Addiction to Reality

There is a lot of things about the world today that does not make sense especially for those who struggle with addiction. The way society views addicts is a lot different from how they did a long time ago. Addicts are becoming a equal part of society being known as individuals who can't maintain a positive life style while using drugs. People would judge us and think of us as a out cast not knowing or even willing to really understand the power of our addiction and what we are really going through. We are expected to just snap out of it but what people don't understand it's not that easy Addiction is a disease if it is left untreated it can be deadly. It is all most impossible to just act like there's no urge or desire to return to using that's why there was meetings that were formed by other addicts to help other addicts stay clean. With each and every addict inside these rooms there is a s********e may be worse than others but the sole purpose of these self help meetings Are to help us have a place we can go and feel comfortable to talk about our problems and ask for suggestions that may help us reframe from using. Only the willing addict will continue the correct path and be dedicated to living a drug free life it takes Willingness and the desire to stop using to be able to take this serious. There is people who struggle with addiction and they loose there life because they didn't follow a suggestion or were to afraid of the comedowns and body aches and body pains , or the physical soreness we experience due to not taking care of our selfs properly. I can say being afraid to give our selfs a chance to do something different is the most difficult feeling that we can have. We have to find the willingness inside our selfs that will drive us to go to the 12 step meetings and be willing to work the steps. I seen my self at the lowest point I could go and did I like what I saw No. I didn't but did I stop No I would often ask my self why. The only possible answer I was able to give my self was I wasn't ready I didn't want to change I didn't want to stop using. I can tell u today that me making that decision to do something different my life has only improved I am at a place today that I'm ok with being who I am I'm ok with being myself. I have noticed that our past creeps up on us all the things we neglected or forgot about surly makes it self known once we stop using but it's important to not let this discourage us from moving forward. We have a chance to correct our wrongs and make amends to those we hurt. I know how it is when we are doing good and we really are doing the work to maintain that positive life and we're putting all our efforts into staying clean and our family's or loved ones not believing us hurts. We may have forgot all the hurt we caused our family or loved ones because of this they don't believe us because of the choices we made in our past and all the hurt or lies we told them the years of putting them through what we did. Makes it harder for them to be able to trust what we say so of course there not going to believe us but we can't blame them we can only blame our selfs. The fact we have hurt and have lied to them it's no wounded why they don't believe us when we finally got it when we're finally making a change it's hard for them to believe it and it causes them to still stay at a distance. We can't blame them for doing so there afraid of being hurt again they also don't want to watch us kill our selfs anymore than they have we have to allow them time to heal and not expect praise or a welcoming right away there's allot of emotional pain we have caused. I know it sucks not getting the praise or acceptance of doing good from the ones we love in all reality all we have to do is be proud of our selfs for making the decision to do something different we know as being a addict if we're serious or not about what we're doing. There's is a saying I like and seen on one of my friends post it says "If you can do what ever it takes to get hie You can do what ever it takes to stay clean" Now u read that and think ok there's a point right , because we as addicts do any means necessary to get that drink/drug am I right or wrong? I know for me this hits home because me as a addict I did anything and everything u can think of to get that drug/drink so if we use that same energy and apply it to our recovery we will not fail. If you really apply yourself to recovery and work a honest program and truly take the 12 steps serious you will truly receive the benefits of a better life. "We as addicts can only keep what we have by giving it away." Meaning what knowledge we gain from this program we use to help other addicts who are struggling to reach the same point of life we have and be the living proof that this program works.The minute u go to a meeting and find a sponsor and work the steps with them the transformation has begun. The true intention of helping another addict to stay clean is to help them during the struggle they are facing to reframe from using. The reason we surround our selfs with other addicts is because we are truly tired of being beaten battered and broken. We have finally got to a spot to we're we are comfortable in life we're going to 12 step meetings going through (IOP) Intensive Out Patient doing what we know works best for us to stay clean. By working the program u will see yourself holding a job longer than u ever had before even gaining a clean date longer than u ever have been able to you feel good and feel like we're finally doing it but we can't mistake and think we can do the rest on our own I'm talking from experience. I have made that mistake we're I thought I got this I don't need to go to meeting or work the steps any more having this kind of thinking is wrong it was not to much longer before I found my self Holmes beaten battered and broken again. I would often look in the mirror and tell my self what am I doing and found my self in situations that I knew I shouldn't be in. I found my self doing more and more and then lead me to doing something worse something I thought I would have never done in my life I would all ways say no that's not for me. what I was doing made me overdose and when I laid there I told my self is this really how I want to live my life surrounded by people