Written by the Moon

37~ LOST AND DARK WOODS

Tiningnan ko sa malayo si Mark. Matapos ang pag-uusap namin, umalis lang siya na parang wala. Curious ako kung bakit gano'n nalang ang reaksyon niya. Hindi naman ito ang inasahan ko. Kahit gano'n nagpasalamat naman ako kay Mark. He didn't judge me nor hated me. Instead, he was calm like he accepts me wholely. I smiled as he turned to me gave me a thumbs up. Para bang sinasabi niya na okay lang ang lahat kahit hindi naman. Tsk!

He knows that he can trust me. He knows me that much. But like he said, I have changed. Kahit ako, hindi inasahan iyon. Ang pagbabago, hindi ko alam kung ano ang pinanggalingan. But one thing is for sure, I am not the old Nav that he knows. I am not the old Nav anymore. Half of the old me is still here but the new one is dominant.

Bumuntong hininga ako habang umalis na sa bench. School is tough. Mahirap man ang pag-aaral sa Paredes, mahirap din dito. Hindi man kaparehas ang paraan ng pagtuturo pero walang kapantay ang sari-sariling hirap nito. I had to train physically and mentally in Paredes for my future missions. Noon, mahirap talaga pero lalo lang itong humirap nang ipinasa sa akin ang relic, the pen. Nobody saw it coming but I did.

When one of the relic was passed to me, all the burden and responsibility to be an Acadian. Dahil kami, inaalay namin ang aming buhay sa Wolf na tutulongan namin sa kanilang landas sa pag-ibig. We are there teachers.

Kaso sa nangyari sa amin ni Forest, iba ata. Instead of being a teacher, I am now a slave to his love. Well, that had a big turn. It's funny how destiny plays so much. When I thought that destiny could be written by me, I was wrong. I don't hold it. But I wish I can. I just wish.

Kada uwi ko galing eskuwelahan, nagsasanay ako sa pagsusulat. Kailangan ko nang bunalik ulit sa dating ako. I like my new self. I'm more patient than before. I am more concerned with the people around me and I devote myself more on the things I do. But I need my old self back again.

I continuously chanted a spell as I swirl my pen. Dust started to follow the drection of my pen as I attracted the wind with it. Siguro samoung libro na ang nababasa ko para lang bumalik ang aking kakayahang magsulat. At isa sa paraan niyon ay ang pagbalik sa nasunog na Sacramentong papel galing sa abo. The savred oapers kept on burning everytime I finish writing so I had to make ways. Ways that I can tame the sacred paper.

When I felt the slight tinges on my fingers, like electricity, the pen feel from my hand. I immediately sucked the blood hoing out from my finger. It's the fifth scar now. I sighed. Ganito palagi ang nangyayari kapag sinusubukan ko ang pag resurrect ng sacred paper. It rejects me and I end up bleeding on my fingers.

The metalic taste of my blood invaded my mouth again as I picked up my pen. When I stood up to take my chances again to resurrect the sacred paper, my eyes met with the moon. It was a perfect timing. The moment I stood up, the moon saw me as I saw her. Matagal na rin bago ko siya huling nakita. Palagi kitang iniiwasan at ngayon hindi ko naman namalayan na makita ka muli.

"I'm sorry," I've said this in my prayer but never in front of the moon. I was scared. The moon might disown me. I already feel neglected, I just don't want to feel it again. Ayoko.

I sighed as I went to my balcony. The stars and the moon are shining brightly tonight. I looked up at it. My eyes felt tired looking from above so I had to look down. When my eyes went down, it met with the Forest. The trees. The woods.

I sighed as a thought came into my mind. When I avoided the moon, I also tried erasing my memories eith the Forest. It was the place, he saved me and confessed to me. Ite meant a lot that I had to erase just everything. Ngayon, gusto ko na siyang kalimutan. Ayoko na rin puntahan.

Takot ako. Takot ako na makita siya muli doon. I have feelings for him as well as he has for me. I don't want to get to a point where he finds out my true feelings. It might be dangerous or chaos might evolve.

But when I saw the Forest, the moon whispered.

"Go."

It was so clear that my heart felt it too. My nreathing fastened. I swallowed hard. Should I go? The moon wants me to go. With my closed eyes and faith to the moon, I jumped from my balcony and ran to the woods.

The fresh breeze to the wind, hit my pale skin. I felt the tiny shivers of my body as I felt the cold wind. It's been long. It felt like hundreds of years. Parang ito ang hinahanap ko ng matagal na at ngayon na nakita ko na, I felt the calmness and relief. My white long night dress touched the dead leaves of the forest. The sound of my footsteps was all I could here together with the crickets and owlfs.

