Her shredded Heart

Chapter 2 : Bittersweet

                Chapter 2: Bittersweet.

Four years ago:

“Whatever happens I will protect him with my life. You can believe me Kay, why do you have to be the one to go? Why can’t you just let me go? I can handle whatever your family has planned. I’m the strongest Alpha of our species I can easily take them out. “His face was contorted in pain echoing the pain and desperation in his voice.

. He didn’t want me to go and leave. I understood. The pain was also in my chest I didn’t want to leave my loves. I knew if I didn’t go my family would find us. He still thought I was just a werewolf. I never lied to him but let him assume. It was safer if he just didn’t know what I was. It would only make him a target and him and my sunshine were already target’s. Why? Cause I went against my family for a filthy mutt over my betrothed and had a child outside of there silly laws. He was my mate and my fate so how could I not when I looked at him and felt so loved.  Something I had never even got from my mother or father… love.

“Never let him go. They will hunt you; they will kill you if they find you. They are not werewolf’s mate they are something so much more. Protect our son. I can handle anything they do to me if I Know that he is safe.” I whispered.

Anger contorted his face. “You would abandon us anyway and yet all you care about is your son. Do you even have feelings for me, or did you just use me to get a son! You don’t care if I Die just as long as he is safe?” He yelled at me.

I stood there in shock and bewilderment. “Of course I love you and I’m sorry to break your fragile heart but yes I love my son greatly and if you see a problem I will have someone else protect him so I know that someone’s jealousy will never get him caught. Never get him hurt!” Somewhere during that I yelled.

Sunshine walked in looked at me.  “momma” He was almost two and wearing Spiderman pajamas. He has a mixture of his dads and my hair. Grey and red. His little eyes were different color one purple and one blue. He radiated innocence. I picked him up placing a kiss on his cheek holding him tight. “Hello, my handsome little man. Is my big boy ready for something to eat?”

He giggled into my neck and said “Yeoh moommma” feeling loved and grateful I turned from my mate and made my way to the kitchen.

“Would you like some waffles for breakfast?” I asked with a smile on my face. This little boy could light up my world when he was around, I radiated happiness and love.

He shook his head yes and I grabbed some eggos out the freezer. We placed them into the toaster and waited for them to pop up. I put him in his chair after another quick squeeze getting him chocolate milk and a plate. He used a sippy most days other days just a straw and cup. The waffles popped up and I grabbed them starting to rip them into pieces for him. He didn’t like syrup which made my life easier. I gave him his fork and his waffles, and he smiled as he dug in.

My mate watched from the doorway. I ignored him. His words earlier just making me madder than ever before. Why is he jealous of a child? Our child. Why is he not wanting to also keep him safe at all cost? Will he hand him over to my family the moment my back is turned? Will he destroy him over jealousy? Was this even my mate. He had never behaved like this before and it was unsettling.

“What would you like to do today sunshine?” He was busy shoveling pancakes in such a happy manner he didn’t answer right away.

“Par” he said with a smile.

“Park it is. Let’s finish eating and get dressed ok love?” He shook his head and kept eating. He was so smart for his age even if his words were less than perfect. He understood a lot more than people thought and was always able to surprise them.

“This isn’t over Kay. I still want to talk about this.” He said his voice and body emitting a dark aura.

“Fine I will be in there in a minute. Let me clean up. “I let sunshine down from his seat when he finished and told him to go play as I cleaned up. He took off for his toys upstairs.

Mate didn’t feel like waiting till I was done.

“I’m sorry. I should have never showed jealousy over our son. Your right that he needs to be protected and I let myself think the worst… can’t you just say for both of us to stay safe? Sometimes I need to hear that you love me to you know. It’s not like it’s been said a lot and we’ve been together for years Kay. I just want to feel loved to.” He said sheepishly. I know he was baring himself to me. This was a part none of his packmates had ever seen. A soft and kinder side.

“I do love you mate. I’m sorry that sometimes I fail to express it. I thought you knew. I gave up everything for you. I’ve nursed you back to health when you have been injured. Stayed when your pack hated me and tried to kill me. I’m sorry love I just thought that you knew. I will always love you.”

I walked to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. I kissed him on his soft lips and immediately started to feel the heat flowing through me. It wouldn’t take much for this to lead to s*x. That was the fun thing about a mate bond. It increases your lust and feelings for each other. It does other things to like speed up healing, allow us to speak thru the link even if we are not part of the pack like my case. (They rejected me as Luna of the Black wolf pack. They didn’t like that I made there alpha” weak”) It also gives a special time when we ovulate. This may not seem like a big deal but when you don’t have a period and just have a heat. Its amazing. Crazy but amazing.

He wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me closer. His smell was intoxicating. It was Musky like the smell of a forest in the morning but some how also the smell of sandalwood. It always felt like I could never get enough of him. I could drink him in and never get tired of it. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him teasing him with my tongue to let me in. He hesitated for a second and then allowed me in.  The kiss grew hungry as we fought with our tongues daring, longing. This wasn’t an innocent kiss this was an everything kiss.

I moaned in my throat as my heat was growing. Mate put his hand on my breast gripping and massaging. Running his thumb over my n****e letting the bud get hard underneath him. I gripped his hair pulling in ecstasy. Needing more. I broke from the kiss and started nipping at his neck playfully….

I ripped myself from the memory. Disgust showering my face. I would never ever let him touch me again. He would just suffer agonizingly smiling. Luna spoke            He is still your mate child, even if he is a monster, we only get one. Do you want us to die? If he dies, we die this is how the mate bond works. He feels our pain as we feel his. You would be torturing yourself to instead of making him pay in a different way.

Growling “He deserves everything that he will get and more! No negotiations! The blood on his hands is to much. Soon he will truly know how I felt losing our son. Maybe He will finally understand.”

“Make him pay child but don’t kill him. I want to live and I unlike you still believe our child is out there hidden. Make him think you are still broken; show him you are weak. Play the bait. Use your mate bond to exact our revenge. But for god sakes Rosaline stop being a total i***t and find our son. The connection is not gone! Find him! We need him…we need our sunshine.” The last part was a whimper and I could feel the pain in her voice. It was the same as my own. He was both of our child the perks of being what we are. Two souls in one body.

With tears threatening to fall. “Luna you’re the only one who believes he is still alive. I know what I saw that day. They would have never let him live… There was to much blood over mother for him to be alive. He hasn’t … “my voice cracked in pain. “He didn’t even get to be able to shift and heal. He doesn’t have our healing abilities. “I’m glad we could speak like this in our head Luna has helped me move on a lot, but she has also given me my new reason for living although she is regretting it now. We had different views of revenge she wanted her mate in the dungeons with silver until he finally told us our son was alive. I just wanted the fucker dead.