Reclaiming Her Heart

Chapter 4 - Awake

Jadea

My eyes burst open, heart racing out of my chest. Chills running down my skin, a fever flaring like molten iron through my veins. My whole body ached. My head felt like it was splitting in two. My jaw was wired shut, my tongue feeling the edges of a jagged hole healing in the back of my mouth.

I tried lifting my hands, but they were bound tightly to the arms of an operation chair. A blinding light hung overhead. I hated being restrained. The panic started taking hold as I thrashed around.

"She's awake!" someone frantically shouted.

"Where's the demon's blood?" another yelled as everyone in the room scattered.

"We have to get her back under control!"

Where was I? I wanted to scream at them. Where was my pack? Garret? Blade? Anyone? I searched the room for one familiar face and found none.

What the hell happened!?

"Jadea! You will stop!" A strong, alpha's voice commanded. The order made everyone in the room stop what they were doing. Pausing, my focus shifted to the owner of that voice. I couldn't see him well through the blinding light above me. "Move," he commanded impassively to those who stood between him and I. A smartly dressed immortal drew closer. The instant his face came into view, my heart constricted.

"Uncle Silas?" I asked incredulously.

"Hello Jadea," his voice gentled. He reached a hand out, tracing my cheek with gentle fingers before trailing down my shoulder in a comforting caress.

He was my mother's brother. He sported white-blond hair and the same sage green eyes I had. The same ones that were from my Pappy Elam.

The fringes of my mind rebelled at Pappy Elam's name, the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.

"Why am I here? What happened?" I demanded.

"What is the last thing you remember?"

The last thing I remembered...? I had to concentrate hard. "I remember hunting Valdis. He just killed the Walkers," I said. But that seemed so long ago. Not to mention, how would he know my past? I hadn't seen him since I was a pup, when I was still residing with my vicious father, Hans.

Silas nodded. "You were mortally wounded, my dear," he stated, a sadness and compassion in his tone. It wasn't something I was used to hearing with any decedent of Elam's. I couldn't say why it made me wary. "Your mate challenged and forcibly took your pack from you before rejecting you," he explained softly, as if telling a beloved child a family pet died. "He shot you in the head with a laced bullet, intending to kill you. It was by the grace of God I found and saved you."

Wait... What? There was so much stated in those few short sentences.

The thing my mind focused on most was the fact I had a mate.

That didn't make any sense.

I had sworn off that kind of love at a young age. I'd made a promise to myself I would never be put into that kind of situation. I didn't believe in the everlasting type of love between two souls. I knew how fragile it could be. How it could be used as a weapon.

Not only that, I knew my pack. I knew they could never turn on me. We were family. A tight-knit group. There was no way they would allow this to happen. They would have beaten themselves to death to protect me, even if this Adam had forcibly taken my pack. Which then left me worrying about their own safety. What happened to them after Adam won the fight? Was he torturing them? My beloved pack mates. Tears threatened to fall, but I blinked them back, turning my hard gaze to Silas.

"I don't believe you," I growled.

"I figured as much." He mused, reaching into his jacket pocket to pull out some photos. They were all in black and white and looked as if they were taken from a distance. As if someone had been spying on me.

Silas moved through the pictures quickly, trying not to give me enough time to study them too closely. Regardless, in those pictures I glimpsed the truth behind his words.

There was Adam and I. We appeared to be besotted. The adoring look in his gaze bellying Silas's words. What shocked me most, though, was the way I looked back at him. As if the sun rose and set with him. I was happy. And so in love. In the following pictures, I saw two children in the mix. We all looked like we were living our best lives.

I couldn't deny the purity of those emotions. Of the love I saw in every one of those black and white pictures. It was something I thought I would never have.

My mind fought, my wolf rioting in my chest at the thought such a pure love like that could be corrupted. It was the same kind of love I'd seen between Lucien and his mate.

Something wasn't adding up.

What transpired between Adam and I to make me look like that? How had he gained such trust?

Even my pack all adored him and the children. They had to be his children. Tears fell then, because that was all I ever wanted. Children. A family to call my own.

"I'm sorry, Jadea," Silas said again. "I know it's hard, and I know it's going to take some time to come to grips with this revelation."

"I want to reach out to my pack." I had to make sure they were okay. That this was their decision to stay with Adam. I didn't want him to force their compliance, especially if he was as despicable a being as Silas painted. If he was, I needed to challenge him and win them back. To spare them that pain.