who don't care about me. We're the only thing they care about is what I had to offer or what I could give them. while the real people who care about me are staying away because they can't see me like this I have came to see the i was really all alone. I know I don't want to spend my life surrounded by people who only want to use me I want to be loved and want to be surrounded by people I love. I realized I had a drug problem the day I overdosed I realized my life became unmanageable I really was disappointed with my self that I have allowed my self to fall to the level I did. So I went to a treatment center and talked to a counselor and asked to go to Inpatient Treatment Center I went to a 28 day program and got out I started doing I.O.P and was looking for work I thought because I have a drug problem it would be ok to drink alcohol. I was wrong we as addicts have to be careful on not to think of alcohol as different our addiction does not discriminate thinking other wise can be crucial for our recovery. Life on life's turns is what people say coming to the self help meetings are only to help us learn from each other and help us learn other ways to help stay clean. This is a disease we will have forever it's not like we go to a meeting or go through treatment and we're cured this is not the case this is a life long commitment we are willing to commit to. The only cure we have is the 12 step meetings and along with the self help support meetings, and actually working the steps and becoming active in a recovery community. Without doing any of these we are leaving our disease untreated and there for it will not be put to rest. Only through working the program will help put our addiction into a state that represses it from becoming active. I like to think of it as if you have a disease your going to go to the doctor and find out what's wrong and what we can do to cure it in this case no doctor can prescribe us any medication to help us with our disease. The only medication we have is working the steps and applying our selfs to the program. I can tell u from experience not working the program has proved difficult and my life is all ways unmanageable I don't know about you but for me I am tired of struggling I mean really who likes staying at the trap house with ur "homie" or "friends" and having them kick you out all time and play so many mental games with you. I know for me being there was the only place I had to go it hurt i know I thought this person was my "friend". The reality was he only wanted the drugs/alcohol I was able to provide for them they didn't care about me at all. I was devastated when this happened I really thought I had a "friend" turns out I didn't. This is a perfect example of how people take advantage of those who are beaten battered or broken and have nothing left. Not having no we're to turn to or no we're to go I thought I would be ok living in my car. Then I would find my self driving everywhere and using at parks, parking lots any we're I could find that was vacant I was wasting gas to go around and use at places I thought I never would. Then i would go to all these places were people didn't really want me to be the only reason they wanted me there was because I'm the one that had the drugs or had the plug. This is no way to live during this time I have surrounded my self with people who don't care what happens to me. There was times I would ask my self why do they treat me this way and found my self hurting more than I all ready was running from my emotions also running from the lies I told my self. I hated feeling sad, depressed, lonely, being broken it was to much to bare so I continued to use thinking it would make me feel better but all it did was make me feel worse. This program offers people who truly want to be your friend and people who truly care, all the trials and Tribulations I put my self through all the pain and hurt I was running from I only found living that way was making everything worse and made the feelings I was running from worse . So I told my self would it be so bad to try something different ? Would my life get any worse than it all ready has ? What do I have to loose I'm all ready homeless living in a place we're no one wants me there the reality of this helped make that decision. On 10-12-23 I entered into a treatment center it was a 28 day program that day when I got there and walked through those door something happened I felt allot of weight lift off my shoulders and finally felt free. Something else happened too I realized my first 3 days there I made the decision to get clean I finally had enough I walked through those doors with a open mind and a open heart and was paying attention to the groups and got really involved with the treatment program the day I left I left a new man. I felt like I finally knew who I was and knew what I was going to do with my life there's a story by this famous guy he says he was a very successful individual he had box office movies went on tour with a famous skate border sold a lot of books but the only thing he was unsuccessful at was using drugs. We are not alone there is allot of people who struggle with addiction there is many forms of addiction there is also many forms of recovery everywhere u go u will find a type of recovery that best fits the types of addiction. The famous person stated if u go in to a treatment program with a closed mind and a closed heart I won't be able to learn how to recover the key to success is to have a open mind and a open heart to be able to truly understand what there trying to teach u about addiction. Now if ur like me going through the treatment process numerous times and you feel like there's no hope ask your self do u have a open mind and a open heart ? Are you willing to take suggestions and follow them as directed ? I can tell u I asked my self the same questions and I thought about it and I told my self how do I know if my mind is open or closed ? The answer to that was do u pay attention and actually care about what there saying and trying to teach u and are u following the directions as directed also are u able to remember what your being told and are u able to use it and apply it to your life if so I believe u have a open mind and a open heart. Following suggestions isn't that hard u may say well I tried that