Powerless

It was a happy day today. It's been five years after dad's accident that we were celebrating the first jouyous occasion in the family. My sister, Aimal was getting engaged to her "soulmate", as she likes to call him. I had to spend many late nights listening to her ranting about how Faiz was just the person for her. And when I couldn't take her ranting anymore, I, as a big, responsible sister, had to take the next step of talking to my mother and brother about it. Well obviously my talk worked since she was getting engaged today. The engagement venue is adorned with fairy lights strung across wooden beams, creating a warm and inviting ambiance. Tables are dressed in crisp white linens with burlap table runners, decorated with mason jar centerpieces filled with wildflowers. Since it's early in the evening soft acoustic melodies are being played allowing guests to mingle and converse comfortably. But as the night progresses, after the exchange of rings the music will transition to a lively one for everyone to dance and celebrate a little. Faiz and Aimal are sitting on the stage and are not being discreet about talking and laughing with each other despite my mother telling Aimal throughout the day again and again to act a little shy on stage. I made my way to her in my gorgeous 'tea' pink maxi and sat down next to her rather uncharacteristically since my heels were starting to hurt my feet now and it was not even that late in the night. Leaning close to her, I whispered in her ear while smiling politely to a few guests looking our way, "Don't let mama catch you acting all shy around the guests." "Don't remind me, I did try to act nice for the first few hours but now I already want to exchange the rings and eat the food. I am very happy that it's my engagement party but I am a little tired acting as a display to the guests all evening." Is this girl crazy? "My heels are killing me too but Saif bahi hasn't arrived yet so we cannot exchange rings without him. Have some patience." It was a week of consecutive late nights working at the office for my brother, Saif. I had noticed for the past few days that he would appear more exhausted and frustrated every time he would come home from his work. "Don't wait for me so late," he had said one night after I had served him food. I placed my hand on my waist and made a surprised expression, "Oh my, your mother will have me by the neck if I don't serve his precious son food and I know you won't eat yourself and go to bed hungry that is if you sleep nowadays." He just smiled at me because of my dramatic response and indicated to sit beside him. "You'll tell if something is bothering you right bahi?" "Yes Amara. I will. Don't worry your nasty head over it." He laughed tiredly as he patted my head and took his plate towards the sink. An uneasy feeling made its way inside my chest but that day I ignored it. And now today uneasiness creeped inside me again. He promised he wouldn't be late to his sister's engagement party. "Okay, don't worry. I'll call Saif and ask him where he is. I am sure he must be on his way." I made my way down the stage towards my mother who was busy exchanging pleasantries with Faiz's mother and brother, Shehryaar. Although not too fond of their mother because of her overbearing personality that she had expressed on certain occasions I really like Faiz and Shehryaar. Shehryaar at the age of just thirty was a business 'tycoon' and had that dark vibe going around him. But not once had he expressed his attitude towards me or Aimal but instead had always talked with us with a softened expression and a polite smile on his face. As I reached my mother I kissed her on the cheek and greeted aunty and Shehryaar. After exchanging some small talk, I turned towards mama, "Mama, did you call Saif? Where is he?" "Your brother is making me very mad. I called him to ask his whereabouts but he said that he is still at the office and won't be able to make it before ten. We should carry on with the engagement and then we'll call him again." My heart did not agree with the idea but since all the elders had decided, it's not like someone will listen to me now. As we all made our way towards the stage to carry on with the function, I called my brother to convince him to leave his work for just a few hours but the phone just kept ringing and he didn't pick up. "I cannot believe he is choosing his work over his sister's big day." I mutter under my breath as Aimal and Faiz finally got engaged. *** It was after the food was served that I couldn't wait anymore. I knew I won't be able to stomach anything if I don't see him and neither was he picking up my calls to inform me whether he is fine or not. That's when I decided to go to his office to check up on him myself. The thing was I couldn't go alone and everybody was busy eating. Walking back and forth between the entrance decor, I waited for my brother's car to arrive but nobody came and that's when my eyes spotted a silhouette in the dark. Squinting my eyes, I realized it was Hamad, my brother's best friend, by the way he was leaning against his car, his head tipped back as he smoked and drummed his fingers on the hood of his car. Instinctively my face made a weird face because of having him as my last option to go with. But I took a deep breath, picked up my maxi and made my way towards him. The clicking of my heels surely made him aware of my arrival but he didn't bother to acknowledge me. "Bahi isn't picking up my calls. It's very late now. Can you- can you take me to his office?" I asked him. He took his time blowing a puff of smoke in the air and then slowly turned his head towards me. "No." My mouth opened in surprise. How can anyone be so blunt? But the uneasiness in my chest can make me beg him right now. Therefore i tried again, "Please, I am worried. Everyone's busy eating or else I would have gone with Shehryaar and wouldn't have bothered you-" His jaw clenched at my words and then he threw his cigarette on the ground and crushed it with his shoes. The darkness made me unable to see his expression very well. Why is he even standing in the dark? Was he waiting for bahi too? "Come." It took me a few seconds to process his words since I thought I would have to beg him more for this. "Do you want to go or are you just going to stand there?" That's why I despise him, he always talks so harshly with me as if I killed his dog. Oh lord, help me. I prayed as I rounded the car to get in. My feet aching with all the walking I did earlier in my heels. On our way, I messaged my mother and Aimal about where I was going and then proceeded to call Saif. He wasn't picking any of my calls. My heart thudded as the uneasiness increased in my chest. Tears gathered in my eyes as my mind wandered, my feet ached and my stomach felt empty. You can cry later in your bed. "Why do you have to wear heels when you can't handle them?" My head snapped from the window to him at his sudden question. What's his problem? "I can handle them. It's just that I walked a little too much earlier." I mumbled. "Can you drive faster? I am not getting a good feeling." My voice turned heavier at the end. I saw as he gave a little nod, clutched the steering wheel tighter and sped up. Ten minutes of silence and a car drive later, we arrived at my brother's office. The building looked empty and terrifying but I knew my brother was inside. Opening the car door, I made my way inside the building, my legs and hands shaking at the utter fear I was feeling. Suddenly, I was jerked back a little as Hamad grabbed my wrist. "Let me check first." He said as his gaze roamed my face. "Come on." We made our way to my brother's cabin and Hamad opened the door slowly. I watched as his eyes widened and he uttered a small "Saif." The door wasn't opened fully restricting me from watching what he was seeing. I pushed the door further and asked, "What are you looking-" That's when my eyes went to the scene in front of me and my world crumpled.