Blue Eyes I First Saw

Chapter 30

The reunion went well. Our former clubmates chat about almost everything, reminisce about our past activities and even our embarrassing moments that happen within the circle. Everybody changed not just physically but wholly. 

Everybody grew and grew up. These people I played with before are now close to being adults, all of us are. We all are just in the last year of highschool, a step closer to our dreams and all just make sense.

The former president will fly to Boston for college, his decision suits him well. He fits in anywhere like before but he's more mature and has more conviction than his old self.

The former vice president became a hardworking independent woman. She has a lot of jobs as of the moment and is sustaining herself. I adore people like her. People who work for themselves and stand with their own feet. 

I know another person who's independent. I bit my lower lip to stop myself from smiling. I'm literally turning into a fool.

Going back, the bullies in our club are now taking our lives seriously. The ones who didn't cooperate before are now the ones who have ideas. The shy people are now confident to join the debate the table has— they are battering about the country with the worst and alikes politics.

I wonder if some of us are still in the process of finding themselves like me. 

“Ms. Secretary, you aren't writing everything?” a clubmate joked about our past, where I always list down everything. 

“She's observing, can't you see? Zyosei, I'm prettier now as you can see.”

“You guys grew up well, I'm just feeling proud of what you've become.” I stated a matter of factly.

“Aww! You're still so sweet but I miss your savage side!” 

“My savage side didn't miss you.” I chuckled and everyone said ‘oh’ at that. It's the version of me I haven't seen for a long time.

“Faya didn't come?” I shook my head as my eyes looked at Kaizo.

“What? I didn't do anything.” he stated so cluelessly. 

Everyone teased Kaizo at that. 

“Kanasimi, I saw you yesterday.” I look at our clubmate having his teasing smile and moving brows from up to down. 

Everyone became silent as they looked at us.

“Uh— okay?” I chuckled nervously.

“The University of Tokyo is huge.” he said that just made me smile and drink my cider.

“Tokyo University? Some of their scholars are so handsome!” I nearly choke at that. Holy sheep.

The clubmate who teased me laughs by himself. What the hell. 

As the clock says it's past six, I bid my goodbye to them and to Kaizo, saying I'll go to Tokyo University for my parents. The one who teased me grins knowing that I'm lying.

“Take care, Sei!” 

“Bye! Thank you!” then I exited the restaurant and walked straight to Seikatu's university. 

I wonder if he's still there? We really have to talk.

I arrived at the campus’ main gate feeling refreshed. It's a very good day.

My feet walked on the guard quarters beside the gate. Should I ask? I sighed.

“Yes, ma'am?” the man in his guard uniform asked as he saw me.

“I— uhm . . .is there still a college student inside?” Okay, that's a nonsense question. Of course, there is! 

The man chuckled. “Yes, ma'am. Are you looking for someone?” I nodded. “From which college department?”

“Uhm . . .” what's his course? Did Souru tell me that part of his brother or my mind forgets that detail? “Bachelor Science of . . .” trailing it off feels forever. I don't know what to say!

“Of?” the guard prompted.

Sighing and giving up. “I'm sorry, sir— I forgot. I'm sorry.”

“It's okay, ma'am.” he said, understanding the situation.

“Bachelor Science of Bioengineering.” a familiar voice said behind me. 

The guard looked at me and to the person behind me with curiosity. “Is it, ma'am?”

“I don't know—”

“Zyosei.” It's Seikatu. 

The guard grinned at us. “Your girlfriend, Katu?—”

“No way!” I protested immediately.

“No.” Seikatu said more casual. “We'll go now, thank you.” Then he made me walk by pushing the small of my back so carefully that it made my skin tingles. 

Seikatu removed his hand on my back when I followed his pace, I don't mind if he didn't though— No, I will mind. 

In silence, we walk on the sidewalk. It's awkward for me but Seikatu didn't mind at all. He's just there with me walking. He didn't strike up a conversation and I don't know what to say either.

I cleared my throat. “Uh—”

“You should just go home.” he cut me off in a low soft voice that made my heart melt a little. 

“I was just nearby so I went here to . . .uh— talk to you.” the three last words became a whisper.

“We're talking.” right, I bit my lower lip at that.

Why does he have to say that? I'm struggling to form a simple sentence yet—

“Just go home and stop tiring yourself of going here.” 

“But, Seikatu. It's about what happened—”

“Say that again.” he cut me off.

“Say what?” say anything about Souru? Say that his brother is dead? “Uh?”

“Repeat your statement.” 

“The one you cutted?” he's weird. He cut me off for me to repeat it. 

“Seikatu—” I stopped as I saw him clear his throat. Looking up to him, he's pushing his tongue inside his cheek again. It's a bit dark but is he stopping himself from smiling? “What's funny?” Then he clears his throat again and goes back to his stoic expression.

This man is something. “You and your brother are so different from each other.” that slipped on my mouth but I got no reaction so I continued. “Souru is so expressive while you're the opposite.”

“Even siblings have differences.” he said simply and made me ride a train by pushing a small part of my back. 

I settled on the nearest seat and he sat beside me. So, pushing me is his gesture now?

