Chapter 9
1048 Words
Feeling a stare, my eyes flicked wide open when she realized where she was. She's lying on the ground under the moon and the twinkling stars in the middle of the night— or dawn?
Slowly, she sat up and roamed her eyes in front. The darkness is illuminated by the street lights from afar. Feeling weak with her aching whole being, she stood up and got stiffen when she saw someone on the forest's arc.
Sinking on her thoughts, the sad blue eyes bore into hers making her tremble in fear again. The kid is there, standing calmly on the forest's entrance, looking at me as if he's guarding me from anyone. He is there from afar— on the entrance of the forest, alone and sad.
Holy crap!
A profanity can't escape from my lips as my mind clouded with fear and went blank.
He's kind, right? He won't follow nor harm me, right?
Slowly and mindlessly, my feet started to step backwards away from the entrance of the forest. Turning my back on the ghost, I ran as long as I could until I reached the bus stop.
I hurriedly opened the gate of my patrimonial house, without glancing back. It's already dawn and my parents are surely in their slumber. The combination of hard wood and metal gate made a creak sound as I opened and closed it.
Climbing up the stairs, my mind is clouded with terrifying thoughts about ghosts. My eyes are continuously roaming around as I make it to the house's porch.
Does that kid crawl like Sadako? Are ghosts really able to enter a screen?
Is he going to follow me to death? Or perhaps he's waiting for me behind this door?
Can my parents see ghosts too? Can they talk to ghosts too?
The darkness of the dawn is not helping me, it made the ambiance more terrifying and in horror like the dark Halloween movies playing on Netflix. The sun is rising from afar, it's brightness is slightly peaking yet the darkness is way more larger than the sun's brightness.
From the porch where I'm standing, in front of my house's large front modern door— deciding whether to enter or to leave, the bushes below look like something is hiding behind, or more like the bushes has it's life and has eyes that's staring at me.
The leaves of the large tree in our front yard swayed by the cold spring dawn wind coming my way. It made me shiver and think that the tree has someone behind or on its branch.
Deciding to enter the house, I slowly moved the cold knob downwards— it didn't open. The door is locked!
Pacing back and forth, I can't think of any ways to go straight to my room.
The door is locked. I can't knock, my parents might wake up and see and scold me. I can't wake them up. Hell! What should I do? I can't stay here on the porch until the sun rises fully!
My tears started to flow down my cheeks, if things just didn't go this way I'm no longer on this world. If things just go right as I planned, I'm not here on our porch anxious and full of fears.
The gate creaked that made me sit on the corner and hold my sobs. Is he here?
Silence filled the surroundings and slowly I peered at it and found nothing.
Zyosei, think!
Blinking and clasping the skirt of my ruined and dirty dress, I braced myself to possibilities and made my way to the back yard.
The back door might be unlocked, I just hope my parents forgot about locking it.
As I reached the side yard, I looked up at the windows and found it locked and dark. My parents might still be in their peaceful slumber while I'm here outside trembling and fighting my anxiousness.
I can't blame my parents, they're tired and perhaps thought that I'm staying outside to study ‘til morning, to burn my brows for knowledge. Why am I here, right now, is my fault. If I just hanged myself hours ago, I'm not here hoping to enter the cage I'm living in.
The back yard is unnervingly peaceful. The towering trees are swaying its branches, making some of its leaves fall on the grass carpeted ground. The small porch is untouched and has leaves.
Inhaling a breath of cold air, I move the door knob down and exhale when it's thankfully unlocked. With a rush, I entered the door and locked it before silently running onto the stairs going to my room.
As soon as I closed my room's door behind me, I let myself slumped on the tiled floor and cry with loud sobs, as if I just got awake from a nightmare and realizing the whole decision I made.
Leaving this cage just made me violated by the bystander on Narusawa. If I just stayed here and continued living my awful life, I would still be here anxious but physically at peace.
Leaving this house just made me realize that I'm weak and I can't fight for my life to be happy. I'm a weakling.
“I— I'm sorry . . .” apologizing to myself is way harder than I thought.
As I let myself calm down, I made my way onto the shower and strip to let the hot water cascade down my fragile, yet full of bruises and dirt body. I let my tears fly with the water on my cheeks.
A hot shower always calms me down aside from the rain. It makes my thoughts at ease for a while before going back to wild and suicidal thinking. The natural and artificial rain is my kind of relaxation and escape. Some find the rain gloomy but I find it a wheather of hope and relaxation.
After wrapping a towel on my body, I stared at myself on the huge whole body mirror attached to my room's wall.
The saddest smile crept on my lips as my tears began to cascade on both of my cheeks. “I'm sorry for trying to kill you.” I said to my reflection in the mirror.
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Day Biasca
- Writer
