Chapter 1
1081 Words
I nervously held my breath as my teacher stepped in front of my desk.
“Ms. Kanasimi. You did good.” Ms. Yamachi— my teacher, said as she placed my assessment paper on the desk and continued walking past me.
Fifty-two over sixty, that's what is written on the paper. I sighed and took a glance at my classmates. Some of them are happy, I'm sure they were satisfied with the score they've got, while the majority just sighed as they folded their assessment paper.
The passing score is fifty. I passed, yet my subconscious says no. I never passed my parents expectations. Never.
I sighed at the thought. Having intelligent parents is something that makes someone like me suffer mentally and emotionally, even my physical health is being affected by it. They think high of me as if I am smart like them.
I know I'm not the only one. There are plenty of us thinking why our parents give us too much educational pressure.
I sighed and decided to fold the paper, then slip it onto my satchel's pocket. Glancing up at my classmates gives me more to think. How come we are all still here? For dreams? I can't even think of tomorrow's breakfast discussion; how can I think about my future career?
Knowing college is near, my pressured self-got more pressure. Being a grade twelve student or should I say, in my entire upper secondary school years, everything about education is— frustrating.
The Tokyo Metropolitan Kokusai High School or also referred to as Kokusai Koko is great. The environment is relaxing and friendly. Given that my school is an International school, obviously there are a lot of international students too. American, Asians, Africans, Europeans, name it and they are just in some corner of the campus.
Having a great campus made me equally anxious and happy at the same time. Seeing a lot of students around me made me feel that I am not alone. That I am not the only one who has too much pressure on my plate. That also made me think that of all the students here at Kokusai Koko, how many will be successful? Am I one of them?
I haven't actually thought of any profession I wanted. Anything that has biology or chemistry is fine with me— I'm still not sure.
My parents knew what they wanted when they were my age or even younger. They both knew that teaching is for them, while I just want to live like them but with lesser things and achievements to think about.
Achievements! What if I am as smart as them? Or even better like Sir Michiu Kaku, or Sir Einstein, or Sir Tesla? Would my parents be proud of me, or reach what they had reached, perhaps?
I can imagine myself entering one of the rooms of Harvard University in the United States of America. Studying hard and hearing praises from my parents. Receiving countless job offers in my mail like my father. Oh! That would be so much more than nice! But of course it's way too far for me. I haven't even completed my assessment. How will I pass the examination for that prestigious university?
Or maybe I could just simply go to The University of Tokyo to study, but a scholar taking some biology or chemistry course. Those ten chosen scholar students must be very smart. I know the University of Tokyo scholarship only gets ten of its students who have the highest academic rating. Well, that's more realistic, yet so far from who I am.
I shook my head as I popped my own little bubble. Some of my schoolmates are happily walking outside. Perhaps, they are talking about their plans after graduation, or thinking about the present they will receive, or choosing among the university inside or outside Tokyo, which can be also outside Japan. How I wish I am as carefree like some of them.
Should I start planning too? No, my parents won't let me, we're living on the same roof and that's why I have to endure their dialogues, treatment, and decisions. For once I want to decide for myself, can I do that?
“Sei, aren't you going home?” roaming my eyes around, my classmates vanished except for Faya. Did the bell ring already?
I looked at Faya from where I am, she's two tables away while I'm beside the room window. She's fixing her things very slowly like a snail. What's taking her long? She's always the first to leave the room, maybe today is different.
“Faya.” I called. I know something is bothering her— well, all people have a thing to bother. Her shoulders are slouched, face is stoic, while her eyes are dull and unliving. The only color on her is her uniform. This is not the Faya I know.
She was my friend back in junior high school. She was beautiful, loud and cheerful before. Always vocal even in our chemistry club, then we reached our upper secondary school. Senior high school changed her a lot. Faya distanced herself from me, which is painful. No reasons at all, but respecting her decision is my only choice.
“We can leave—uh . . . The room together.” my tone was hesitant yet it made her brows furrowed.
She hurriedly put her things back on her satchel and carried it. “Ms. Yamachi is waiting for me.” Faya said while turning her back on me to leave the room.
I sighed. Ms. Yamachi is her aunt and only guardian. She's nice to me but too strict and manipulative to Faya. Maybe Faya and I are in the same phase of academic pressure.
“Miss, aren't you leaving the room yet?” a manly voice asked.
I hurriedly put on my satchel. “I am!” I shouted to the man who had a mop on his hand outside peeking at the room. I don't want to stay in that room alone. I knew how many students have vanished after failing their exams.
The spring breeze touched my face as I walked outside the building. Students are walking and enjoying the third month of the year. Graduation is near. My high school life will soon end, so is my suffering.
“Sei!” Kaizo— an acquaintance from the junior high school biology club shouted my name.
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Day Biasca
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