Powerless

Chapter 4

"Hamad, slow down," I begged the lunatic beside me. He was driving the car so recklessly, cutting through cars and bikes and my heart was going like thump, thump, thump.

"Don't test my patience. I don't want to hear a single word from your lips right now." He almost growled, his jaw was ticking like a bomb and his knuckles were white with how much strength he was putting in grabbing the steering wheel. I decided that it was better to stay quiet right now and so I just twirled my thumbs over one another until we reached his house.

The car came to a screeching halt right at the front of his house and he rounded the car to open my door.

When he extended his hand to grab my arm again, I pushed myself further in the seat to get away from him. Noticing my movement, his eyes darkened.

"Amar-" he warned.

"Why are you acting like that? Stop it." My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at him.

He has no right to act so controlling.

Few seconds pass with him looking in my eyes as if searching for something and then he sighed resignedly.

"Okay, come on. Let me look at your hand." He again extended his now unclenched hand towards me in which after a few moments of hesitation I placed my hand.

He then lead me towards what I assume was his living room.

The walls were painted a dull grey, creating a not so bright backdrop. The furniture was predominantly black—plush sofas and armchairs with chic geometric patterns, a glossy black coffee table at the center, and minimalist black shelves. The floor was adorned with a plush white rug and my mind at once created a scene of me spilling coffee on that. Overall, the room was what one can call as effortlessly stylish.

By the time I checked out his living room, Hamad had brought a first aid kit from somewhere and was now leading me towards one of the couches. As he took my hand to apply some cream on it, I extended my hand towards it,

"I can do it."

"You already did what you can. Let me." Something in his eyes made me drop my hand and sigh in resignation.

Around five minutes later, as he packed the first aid kit, I started the conversation which I wanted to have with him in the park.

"Hamad, I have decided to start looking into the matter. You're right Saif won't do it." No matter how much he got tired of us. Of me.

"No." My head snapped towards him in question. What does he mean by just no?

"What do you m-"

"You're not ready. Look at what you have done." He gestured towards my hand in surpressed anger. "I thought you were braver than that. This whole investigation would require a lot of guts. And I suspect the conclusion won't be the one you could get pass. So no, I am not putting you at risk." And then he got up with the medical kit to put it in place.

My frustration rose. I was brave.

He didn't know what happened, it was just in the heat of the moment. And I was determined to provide my brother justice that he deserved.

"You cannot decide for me! I want to do this, if you won't help me then I'll do it myself," I went after him.

He turned towards me abruptly making me stop just right in front of him.

"You are not doing this with me and absolutely not without me."

The determination in his voice made me realize that i would have to change my tactic a little bit.

"Please, Hamad. I want to give Saif the justice he deserves. This," I indicated at my injured wrist, " was just in the heat of the moment, I am sorry. I won't do it again."

"I don't believe you."

"I won't, I promise." I pleaded.

He only sighed in answer.

***

Half an hour later, I was sitting on the floor near the coffee table so that my shoulders were almost in line with the table, giving me the perfect position to read the papers Hamad had given me. He was man-spreading on the couch next to me, also reading one of the papers he had collected from Saif's office.

I was on the last paragraph of my paper when Hamad threw the papers in his hand on the coffee table with a sigh.

"What happened? Did you find anything suspicious?" I asked, placing a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Not a single thing. We would have to visit his office again. I didn't collect all the papers and these are surely not the recent ones." He said as he followed the movement of my hand.

"Are you sure-" I was still not convinced that someone would be an enemy of my brother to an extent that they would kill him in cold blood.

"Yes, Amara. I am sure. I have pictures of the bruises on Saif and I had them confirmed that it was because of the protest he did before being outnumbered or losing strength."

I cleared my throat and opened my mouth to ask him something when he cut me off,

"No."

"I didn't say anything."

"You were going to ask to see the pictures so no. That's non-negotiable."

"You're unbelievable." I threw the pencil in my hand on the coffee table and saw as it rolled a little before coming to rest near the papers that were also sprawled there. I knew that he won't agree in any case right now so I dropped the topic for now.

"What do you think we should do then?" I asked him, exasperated.

He leaned away from the couch, elbows on his knees and hands in a single fist.

"We still have Saif's phone to look at and I am hopeful that we'll find something in it but it's currently dead.I was not able to find his laptop in his office but I am sure it must be somewhere in the office only since you said it's not at home," he then turned his head towards me and continued, "Are you up for visiting his office tomorrow? We can search it better."

My eyes went to the table, looking at all the papers sprawled on it.

I was really going to do this.

"Yeah sure." I started to get up, it was late now, I should have been home already.

"Would you like to drink coffee?" Hamad suddenly asked.

"Uh- it's late. I should probably head home. Mama and Aimal would be worried." Especially with the way I left.

"I'll drop you home after having a cup. Come." And then without waiting for my reply, he went into the kitchen, assured that I would follow him.

The audacity he has.

Nevertheless I followed him to the kitchen not before picking up the stray pencil so that I can make a bun of my hair. There's a certain point to which I can tolerate open hair.

"How do you have such an effortlessly stylish interior?" I asked as I went to lean against the counter, a few steps from which he was busy making two cups of coffee.

"Designed it myself." He smirked while mixing the cream in one of the coffees.

Shouldn't have said anything. His ego is already big enough.

"It's nice," I shrugged as I took one of the extended mugs from his hand and saw as he mimicked my position next to me on the counter.

"How are you?" He asked after a few seconds of comfortable silence as he sipped his coffee.

We are getting serious now, huh?

I raised my mug to my lips to buy me some time.

How was I? I don't know that myself dude.

"I was mostly worried about mama, she is not doing well."

Yeah that's good.

If he noticed a little tremble in my hands, he didn't highlight it.

"Yeah but I asked about you."

Why does he have to be so observant?

How was I supposed to answer that,

Should I tell him that I feel like dying too? That I am starting to doubt if Bahi really got tired of us?

"I am fine." but that's all I said, trying to make my tone dismissive.

"I think I should head home now. The coffee was better than any I had in a while. Thank you." I said as I took my last sip of coffee and proceeded towards the sink to wash my mug.

"Leave it. I'll wash it." He said as he noticed my movement. His eyes told me he noticed my attempt at deflecting the conversation.

"I'll- I'll do it. It's no problem. Give me yours and then we can head home."

I started washing my mug, concentrating on the task. It was way better than looking at him anyways.

Fifteen minutes later, the car stopped at the front of my house. We both sat in it in complete silence with I, contemplating what to say when he broke the silence.

"You'll tell me if you need anything, hm?"

I won't. Why would I?

"Yeah sure."

"Amara. I am serious."

"Okay, okay I will. Thank you." And then I started to open the door to get out. It was too suffocating in the car, I needed a breather.

"Wait." His voice stopped me.

"You have something of mine." He said, voice an octave lower as he learned towards me.

"Wha-" I opened my mouth to say something when his fingers went at the back of my head and he took out his pencil from my hair.

Oh.

"B-bye, Hamad." That's all I said before rushing inside, not before feeling his gaze at me until I stepped inside.