Love or Lust

After a Horrendous Heartbreak

Love is hard to find they say. Smiling at that phrase I say It's not hard to find at all. It's hard to keep . When Sia met Rohan , she thought she had found her forever. Sia was a chubby looking curly haired girl. She was loved by her family and friends. She was young , mischievous and happy go lucky by nature.  Rohan was her friendsbook friend. He was young, worked out to stay fit. He used to be a heavy kid. He transformed himself into this great looking hulk was caring and shy in nature. . He used to text Sia for years until one day Sia texted him back too. 

    Chats happened . They used to talk every time . Sia found out Rohan was a junior in her high school. Rohan fell for Sia during college days only but Sia had no idea Rohan existed at all. Both of them fell in a pool of love. 

    The day came when they both decided to meet . Sia was happy but Rohan was the happiest. He was meeting the girl of his dreams after a long wait. Both of them felt like they've known each other since forever. They decided to be each other's. they were now boyfriend and girlfriend officially. Sia told her parents that she is in love with Rohan and Rohan's parents knew too. Both of them were happy with the seal of approval from their beloved parents. They used to meet once a fortnight as they were both young and were studying. They made time for each other. Everything was going as per they planned.

    Sia was overwhelmed by the love Rohan gave her. They were very much in love. Sia was Rohan's first girlfriend, his first love. He used to treasure her. She had an important place in Rohan's life. Sia loved Rohan as well . Even though Rohan was her second boyfriend, she felt like she was in love finally and hard. Sia used to have a boyfriend before him who used to torture her mentally , emotionally and physically. so, when got out of the previous relationship she felt like she could not ever trust a boy again , but Rohan was too loving and caring. Rohan used to sing as well. Rohan used to sing songs and play guitar for her . He knew how to make a girl happy. Sia felt the luckiest. 

    Everything was going great . Slowly they started to drift apart, Rohan was not wanting to meet and talks became lesser and lesser. Sia thought Rohan was busy as Rohan was also working and had to attend his classes . Sia was also busy with her college and internships. Both of them were busy but Sia longed for Rohan's presence. Shw was used to talking to Rohan everyday . She strongly felt Rohan was the one. Once Rohan asked Sia to meet him . Sia was happy and immediately answered yes. She got ready and waited for Rohan to pick her up. She waited for an hour and half after getting ready but Rohan did'nt show up. She called him and asked his whereabouts. Rohan told her  something came up and he'd be late . He asker her if she could to meet him at the cafe they always used to meet. She went to the cafe by herself and waited for Rohan . Rohan didnt show up. She waited for three hours but he didnt come. Sia was furious and sad as well. Sia made time to meet Rohan when she was busy. She took a leave from her internship  on a very important day . Sia still thought Rohan was caught up in something but she had no idea what was coming. It was a beginning of an end.

    Love makes you do different things. Sometimes it makes you wanna jump in excitement ,sometimes it makes you want to dance in the rain, sometimes it make you wanna curl up in your bed and sometimes it makes you wanna stay calm and composed. True love makes your heart calm , it gives you a feeling of relief. I heard that somewhere and it is the most beautiful and realistic thing that I have heard ever. It is absolutely true. People say love makes you do stupidest things, that might be true somehow but in my opinion its just attraction, the rush you feel when you have to impress someone. The definition of love varies from person to person but people do know somewhat that love is supposed to  enhance your happiness , not be your sole happiness.  

  Sia made Rohan her reason of happiness , which is why she is suffering now. It was the trauma from the previous relationship that made Sia's emotion dependent on her love interest Rohan. Rohan also was attracted to Sia but he felt it's love,. Love can happen to anyone , anywhere. It can be on the first time when you lay your eyes on someone, or it can happen when you are friends with someone for a long time . It is completely different from person to person.

    Sia asked Rohan to meet her after a week from when the incident happened, Rohan agreed too . Sia wanted answers of what went wrong and how could they fix it. Sia decided to surprise Rohan a day before they were supposed to meet. She knew it was his holiday that day so she bought flowers and made a card herself which stated," I LOVE YOU" "LET'S MAKE IT WORK" and went to see Rohan on his house. She reached his house. the door was unlocked and there was Rohan's grandma . She greeted grandma and asked where Rohan is and she went towards his room. When she opened the door, she was completely shattered. She couldn't stand properly . She was weak. She felt like she could faint anytime. She saw Rohan in bed getting cozy with a girl, who supposedly was his neighbor.

 She now understood what the reason of Rohan drifting apart was. She felt like she made a complete fool out of herself. The one who she thought would be her forever was found cheating. She could not handle it. Rohan's explanation was it was a mistake.  She threw the flowers and tore the card she made and rushed back home. She could not stop crying . This was her worst nightmare.

    Everything she dreamt of came crashing down. She was so sure about Rohan. She felt like she was finally getting what she deserved before this incident took place. She then remembered all the things that went wrong. All the red flags she ignored . She felt it was her mistake that Rohan took this step.She remembered Rohan's ignorance, not picking his phone up, constant lies.. She used to wake up every night. She couldnt sleep. When she closed her eyes, the image of Rohan getting frisky in bed with another person kept flashing in front of her eyes.

 All this trauma made Sia took this step of  taking sleeping pills. She used to take help of these pills to sleep. She did not eat properly. One thing she was good at was her studies . Whenever she could not sleep she used to study . She was so much into books. That's when she found her love for reading. She used to buy different books related to history, love triangles. She used to imagine and put her in the shoes of the character and would think what different would he have done . 

Days passed, weeks went by ,months rushed but she still could not forget Rohan and his betrayal. Her friends used to tell her to go on a date with someone else. They tried to set her up with the common friends. She could never do that. One of her best friends Pearl recently joined a dating app and suggested her to join as well. Pearl used to talk about the boys she matched with and their talks about many interests. Sia did not understand this concept at all.

Few weeks later another one of her best friends Sarah got into the same app and was talking all good about this app. this made her curious and made her want to join it. Sia finally had guts to download  the app and make a profile , that too for dating. It was so new for her. She made a profile, wrote some things about herself, her interests chose 5 of her best looking photos but she chose to use her nickname on that profile.