Kairos

Understand me. I am not like ordinary people. I do not live by the rules they set, nor follow the rhythm they understand. I have my own chaos, my own thoughts spinning far from their reality, my own shadows guiding me through dimensions they cannot see. Not everyone can feel the depth of what I feel; not everyone can see the world the way I see it. And that is the tragedy—you understand them, but they will never understand you. In that unrest, in that constant feeling of separation, lies your true nature. The story begins with an apparently ordinary man. Full of flaws, yet also countless virtues. A living body through which hot blood rushes and flickers in all directions. It flows through every wire, every cell… In that, we do not differ much from animals. What animals have that we do not is peace. At the end of the day, the only thing a human truly needs is exactly that: the peace of the human soul. And now you are given permission to enter Teia’s world—her thoughts, her pain, her anxiety, and her heart. --- Teia is an INFP—introspective, sensitive, deeply thoughtful, often lost in her own mind and daydreams. Her worlds are full of shades of emotion, hidden meanings, and silence that speaks louder than words. In high school, Teia sat in the last row of the classroom, pressed against her desk, almost as if she wanted to blend into her surroundings. Her black hair fell gently over her shoulders, partly covering her face, while her dark eyes quietly absorbed the classroom—the shadows, the whispers, every subtle movement. She was introspective, vulnerable, endlessly empathetic, with a sense that the world around her pulsed with emotions others did not notice. In her mind, every glance and every word carried weight; she often imagined what people thought, how they felt, and what they hid behind their smiles. Her imagination was rich and expansive—she could see entire stories in tiny moments, imagining worlds far beyond the classroom. Yet, despite her inner strength and creativity, she was withdrawn, quiet, and insecure about her own worth. Teia often doubted herself. Even when she noticed someone’s attention, wondering if it was genuine or just a joke, her mind tirelessly analyzed every nuance, every possible scenario. There were moments when she wished to disappear from others’ sight, yet at the same time she longed for true connection and understanding. Every little detail—a whisper in the hallway, a smile, a look—was part of a puzzle she tried to piece together, striving to understand the world and her place within it. --- People did not attack directly—no, they were more sophisticated. Comments spread like shadows through groups of students, subtly intertwining voices: one girl would laugh while whispering to her friend behind someone’s back, while a boy nodded in confirmation of the critique. Teia absorbed everything, feeling her stomach tighten. Every laugh, every quiet conversation was a sign of danger. But no one said anything openly. Everyone spoke between the lines, leaving Teia in the shadow of their looks and whispers, forced to guess what they thought and how they judged her. She learned that every movement and every word could be commented on, so she tried to hide, to be invisible, to breathe quietly, and avoid attention. During a test, the teacher decided to change the seating arrangement for all students. He slowly passed by the desks and said to Thedor: “Sit next to Teia.” Her heart skipped a beat, her palms became sweaty. All attention, at least in her perception, was now on her—not directly, but through the whispers and looks she absorbed. Thedor slowly approached, and his presence was surprisingly calming, yet intense. His eyes quietly followed every her move, every tremor of her hands, every scratch of paper. The test began; silence filled the classroom, broken only by the scratch of pencils on paper. Teia tried to focus, but the feeling of being watched did not stop. Don’t look at him like that… it will be weird… everyone will talk about me again… [He wonders whether to ask a stupid question because it’s uncomfortable] Teia lifted her gaze toward him, her heart racing. Her silence seemed to him like a sign that he could try. “Is the answer B?” he asked quietly, almost unsure, as if seeking approval. Teia only nodded, and at that moment, it seemed as if the whole world froze for a moment, every thought and every sound disappearing around them. He asked if the answer was B, and she nodded. Teia froze—her heart racing. She nodded slightly while a thousand questions spun in her mind: Why ask such a simple question? Does he think I’m stupid? Strange… Even a foolish person knows this kind of question. As she wrote, she felt his gaze over the paper, her hands, her movements. His attention was overwhelming, but not in a frightening way—more like quiet curiosity. [His inner thoughts and observations, questioning why he judged her before] Thedor noticed how her hands trembled slightly while writing the answer. Before sitting next to her, he had thought she was cold, somewhat elusive… now he saw attention and gentle precision in every movement. “Why did I think she was strange? Why did I judge her for no reason?” he thought, surprised by his own feeling of guilt. His gaze toward her carried no judgment, only quiet curiosity—gentle, sincere. Every subtle expression, every slight twitch of her hands now gave him meaning he had not noticed before. When the test ended, Thedor returned to his seat, the smile not leaving his face. He slowly told his friends that they had similar handwriting and smiled. Teia thought: I can’t believe it… Is he laughing at me? Judging me? I don’t understand… As others whispered and commented, Teia consciously absorbed all micro-movements, secret smiles, and half-whispers. It all created pressure. From the shadow of social anxiety arose the first quiet curiosity toward Thedor’s attention—a feeling simultaneously confusing and exciting. On the way home, waiting for the bus, her thoughts revolved around the day—every glance, every question, every whisper. As soon as she got home, she threw her bag on the floor and sat on the bed, and her thoughts immediately began to race. Showering did not wash away the uneasy feeling in her stomach. She ate slowly, while scenes from the day ran through her mind. Why did I notice every single movement of his…? she thought, holding a fork in her hand, already lost in thought. Am I imagining it? Or is it really like that? No… it can’t just… can it? I’m confused. The scratch of the pencil, the faint click of paper, his gaze—why did a single look feel like a punch in the stomach? The whisper in her head grew louder: I pretend to be cool, but I’m actually scared. I’m scared, yet I feel alive. Teia hugged her knees on the edge of the bed. Chaos for her, peace for him. She followed him in her thoughts, quietly, feeling his trace throughout the day. Is she chasing a shadow—or is he a shadow that wants to stay? Her own shadow—curiosity, fear, longing—took over the day. All she could do was let go. Night covered the city. She breathed. Echoes of judgment and cold looks from months past still followed her, but something was different. Maybe it was him, maybe her mind sought light. For now, she will not run. She will feel, quietly, without answers, without judgment. The shadow of the day softened. She closed her eyes. Alone, in her space, ready to follow her thoughts, fears, and curiosity… Every screen glow, every window light made her feel him — always a step behind, like a shadow she couldn’t escape. And then, in the silence of her room, a soft whisper reached her: ‘I’m closer than you think. PS: Come back. Even as a shadow, even as a dream.