Written by the Moon

34~ DON'T GIVE IN

Agaran akong kumawala sa kan’yang mapang-angkin na yakap sa akin. I was about to scream all the air out of my lungs out until I saw I am fortunately fully clothed. Napatingin ako sa aking kabuuan. Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako. Umalis ako sa kama na hinigaan namin ni Forest.

Napahawak ako sa aking ulo nang biglang nahilo ako. My head is not throbbing but my head felt light. I tried to regain my consciousness as I started to lose it. Mabuti na lang na nandito si Forest. Inalalayan ako nito at pinaupo sa kama. I closed my eyes tightly when saw his naked body again.

“P-put your clothes o-on,” my voice couldn’t even go louder.

There was a moment of silence so I thought that he already put on his clothes. Nang ramdam ko na na nawawala na ang pagkahilo ko, I found the gut to open my eyes. As soon as I opened my eyes, I shut it again. Damn! He’s just in front of me.

Napapikit ako kaagad at sinapak siya. Hindi ko man lang naramdaman na nanatili pala siya sa king harapan. It must be because I am weak as of now.

“Hush. I’m chanting a spell.”

My eyes are still closed. Kahit na ang demonyo kong isip na nagbubulong sa akin na dumilat, matinding pagpipigil ang ginawa ko. At talagang dito pa naisipan ng demonyo na tuksohin ako. My pursed lips remained as it is. Wala na nga akong lakas, nasa harap ko pa si Forest. At wala pa talagang itong saplot.

Ganda ng buhay. Kung kailan ko pinalangin sa Diyosa ng Buwan na ilayo ako kay Forest, nagyari pato. I still closed my eyes even when he finished with his spell. I feel more well right now that he finished the spell.

“Open your eyes now.”

Hindi parin ako naniwala. He must be joking, right?

“May saplot kana?”

“Yeah,”

I was still hesitating to open my eyes but I just gave him my trust. I opened my eyes and sighed after seeing him fully clothed. Nang kumalma na sana ako, naalala ko naman ang ginawa niya. Why did he even think of taking of his clothes? Is he really that smitten on me? Akala ko ba magmove-on na siya?

I gave him my furrowed brows yet angry eyes. Naintindihin naman niya nga ibig sabihin nito. He sighed as he sat on the bed. Tumayo naman ako kaagad. Aalma n asana siya ngunit binigyan ko na siya ng nagbabala na titig.

“Nanginginig ka kahit tulog. Even hugging you with my clothes on doesn’t take away your trembles. I had to take my clothes off. I’m sorry if what I did offended you but it was the only way I know,”

My brows raised. Ah, talaga?

Napatawa ako ng mapakla.

“Really? You can give me the moon and stars and chant some spells on me but you can’t make me stop from trembling with a single spell?”

His eyes widened a fraction. Hindi ko inasahan ang reaksyon niya. It seems like he didn’t even realize that he can cast a spell to make me warmer. I had a hit of realization na baka nga hindi niya iyon napagtanto kagabi but taking off his clothes was his solution last night?

“I didn’t remember. I’m sorry,”

Lumiit ang mata kong tinanaw siya. At talagang hindi niya alam.

“Sabihin mo, ginusto mo ‘yon!”

“Yes,” nabigla ako sa diretso niyang sagot.

“The heck!?”

I looked at him. Handa ko na siyang sapakin. He immediately responded. He raised both of his arms in defense.

“What I meant is ginusto ko dahil umayos naman ang pakiramdam mo,”

I just can’t believe his reasons. Nakatingin lang ako sa kan’ya at mahihimigan ko sa kan’yang mukha ang pasensya at pag-alala. I licked my lips and looked away. Ngayon ko lang napansin ang aking paligid. Nasa isang silid kami. Malaki ang kuwarto. It’s even bigger than my room.

Even from the bed itself, mas malaki pa. The wall is concrete but looks like wood. The room’s colors range from brown to cream. In front of the king-sized bed, there’s a couch. A fifty-six-inch TV on a wall. Three more doors in the room. I bet one of them is the exit of the room, the other is the bathroom and the one left would be a closet.

Minimalistic ang silid. Wala gaanong kaartehan. At ang bango. My eyes widened in realization. Napatingin ako kay Forest na mukhang kanina pa nakatitig sa akin. I pointed out to the room.

“Don’t tell me I’m in your house,”

Realizations hit me with all the possible scandals. He has a mate! And he has a woman in his room! what would society think of him now?

He nodded.

“Yes.”

My jaw dropped.

“Y-your family—”

He cut me off.

“Don’t worry. Your scent is masked. I’m the only one who can smell you.” He tried hiding his smirk by turning around but I already saw it even before he turned around. He took a glass of water from the bedside table. After he turned to me, his lips were already in a thin line.

He doesn’t even know how to hide his feelings. I shook my head and he saw it. His brows rose as he saw my reaction. Now he’s on a tight smile.

“You don’t like the water?”

