You Came Back

Oh No

"Don't pull away again. People are watching."he whispered in my ear, sending goosebumps down my neck and igniting the fire in my core.

Why must my body betray me! Traitor!

My head was screaming no. "One. Dance." I whispered through gritted teeth. He chuckled and continued to the beat. He slipped his hand on my waist and pulled me closer to him. Sparks of electricity shot up my hip, making my head feel woozy. "I'm guessing your family doesn't know about our summers for three years." That snapped me back to reality. "Why did you move here Jax?"

I felt his shoulders tense as he shook his head slightly. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." "Try me." He let out a rushed breath and pulled me closer. My eyes found him and I gasped. The sincerity in his eyes, they reminded me of the boy that I first fell in love with. "I came for you."he whispered. "Why?"

He shook his head at me. "Not tonight, Kita. I'll explain in all due time. Just not tonight. Let me have this dance. Ok?"

My heart strings pulled as I nodded my head. I'll give him this dance. Then it's right back to hating him tomorrow. It's hot out here.

My head began to spin, making me loose my balance. I tripped over his boots and was crashing to the ground when he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me back up. "You ok Kita?"

Words refused to leave my mouth as my throat filled with vomit. "You look pale." I threw my hands over my mouth and took off to the house. I felt Jax running up behind me, but I didn't have time to argue. I was going to throw up, no doubt about it.

No no no. Not here. Hold it Nikita!

I pushed through people and ran up the stairs. I knew of one bathroom that no one would be in. I slung the door to my old room open and ran into the bathroom. I hunched over the toilet just as the vomit touched my tongue. I threw up all the contents on my stomach as Jax pulled my hair back and rubbed my back. "It's ok. It's ok. Get it all out." He whispered as he soothed my back.

After emptying my stomach and dry heaving for another five, I finally was able to sit on the ground. I slid back into the wall and pulled my knees to my chest. Jax came walking back in with a bottle of water and a wash cloth. I didn't even notice him leave. Embarrassment flushed my cheeks. 

It had to be all the dancing. Or the fact I've only ever drank wine. 

 "Here. Drink this slowly."he said as he placed the water in my hands. 

I cracked the top and took a small sip as he wet the wash cloth and brought it to me. He dropped down to his knees and began wiping the sides of my mouth. "There. All better."

I pushed the cloth away and stood to my feet, smoothing my dress back down. "I'm not five." He chuckled as he stood up. "You're welcome babe." I rolled my eyes.

So not your "babe". Even if you are being nice!

I walked out of the bathroom and was hit with painful memories as I looked over my room. My mother didn't change a thing. Everything was in it's place. Looking over the room, I spotted the one thing that crushed my soul. It was still folded up on the bed. The memory of holding him in that blanket sent my emotions over the moon. I hadn't dealt with that pain yer, I didn't want to.  I shook my head and ran from the room before the tears could fall.

"Wait! Kita!" I spun on my heel and pushed him against the wall. "It's Nikita Jax!" His face showed confusion as a single tear rolled down my face. "It's only Nikita now." I whispered, then walked away.

I walked out the front door and down the driveway before anyone could see. I knew the way to Niko's, and I'm not drunk. After a mile, I slowed my pace. I just had to get away. The memories hurt to much to be there. Especially with him. I needed my best friend. Only she knew the absolute truth.  I would have walked to Zain and Mari's, but I didn't know where they lived now. And Niko mentioned earlier that they were in L.A. for the night.

Eventually I made it back to Niko's. The door was locked, but the gate to the deck wasn't. So I went and sat on the porch swing. The ocean was beautiful at this time of night. I could see a few lights from the fisherman's boats. The stars shown brighter out here. Something I forgot these past few years living in the big city. The breeze coming off the waves cooled my skin. I closed my eyes and breathed in the salty ocean air, and was happy when I couldn't detect car fumes or the pollution smell. All these little details I forgot.

 I got off the swing and laid down on the outside couch. I let a few tears fall as I prayed. "Tell me what to do. I miss you so much, it hurts. I need you more than anything." Sobs ripped through my chest. Eventually they calmed down and the tears slow their pace. I let the darkness over take me as the sounds of the waves soothed my soul.