Written by the Moon

28~ POINTLESS LOVE

I slept for about five hours. I even skipped lunch and I’m not complaining. With my sleepy head, I am saved from Forest. By the time I woke up, they were already preparing for dinner. And boy, I was glad seeing no one in the mansion. After seeing my text conversation with Forest, I felt like hiding myself forever.

I couldn’t even believe that I replied to him and worse, he never replied back. He has seen me. until now, I still haven’t received a reply. He was the one who initiated the conversation so why do I get seen? I massaged my head as walk to the kitchen.

My head just hurts but it doesn’t compare to the pain I felt the first time I got drunk. Maybe because I was just tipsy this time. I drank three glasses of water and on my third glass, I almost coughed everything out of my mouth when I saw Forest approaching near. He saw my reaction which he rushed to me.

Damn it!

I coughed a small amount of the water out. And if the water was already out of my mouth, I still continued to cough. I didn’t even realize that Forest is too close to me. The moment I recovered, I stepped away from him. Eventually, he noticed it and uncomfortably fixed his composure.

“Are you alright?” he is even hesitant to ask me that question.

Did I think they already left? Did he stay? Or I just couldn’t see them earlier? I was gonna celebrate if they were already gone. Why do they have to stay here longer? I mean, the celebration is just gonna last till lunch. I didn’t even ask for a celebration. Obviously, I don’t have a birthday.

“You’re seriously asking me that?”

He sighed. It’s bothering that his eyes never left mine.

“Do I bother you?”

I was taken aback by his question. Even myself, it’s hard to think if he really bothers me. Does he? My gaze met his. He looked serious yet hesitant in this current situation we have. I don’t know if I reflect the same expression with him. I cut our eye contact just to make myself calm.

“Yes, you do,” I said in a matter of fact.

He nodded as he looked like he expected my answer. He licked his lips as he sat on the high chair of the kitchen. And damn, he looked comfortable sitting there while me, I probably looked like I want to fly to another world. Still, I make my expression intact.

“What do you want me to do?”

I blinked. I never expected him to say that. I thought he’ll just calmly avoid me. I can’t believe he ahs the audacity to ask me that! I narrowed my eyes at him. He casually put his elbow on the kitchen counter and looked at me with so much intensity.

“Where are the others?” I just avoided the topic.

He shifted on his seat when he noticed I changed the topic.

“They left already,”

My brows rose. I poured more water into my glass.

“Why are you here?”

“I’m planning to stay until dinner,”

I nodded.

“I can see that. Obviously. But why?”

Silenced stretched in the room. I quietly drank my water as I waited for his answer. He seemed unsure of his answer. He just looked at me with those dark and brooding eyes.

“Let me guess, you don’t know,” I sighed as I walked out of the room.

Even before I could escape the kitchen, he was able to grab my hand. I sighed as my shoulders dropped. To be honest with me, it kinda tiring. How I have been asking him questions but he couldn’t even answer them. I know for a fact that I should be relieved that he is in good knowledge who is his mate but just seeing all his reactions and movement lately, I am getting more confused rather than be at peace. 

It’s tiring because it happens over and over again. it’s like a cycle not wanting to break. I faced him with my blank expression. I raised a brow, questioning him.

“I like you,”

My body immediately responded to what just came out of his mouth. I pulled back my hand from him and took a step back. I am well aware this day might come but I never knew that it would come so early especially that he experienced a mating call last night with Zafeya and he kissed her! So, everything that happened last night was just a joke! My first writing was a joke?!

I shook my head. I thought in the next few days, I’ll be fine. I’ll roam around this world without thinking of the assumptions my mind made because of Forest. Assumptions that he might like me. And now, it’s really happening.

“You’re joking,” I can’t let it sink in me. I refuse this sudden confession.

“I know you won’t reciprocate any feelings, Nav…” he trailed off.

“That is not even the point here. It doesn’t even matter if I would like you back. You have a freaking mate, Forest!” I hissed.

“I know. That’s why I’m torn,”

“You don’t have to be torn. You can just choose her!”

He shook his head in so much frustration. I could see it. The battle with his heart, mind, and self was evident to me.

“I can easily do that, Nav—”

I cut him off.

“Then do it!”

“I can’t!”

I paused for a while. The heck. All the emotions came running into me without me noticing it. I shook my head, scared of the question in my head. Or… just scared of the answer he will give me. I breathed heavily.

“Why? W-why can’t you just choose h-her?”

His head surrendered. He just let it drop. His eyes face the floor as I hesitate to run away from this situation. I am scared of the answer he’ll give but I also want to know. I don’t know if it’s for my satisfaction or I just simply want to know… to end this.

“I find myself looking for you.”

I laughed without humor. I can’t believe that’s his basis for liking me.

“You can be looking for me and not liking me, Forest.”

He shook his head.

“Then why can’t I stop thinking of you? Why do you linger in my mind every day and night?”

I swallowed. My tongue immediately wanted to back out. I never wanted this kind of confrontation. I don’t want it like this. Why does it have to be like this?

“You have a mate, Forest.” I just have to remind him of that. He might have forgotten that he is forever linked by Zafeya.

He nodded slowly.

“I know but why…” he trailed off.

I shook my head and raised both of my hands.

“I am not tolerating any of this, Forest.”

Finality laced on my voice.

“I know. I just want my feelings to be known or just let it out or I’ll go crazy over you, Nav. I don’t want to because I respect Zafeya.”

“Then get rid of that feeling for me, Forest. I don’t need it. Nobody needs and wants it.”

His intense eyes burned me that I had to look away. I blinked a couple of times to calm myself. The words I said earlier just sank in me. I know those words might have hurt him but it says otherwise when I saw his face. The angelic face he used to have every time seemed like it has been flushed to the toilet.

I matched his brooding eyes to tell him I mean everything I said.

“I will assure you that.”

I nodded and I walked out of the room. The time I was able to get out of there, I was able to breathe evenly. I didn’t even realize that I was not breathing properly earlier. It was when I got far from him that I finally breathed calmly.

I promised myself to finish my mission here as soon as possible. I don’t have any intentions of breaking that promise to myself. I will keep it regardless of hurting Forest. I don’t care if he’ll be in pain. His heart is not mine. An owner already conquered it already.

As I kept my promises, I took another sign on my fifth writing. I kept on making myself busy with Forest and Zafeya. I worked myself out just to fasten the writing. I had to take measures where Forest needs to realize that he is for Zafeya and Zafeya is for him.

I am not part of their relationship and I never wish to be part of it. I am only an Angel who will make their strings of fate stronger. I am here for that, not anything else.

Even if I was also confused, I will never let myself be swayed by it. I will be loyal to the Goddess and the Moon.

Because even if I will want Forest, there’s no point.

It’s not worth it and we’ll end up killing each other.

To be continued...