“I hope I have a sibling too. Things might have changed—” okay, I'm opening up. That's enough. I cleared my throat and bit my lower lip to stop from talking. 

“You torture your lips too much.” he commented out of nowhere.

I stopped from biting my lip. “It's a mannerism, I guess.”

“It's not healthy.” he said nonchalantly, I shrugged. I can't help it.

The train accelerated and my eyes roamed around to divert my attention. My system is in chaos next to Seikatu and I gulped upon seeing our reflection on the window pane. 

Seikatu is beside me and he's looking at the window pane too, meeting my eyes. I don't know if he's staring that long but I'm not feeling uncomfortable because of it. 

It feels so normal. Normal even though I'm feeling nervous. It's his eyes fault. 

The train stopped and I was the one who broke the indirect eye contact by standing up and leaving the train in a rush. I can feel Seikatu behind me but I just kept on walking. We're at the Shibuya Station and I'm biting my lip again.

“Uh— I'm fine here . . .you can go now.” My voice is so small. 

“I'm going to the train bound for Minato. ‘You’ can go now.” Holy sheep! I thought he'll walk me to my house.

“Uhh— yeah. Thank you.” Then I ran towards the exit of Shibuya Station. That's embarrassing.

The bell rang and my classmates cheered upon hearing it. It's dismissal and I'm nervous to go to Tokyo University. 

“Sei, how was the reunion yesterday?” Faya asked while sorting her things. 

“It went well. Just like before, it's fine.” I simply said.

I'm feeling nervous. Last night, I dreamed of Souru in the forest crying. It's like he's saying goodbye and I should tell his brother in no time. I dreamed of Seikatu too. We stared at each other through the window pane of the train. The two Ikemen are making me nervous.

“Sei, can I go first? My aunt is waiting for me, I can't join you today.” Faya said that I don't pay attention. I just nodded. “Bye, Sei! Take care!” Then she left.

I sighed. I wonder how Souru is in the forest. It's been days since I visited him and he might be lonely.

Fully decided, instead of going to Seikatu's university, I went to Narusawa to visit Souru. 

“Souru?” the surroundings became dark as I enter the suicide forest. The wind became naturally cold and I could hear the bones dangling.

“Souru? It's Zyosei.” no response. I bit my lower lip. He might be on the tree just like before.

Taking a step, Souru appeared making me shriek and sat on the ground. “What the hell, Souru?!” I said, clutching my chest. “That nearly gave me a heart attack.”

Souru chuckled at me. “Souru, it's to avoid you from thinking negatively.” 

I stood up and wiped my now dirty skirt and jacket. “But it made my clothes look negative.” I commented and we both chuckled.

“How are you, sister? I guess you got busy.” he started to walk towards the near entrance where we always bond and I follow.

“Yeah. Got busy with your brother.” I said nonchalantly and Souru looked at me in shock.

“You still talked to him after last Saturday?” 

“Yeah. I tried talking to him from then up to yesterday.” I sighed. “Your brother always caught my words. He's so intimidating.” 

Souru chuckled at me. “That's not what I saw on you two last Saturday on the tree.” I stopped and my face burned. 

He can still remember that? “It's— uhh . . .nothing.” He chuckled again. “You're diverting my attention!”

“I'm not but you're stuttering.” he teased. 

I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, I haven't talked to him for a while. He's so weird and he keeps on making me go home everytime we're together.”

“Maybe because it's already dark and late?” 

Right. He knows his brother too well. “Yeah?”

“He doesn't like when I'm staying outside the night before so maybe he's like that to you too.” What's with the night? “I understand him though. It must be hard for him. Our mother died at night outside, maybe that's why.”

“Oh.” is all I can say. Should I talk to him earlier? 

“Sei, if it's giving you a hard time, you can drop it anytime. Making my brother believed about me isn't your responsibility—”

“There you go again, brother dear. It's not, besides Seikatu might be hard to deal with but I'm more comfortable to be with him than to be at my parent's house all afternoon.” I said so truthfully.

“Do your parents still give you a hard time?” 

I shook my head. “They're not. They even bought me books of my favorite subjects and complimented me in some ways.”

“That's good to hear but isn't it good for you too?”

Sighing and settling myself on a log, I looked at him. “It triggers the pressure in me. You know those books and compliments, I must return it by presenting excellence.”

“Come to think of it. Aren't you the only one who thinks like that?” That question made me think.

Isn't it? I haven't heard them talk pressured me and yeah? Maybe that's my initial reaction since I'm used to having pressure on me?

I sighed again. “Maybe you're right. Haven't thought about it for a while though. I'm always distracted these days. It made me not think of it.”

Souru chuckled at me. “My brother is the one who makes you distracted?” he teased.

“Of course not! He's— well a bit but not totally. It's how I'll tell him about you that made me not think of my parents.” I defended myself.

“It's still him.” he stated and I gave up. “I don't mind being your brother in law—”

“Hey! I don't even like your brother!” I said in an impulse and Souru laughed at me.

“I didn't say you like him but you said it and you're blushing.” Holy sheep!

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