but it didn't work. Did you try it the exact way they suggested ? If not give it a try and keep a open mind and if something doesn't work out how u thought don't panic because these things will happen this is why having a sponsor is important. When things like this happen you pick up your phone and call your sponsor or a close friend that's in recovery and talk to them about it get new suggestions and follow them as well. Having that person to be able to call and talk to is important it help you be able to relive ur self of troubling thoughts and helps you be able to understand more about what steps u can take to achieve ur goals as well. Working the steps is all about self reflection when u start working the steps you will see parts of your self you may not have noticed don't let this discourage u but give u the opportunity to grow. I found that living just for today relieves the burden of the past and the fear of the future. We need to stay open minded and willing to do that one extra thing for, example going to a meeting or as little as staying on the phone for one extra minute and or help the new comer stay clean one extra day. This extra effort is vital to our recovery ! It is imperative to keep members from the meetings and program close to us at all times if possible. It is crazy how our minds will go back to our old ways and old thinking. We grow through pain in recovery and often find that such a crises is a gift it's an opportunity to experience growth by living a clean life. Don't be afraid of being the new comer it doesn't matter if your someone who was all ready working the program don't be afraid to walk back through those doors there is no shame in returning after use. No matter what you will be welcomed back with open arms we live and we learn the important part is to come back and do what u know works or if this is your first time finding the program don't become discouraged or be afraid to walk in them doors you will be treated respectfully and accepted with open arms don't be afraid to give your self a chance. I like to look at it like this you weren't afraid of meeting a new dealer or going to a new bar you gave those things a chance so why not give recovery one to the worst thing that can happen is you stay and get clean now that doesn't sound to bad right. The new comer is the most important person in any meeting. Newer members are a constant source of hope, reminding us that the program works we have the opportunity to live the knowledge acquired by staying clean and allowing us to work with the new comers allows the person helping them also stay clean and through the experience strength and hope we can share our stories with each other and help each other stay clean for another day because we can only keep what we have by giving it away. I can tell you from experience that my life was unmanageable I felt like I couldn't do anything right no matter how I did it or tried to fix things everything continued to get worse. Until I finally came to exceptence with I do have a drug/alcohol problem u know u do when your life is unmanageable. Making the decision to do something about it came when I was ready for change I was in and out of this program I had 2 1/2 years clean and I experienced that love and companion ship they offer in the program now u may ask how come I came back well we're all human and no one is perfect. I went through a emotional time and I wasn't truly clean I was drinking thinking alcohol was different but later I found out I was wrong. Sure I was able to manage my life for a little while but the secrets and lies I told others in the program about being clean left me carrying guilt. How could I sit a lie to all these people who were helping me stay clean and behind there backs still drinking that wasn't fair to me or to them I wasn't hurting them but it's the hurt I caused my self. I later found my self using drugs again thinking sense I was able to manage alcohol I could do the same with drugs now again I was wrong I ended up crashing my car and lost my house I started having a unmanageable life. It wasn't until I was being taken advantage of and being treated like I was nothing for me to come to a point in life we're I was tired of living that way. Only because of my knowledge of the program and being a repeat offender referring to my relapse I knew what I needed to do to get clean. There came a time when I realized what it meant when people say you burnt your bridges it gained a whole knew meaning. Life will get hard being a recovering addict you will eventually get to a point were you think things are working out everything is finally falling into place. Then unexpectedly something will become a stumbling block we can't allow this to discourage us we can't allow it to detour our motivation we have to the commitment of staying clean it don't matter what it is we can find a way to get through it. I mean we found a way to get what we wanted in active addiction so we take this same energy and apply it to our recovery and find a way to make it work. I have found the dedication and determination to continue working hard and proving to my self that I can do this I found my self worth and know how much I am tired of struggling. This little thing no matter how big it may be or seam there is a way to overcome it and continue to succeed why return to being broken lost or confused all because one thing didn't go our way. We will be ok as long as we continue to work our program and continue to do what we know will help us succeed when something like this happens call your sponsor talk to some one at a meeting get a suggestion on how to best approach or handle the situation someone may even offer to be by your side the whole time. Today we have a decision a choice to make no one controls your destination besides your self only we can make the decision to stay clean or to do what we need to in order to improve our current situation from we're we were or may still be. Life is a journey filled with ups and downs, and for those battling addiction, the path can be particularly challenging. However, it is important to remember that no matter how difficult things may seem, we always have the power to change our reality. We will explore the inspiring journey from addiction to reality, reminding ourselves that life after