This place has neve been so peaceful to me. The moon is my guide for tonight. It has always been my guide. I wouldn't know what to do without the moon. As I felt nostalgic feeling of the sound of the water running, I knew I was close to the river. I am now close to the Alcazar's territory. I remembered my encounter here with Forest.

I smiled unconsciously.

I walked to the opposite direction of the river. Alam komg hindi na pwede akong pumunta doon. Baka makita ko lang siya. Manghina naman ako imbes na napatatag ko na ang puso. Maghihirap na naman ang puso ko at bumigay pa. I want to love freely but I know I can't. I am destined only for the Moon Goddess and no one else. The Moon Goddess gave me life and power, I must know who to love and appreciate. Only her.

But why does Forest have to come to the picture?

I strolled around the forest, trying to avoid the sound of the river. It is tempting. Matagal na rin noong huli kong pagligo doon. My body is missiong the fresh water already even if it didn't touc it yet. I had to breathe lightly just to take my attention away from the gush of water.

Hindi nagtagal, 'di ko rin matiis. I just wish Forest is not here. Sana nasa kwarto niya siya ngayon at natutulog na. I chanted a speel to mask my scent. Ilang beses ko 'tong pinagsanayan para epektibo na. Sana, hindi ako maramdaman ni Forest kung nasa malapit man siya.

I slowly walked to the tempting waters of the river. The water reflected the moon. This river just compliments the moon so well. I smiled as I looked around and no one is jereyexcept me.

I sighed as I slowly took off my night dress. In Paredes I was used to swimyin the river naked. Plus, I'm the only one here. So, I took off my undergarments. It doesn't scare me that much that someone might see my naked body. I can just cast a spell and make them forget about what happened, an advantage for being an Angel. Although, I've haven't used that type of power yet since it's so strong it might kill me.

I submerged my body into the eater slowly as it's coldness hugged every corner of me. I closed my eyes as my body is finally in the depths of the river. I swam into the light the moon guided for me. I let my body enjoy the motion of the water and creaturesnif the water swim with me.

Ilang segundo ako sa ilalim habang lumalangoy. I swam deeper and deeeper until I reached the bottom. I looked up and saw the blurry light if the moon. I blinked as I remembered my journey just to get away from this hell. Naalala ko ang paghihirap at pagod para lang maiwasan ang lugar na to dahil alam komg ipapadala naman ako dito kapag hindi ako maging Manodestra.

When I came back to the surface, all my thoughts were wrong. Noong inisip ko na wala dito sa Forest. Mali pala ako. At mas lalong hindi ko inasahan na kasama niya si Zafeya. I still get surprised. But why would I? It is already expected as they are Destin for each other forever.

Nang natanaw ko ang masayang pag-uusap nang dalawa, nakita ko 'yon na chance para makaalis dito. I slowly got out of the water just close to the rock formations. Pero ang mga damit ko, nasa malayo sa akin. Buti nalang nakatago iyon sa isang punuan. I can transport my clothes here easily. Iyon sana ang gagawin ko agad kaso nahagip ng mata ko ang pagtanggal ni Forest sa kan'yang shirt at pants, leaving him his boxers. Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko. Nakita ko naman ang pagtanggal rin ng damit ni Zafeya, leaving her with her bikini. Ang hubog ng katawan nito ay napakaganda. Halatang pinaghirapan talaga.

Napaiwas ako ng tingin tinulungan ni Forest si Zafeya na makaapak sa tubig. Hindi siguro sanay. The first step you take into the river, malalim na kaagad. At mukhang hindi rin marunong lumangoy si Zafeya.

She had to hold onto Forest thick muscles on his arms just to be floating. I had t swallow hard. This scene... is just so unexpected to me. Alam ko naman na dadating sila na magkakaisa ang katawan. Obligsayon noal iyon para sa kanilang kapares pero kahit ganito lang na simpleng kilos at pangyayari, hindi ko ma process sa aking isipan.

They looked so good for me to think about ruining it. I mist be delusional to think na sana ako ang nasa posisyon ni Zafeya. I am crazy to think na ako nalang sana when I shouldn't be thinking about that in the first place.

May trabaho ako. Oo, at parte si Forest nito pero hindi dapat ako oarte sa buhay niya. I belong in the woods where Forest doesn't need to look for. He already has a flower beside him, blooming and beautiful. Not in the woods, lost and dark.

To be continued...