Thirty-Nine: JaredI felt the weight of all of it. Finally. This was real. She was gone, and now I felt it. There had been absolutely nothing weird or uncomfortable about the service. It was…beautiful. She was beautiful, and I missed her laugh on the phone and the way she'd rest her hand on the console of my truck like it was by accident but really she wanted to hold mine, and the unapologetic way she'd remind me that we weren't really different at all. That was hit home today.
I couldn't get in that line and have words to say to her family. There weren't any words, and that made me a coward, but I was too exhausted to overcome it.
“Hey, Reed.” I knew he'd been waiting for me to process. He was kind of oddly understanding in that way.
“Yeah.”
“I'm not going to… I can't.” I knew he would