"There is nothing you can do in the condition you are in. You need to rest and recover," he stated with finality before turning his back on me. Before I could argue, someone jabbed a needle in my arm and all went black.

***

When I came to once again, I was no longer in the operation room or tied down to a chair. I was in a small room, laid out on a firm twin bed. I still felt a bit feverish, probably from the toxin they used on me. The effects of the toxin still clouded my mind. Another day or two and the effects should wear off completely. There was still pain in my head, from the bullet wound I supposed, but the hole in my mouth was healed. Which meant I was on the mend. However, my memories hadn't returned.

Sitting up gingerly, I looked around the room. There was a small dresser with a vanity. A wooden chair set in a corner next to a small window. A floral curtain kept out some of the light.

A hiss of pain escaped my lips when I forced myself to stand and walk over to the window. Pushing the curtain aside, I gazed outside. It appeared to be just after noon by the position of the sun. Nothing here was familiar. I could only presume I was at Uncle Silas's house. A small garden was visible and beyond the garden a wall of trees. All was quiet. It felt serene.

Walking over to the door, I pressed my ear against the wood, listening. It was quiet inside the house. Cracking the door open, I peeked outside and found it empty. Making a decision, I decided to go searching for Silas instead of waiting for him to come to me.

I hated waiting.

Walking down the long hallway, I took in the layout of the very spacious, single-story house. I passed several bedrooms, baths, a large dining room and great room. Through the last two, I caught glimpses of the kitchen and other areas. It was furnished decadently and regally. Just like Silas. The spaces were clean. The floors a gorgeous mahogany wood.

While I was standing between the hallway and the dining room, a maid came bustling in and started when she saw me.

"Hi, I'm sorry I--"

"Oh, don't worry ma'am." She bobbed her head, hands pressed into her skirt.

"I'm Jadea," I introduced. Pausing. A shy smile was all I got in response. "I was wondering if you could point me in the direction of Silas."

The maid bobbed her head. She was a bit shorter than I was, had mousy brown hair and brown eyes. She was pretty and looked to be a few years younger. "He's in his study," she replied softly, her gaze never meeting mine.

I knew it was a customary thing, to show respect in such a manner, but I didn't like it.

"The study is the last door down the hallway," she supplied, nodding in the direction.

"Thank you...?"

"Mary," she quickly replied. "Good day miss." She bustled away quickly, disappearing into a different hallway.

The study's door was ajar. Hesitating only a heartbeat, I knocked. Silas answered immediately. "Come in. Ah, Jadea," he greeted, those light green eyes studying me from his seat behind a large desk. "I am surprised to see you up and about. We expected you would sleep for at least another day, if not two, based on your injuries."

I wasn't sure how to respond to this. So, I took a seat across from him and dove right in. "Uncle Silas, I want to reach out to my pack." It was important to me to know they were okay. That they weren't being abused or hurt.

"I took liberties and reached out to them already. To Garret, specifically," he stated pointedly, knowing I wouldn't have accepted news from any others in my pack. "He said they are doing well. That, whatever happened, was because of you. You broke their trust." He paused, allowing his words to sink in before continuing. "He mentioned they were better off without you."

At this, I felt a gaping hole in my chest rip open and swallow me whole.

What had I done? Was that the reason Adam turned on me? Why he rejected me?

I reached into the void of my mind, begging for some clarity. For the memories to come back, so I could understand what I had done wrong. I was met with a yawning darkness and mounds of confusion.

Nothing was making sense.

"You aren't alone, Jadea," Silas stated gently, those hardened eyes softening. "You have family here. A pack you could grow to love and lead."

You have family here.

But they were virtual strangers. The only one I knew was Silas. And I didn't even know him that well. I only met him once or twice when I was but a pup.

Though, he was the only family I had left.

And he didn't seem that malicious. I didn't feel the evil dripping off of him like I did when confronted with the real monsters I hunted.

"I know it is hard right now. It will get easier with the passage of time," he consoled. "Go. Go back to your room," he commanded softly. "Rest. When you wake up tomorrow, it won't seem so heavy."

I wished that were true. I knew differently.

I messed up. Gravely. And it was eating me up inside because there was nothing I could do to remedy it, especially since I didn't even know what I had done.

All of this was my fault.

The pack I built, the pack I poured every ounce of myself into, the pack I loved and adored hated me. They couldn't forgive me.

I stood up, forcing the tears to stay at bay until I was safely in my room. Curling up in the middle of the bed, I cried until I fell into a deep sleep.