Now, he’s more concerned about the water.

“You’re not good with hiding your smirk.”

Realization dawned on him. Now, he can’t hide his boyish smirk.

“I’m sorry with that, madame.”

I rolled my eyes at him.

“You’re pretty good with witchcraft yet you lose skills in hiding your feelings.”

My eyes followed the direction of his tongue licking his lips. I looked away immediately after.

“You’re someone I can’t resist.”

Lumingon ako sa kan’ya. Pinakinggan ko ang aking puso. Lumakas ang t***k nito na baka marinig pa ni Forest. It fastened more. Napagtanto ko na meron parin pala siyang naramdaman. I took a deep breath that he noticed.

Tumayo ako at umiwas sa kan’ya. I went to the window close to his bed. I opened the curtains of it and saw the sunrise. I closed my eyes immediately when the sun’s rays hit my eyes. Agad ko namang sinarado ang kurtina. It’s early in the morning.

“Akala ko ba magmo-move-on kana?” tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.

Tumango ito at nanatili ang titig sa akin. Sa akin lamang. I never knew someone would look at me like this.  So different but in a good way for me.

“It takes time, Nav.”

I pouted. He’s taking his time. and once the time comes that he finally removes his feelings for me, I must accept everything.

“I hope you get there.”

Saying that was a hard pill to swallow. He nodded slowly as his eyes are on me. Like there’s some glue that it can’t take away Forest’s eyes from me. Gusto ko ‘to. Gusto ko na nasa akin lamang ang kan’yang titig. Kaso, ano naman ang magagawa ko? Pwede ko ba siyang piliin? Hindi. Pwede ba niya akong piliin? Hindi rin.

Nakakatawa lang na dalawang tao na nagkagusto sa isat-isa ngunit bawal naman. Nandito na nga hindi pa pwede. Actually, I can reach him now. I can claim him.

But my touch will burn him. His touch will burn me. We will end up killed. Dead. Lifeless. So, what’s the use?

I chuckled without humor. He saw my laugh.

“It’s nothing,” inunahan ko na siya.

I shook my head as I started stretching. Wala na akong plano pa na tumagal dito. Ang kailangan kong gawin ngayon ay umalis na. Kailangan ko nang umuwi at baka hinanap na ako ni Tiana. Sa ganitong oras pa naman ako dinadalaw no’n. I sighed.

“I need to back to the mansion,” in my stern and cold voice.

Labag man sa aking loob, kailangan ko nang umalis. Masarap man sa pakiramdam na konti lang ay maabot ko na siya at mahawaka, kailangan ko paring umalis at dumistansya. This is a sin, again. I closed my eyes realizing that I sinned again.

“You should get breakfast first,” he suggested.

Umiling ako.

“Hindi na. Baka magtaka pa sila.”

“I insist, Nav.”

Napatingin ako sa kan’ya. Nasa mata nito ang desperasyon na makasama ako. I don’t know if it reflected mine, too. Kahit ako, gusting gusto ko siyang makasama. Pero mali kase. Hindi pwede. If only I can change our destiny, I will.

Kung pagbigyan ko kaya ang aking sarili? Just this once. Ngayon lang at sa sunod na mga araw, wala na. I sighed. Napagtanto kong hindi talaga, eh. Bawal talaga. I will only harm him.

“No.”

He nodded slowly. Sa hilaw niyang ngiti, mukhang inasahan na niya ang aking response. He led me to a secret passage in their mansion. I followed him, looking at his broad back. I admired him more. Napapikit ako sa naiisip. I can’t like this much. I just can’t.

It took us fifteen minutes to finally see the light from outside. Hindi ko alam kung gaano kalaki ang mansion nila na natagalan pa talaga kami. Pagkalabas ko, nakita ko kaagad ang kan’yang sasakyan. It looks like were in an underground parking lot. May parking lot pa talaga ang kanilang bahay. Impressive.

Without a word, he opened the car door for me. Pumasok na ako habang umikot pa siya para pumasok. I sat comfortably that I didn’t realize that I forgot the seatbelt. I sighed as he put the seatbelt on me. Umiwas na rin ang mukha ko. Baka magkahalikan pa kami.

His car just smells like him. I can’t help but get so comfortable and sleepy. Damn it. This is my second time in his car and I think I will never complain. I can’t believe myself.

The drive back to the mansion just took us a couple of minutes. I don’t know if it’s because I felt comfortable in his car that the drive back home is so fast or the route to get there is just near. I sighed as his car stopped.

Napatingin tuloy ako sa matipuno niyang kamay na nakahawak sa manibela. I pusred my lips and nodded at him. Umiwas agad ako ng tingin. Aambang lalabas na sana siya sa sasakyan nang pinigilan ko siya.

“I think Tiana wouldn’t like it if she saw us together early in the morning.”

I smiled as a farewell. He nodded courtly. As I got out of the car, I already miss him. I’m gonna miss him. So, so much.

To be continued…