addiction is possible with hard work and dedication. Life is a journey with unexpected twists and turns. At times, we may find ourselves caught in our addiction, struggling to regain control. However, it is crucial to remember that our reality is ultimately shaped by the decisions we make. Overcoming addiction and embracing a life free from drugs. It is a journey that requires unwavering dedication and relentless hard work. As we explore the Reality and the profound transformations that can occur when one makes the choice to break free from addiction and embrace a new way of life. We will truly be able to see the miracle that has made it self known in mine and every other addict in the program I'm here to share my experience strength and hope and hopefully reach out to the still suffering addict and possibly save a life if not save a life hopefully plant that seed to let them know there is someone out here that does care and that person cares enough to write this book in hopes to reach others who are to afraid to go to a meeting or to afraid to ask for help. I'm here to tell you there's hope and I'm the living proof that this program does work. All we have is just for today take it one day at a time Life is full of lessons the reality of how life plays out is all up to us no matter what there will be a decision to be made either u think it through or you don't but if we only have one life to live wouldn't u think the best interest would be to take the time and be careful with what decision u choose. Knowing that the life u have u only get to live it once how many years do we have. I can tell you I don't know but one thing I do know is life is short how do you see your self in the future. Do you still want to be stuck in the hopeless cycle ? Are you beaten battered or broken are you tired of struggling day by day do you miss your family or loved ones ? Do you want to change your current circumstances ? Give this program a chance allow your self to take the opportunity to try something knew the worst that can happen you like it and stay and receive a new life. If you don't like it everything out there will still be there if u decide ur not ready if you all ready lost everything there's nothing else to loose right ? The road to recovery is not easy, but it is possible. It requires hard work, dedication, and a commitment to making positive choices every day. life is full of lessons, and the reality of how it plays out is ultimately in your hands. Whether you choose to think through your decisions or not, the programs available to us are here to support us on our journey towards a brighter future. We come to understand that life after addiction will require hard work and dedication commiting to a program and working the steps with a sponsor can turn our addiction into a reality of hope, resilience, and success. Trust me it works I am currently working a program and am dedicated my self to recovery there so much they have to offer. During the summer they have recovery camp outs man there so fun we get the chance to go and meet others from all over and hear there stories and encouragement and shows recovery works every we're. They also have conventions in seaside like really on the beach it gives u a opportunity to travel and experience things we never have before idk about you but for me I never ben to the beach and the first time I did it was amazing. Feeling how cold that salt water is and being able to have that experience of real sand between ur toes and seeing all the families around u happy having a blast you get to see the real beauty of life and why it's worth getting clean. Being in recovery has opened so many doors for me and they can for you to all you have to do is take the steps like I did and you will get to have the same experiences I am. There is even recovery camp river floats how cool is that we bbq , fish, have a meeting in the wilderness surrounded by nature and get a real spiritual awaking and get to experience reality away from addiction. Being surrounded by people who are just like us fighting for the same goal to remain sober for one more day to see how life really is precious and having that feeling that we're not alone really helps. I urge you to take a moment and look into something's that in the long run will be beneficial for you give it a try I promise you won't be disappointed all we have is today and if we decide today to take that step to make the difference to ensure our future will become better then what it is or was in the end you will have that it was worth the work moment and the next time you look into a mirror you will see the real you and be able to say u did it. I understand the struggle and how I was afraid to try something I knew nothing about I can honestly say this is one of the best decisions I made in my life and I wouldn't change it for nothing going from being beaten battered and broken to being restored and having that independence I once lost back also being able to find a new way to live I have been able to gain my self respect and my self dignity through this program I have made new friends and developed new relationships with people I thought wasn't possible. Everyone I am around now are excepting me for who I am and we're I came from no one judges me having this feeling makes me feel like I belong for the first time in my life I feel appreciated and wanted. Having that feeling of belonging really helps there's nothing in the world better then then that felling. Addiction is a powerful force that can consume a person's life, but it doesn't have to define their future. Addiction can taking away your freedom and happiness It can feel like there's no way out, trapping you in a cycle of destructive behavior. This disease can consume your life and leave you feeling trapped, hopeless, and disconnected from reality. It's a constant battle that affects every aspect of your life. Through hard work, dedication, and support, you can overcome addiction and create a better future for yourself. You can break free from addiction and regain control over your future. It's time to make the decision to change and embrace a new reality of sobriety and fulfillment. Through a combination of therapy, counseling, and personalized strategies, you can break free from addiction and create a reality filled with hope.