I should be scared of Trevor as well. But even with all the feeling he’s making me feel. With his current treatment of me, I still can’t find a reason to be completely afraid of him. maybe because he really takes good care of me and I felt his sincerity. I’m confident that even if I’m the bitchiest b***h in the world, he won’t hurt me. Nit intentionally, I guess.

I heard him sigh deeply and without another word, he started walking again. I happily tail behind him.

“What are you planning to get? Are we going to harvest anything?” I asked him continuously just so we could have a decent conversation but as always, he just ignored me and stayed silent all throughout the walk.

“Did your speaking disorder come back? why aren’t you talking to me?” I tried teasing him, but I just ended up pouting because he still didn’t answer me. Actually, I almost tried everything. Every conversation starter than I could think of, but he wouldn’t just respond!

I was okay with walking. I guess I just treat it as a form of exercise here but when the tall bushes started to itch on my skin, I began feeling uncomfortable…. And itchy! Why did I f**k wear his shirt and boxers anyway? More than half of my legs are freaking exposed to all this… plant!

“Is it still far away?” I asked, unable to mask the annoyance in my voice. And my annoyance doubled when again, he didn’t respond to my question.

We continued walking until finally, Infront of a clear field, we stopped. Oh wow, I didn’t know there’s something like this in the middle of the forest.

I don’t know what variety of tall plants were planted in a perfect line. I was able to count the total and there were three lines.

“What are these?” I asked curiously.

Instead of answering me, he walked to the left and started digging at something. I saw him pull a big knife from the pile of dried leaves just a couple of steps away from me.

He then started digging the plants as I watched him. Well, I don’t have a tool so how can I help him right?

After a few seconds, he pulled the plants and there I saw cassavas!

“Oh wow! That would be a perfect pair for the steak!” I enthusiastically exclaimed while scratching my thighs. Well, it’s itchy!

“What are you doing?” I was so busy with all the scratching that I didn’t even notice that he’s already in front of me and staring.

“Uh… scratching?” I exclaimed and then I was shocked because the part of my skin where I’m scratching is so red already! Oh s**t!

“What happened to you?” he walked towards me as he held my legs. Oh wow…… he still cares huh? I can’t help but smile with the revelation.